


nobody knows where they might end up

by tvfanatic97



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medical, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Medical Jargon, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-09-16 16:37:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16957653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvfanatic97/pseuds/tvfanatic97
Summary: In an effort to relieve their pre-first day of work nerves, Peter and MJ both decide to have a random hookup with each other but they soon discover that they'll have to work side-by-side the morning after when they find out they are on the same residency programme.-A medical residency/doctor AU.





	1. Chapter 1

The culmination of four years of undergrad plus a further four years of medical school had MJ too nervous to focus on anything. Not reading up on common conditions and their treatments just to cover her bases, not sleeping, _nothing_. So she decided to go out for a single drink at a local bar which was unlike her but she thought it might help calm her pre-first-day-as-a-doctor nerves.

Her intention was to have a single drink, a shot of something strong preferably, just enough to give her a slight jolt of relaxation but no more than that since she had work at 6am, then she’d immediately go back to her place to ensure she got enough sleep ahead of her first shift.

That intent flew out of the window when she'd met one _Peter Parker_.

He was at the bar getting a drink to calm his nerves as well ahead of his first day working as a doctor but Michelle didn’t really hear the rest of what he said, too distracted by the bob of his Adam’s apple as he spoke, the flexion and relaxation of the muscles of his arm as he picked up and put down the glass of some fruity concoction he was having as he spoke and the random curls that were falling out of their place where he’d styled his hair that he’d put a hand out to correct every so often.

And suddenly Michelle realised there was another way for her to relieve her stress that didn’t involve drinking.

After putting both of their addresses into her Google Maps to determine whose place was closer to the bar, she thusly paid for the drink she hadn’t touched then dragged him out of the bar to catch a cab back to her place.

Their entire cab journey was spent making out in the back, Michelle sneaking her hand further and further up Peter’s thigh just to get him to make that small breathy moan sound at the back of his throat she’d discovered the first time she pressed her lips against his whilst they were stood outside the bar.

Once they finally get to her apartment building, they quietly fumble their way through the apartment as quietly as they can, MJ not wanting to alert Betty to her having brought someone over, though it’s difficult with the giggles and quiet moans coming from both of them but especially Peter as MJ presses impatient kisses to the underside of his jaw and touches him everywhere like she can’t get enough of him.

Eventually they stumble into her bedroom and MJ kicks the door closed behind them before pushing Peter down onto her bed.

“What are we doing?” Peter tries to slow them down but his hands automatically come up to grip her thighs when she sits on his lap, straddling him.

Michelle presses a quick kiss to his lips. “Relieving our stress about our first day at work,” she points out like it should be obvious to him.

Peter peppers kisses down the column of her throat then breathlessly asks into the skin, “Are you drunk?”

MJ pulls away from his kisses, using a gentle hand on his chest to keep him back, before looking down at him incredulously, “You saw that I didn’t even touch my drink, Peter.”

She then pushes him down to lie flat on his back before getting up to strip herself of the basic jeans and t-shirt she’s wearing.

Peter cranes his neck up to watch her undress, watching her appreciatively in a way that's gratifying. “Then why are you doing this?” He can’t help but clear some things up, like he needs some sort of validation that she really wants this- _wants him_.

“Having sex will release endorphins in both of us that will help us relieve our stress, keep up Peter. Didn’t they teach you neuroscience at NYU?” She teases, reaching for the down to unbutton and unzip her jeans.

Peter sits up and flips them over so MJ is now on her back then he gets up off the bed to remove his own clothes. “Classic Harvard elitism,” he mumbles as he reaches a hand back to pull his t-shirt off.

“There were clearly gaps in your curriculum, that’s not mine or Harvard’s problem,” Michelle sits up and shuffles to the end of the bed to help him with getting his jeans off.

“Oh we learnt all about oxytocin, its link to the dopaminergic pathway and sexual behaviour, trust me,” Peter says with a laugh when Michelle slaps his hands away from his belt to take care of it herself.

She exhales triumphantly when she finally gets his jeans off then pulls him down to lie on top of her. “Lots of big words there, Parker. Are you sure you know what they mean?” She teases before pressing her lips against his before he can retort.

Peter simply huffs exasperatedly when he pulls away from her lips before kissing a path down her neck then continuing down to her chest where he pauses for a moment to unclasp her bra then he continues his ministrations over her now bare chest.

MJ sighs contentedly, arching up into his touch where he teases, licks and sucks.

Eventually, after Peter is satisfied he’s paid enough attention to her breasts he pulls away. “I’ve just stimulated oxytocin release to facilitate your arousal there,” he states with a pleased smirk.

MJ shakes her head at his antics, “Feel like you have something to prove, Parker? You can’t keep up with me, don't even try.”

Peter starts kissing his way down her stomach, getting tantalisingly close to the waistband of her underwear before he pulls them off entirely. He then starts kissing her lower stomach, her inner thighs, getting closer and closer to where she desperately wants him but without ever touching her. Though it seems to be enough for her as she gets worked up from his teasing alone.

When he finally does press his mouth to her centre, she only needs to give him a bit of guidance on what she likes before he starts working her over. Her breathing grows increasingly erratic as he continues his ministrations, using her verbal reactions as well as those of her body to guide him on what’s working and what’s not.

MJ is surprised by just how good at this he is, especially when it’s their first time- _first and_ _only time_ , she has to remind herself- sleeping together. With past partners it normally takes time and training to get them to the point Peter seems to already be at.

MJ almost allows herself to get lost in the sensation of it all, as Peter takes his time exploring but she catches herself when she remembers this is meant to be a quick thing to get her to relax so she reaches a hand down to firmly grip his hair and pull him away, to which he makes a whiny sound of protest like he was really enjoying himself before she rudely interrupted him.

“Let’s cut to the chase, I wanna get a good eight hours before my shift,” she pants, trying to catch her breath again.

Peter shrugs as if to say “you’re the boss” before he makes his way back up her body.

She then takes back control as she has him lie on his back once again then she drags his boxers off, leaving him laying completely naked before her for the taking.

She gets up off the bed leaving him alone and Peter makes a sound of protest again but the sound dies down when he feels MJ come back to hover over him with a condom in one hand.

MJ retains control the entire time, moving above him at her own pace and whenever he tries to slow them down or steer things in any way she gently pushes him back down onto the bed and rides him in earnest with a hand planted firmly on his chest, more focused on taking her pleasure rather than getting caught up in the moment or caught up  _in him_. They continue moving in kind until they both collapse, completely exhausted and satiated.

After taking a moment to catch her breath she then moves off him and heads to the bathroom to clean herself up whilst he disposes of the condom and hopefully gathers his things and leaves.

“Made yourself at home, have you?” She teases when she pads back into the room and sees him in her bed, taking a moment to change into her pajamas.

“Oh, uh, sorry. Can I sleep here? Please?” Peter asks sheepishly.

She watches him closely for a moment, considering what to do. It'd probably be for the best for him to leave now but there's something about the way he's curled up under her covers, looking completely content and relaxed that makes her reconsider. “Sure, but you’ll have to leave first thing in the morning when I need to go to work,” she says as she muffles a yawn, crossing the room to join him under the covers.

“Thanks,” he says with a smile, his eyelids heavy as he starts to drift off already.

They then fall asleep on their respective sides of the bed.

 

* * *

 

Peter wakes up to MJ shaking him not-so-gently, “Peter, get up. You need to go.”

He rubs the remnants of sleep out of his eyes, trying to re-orientate himself and remember where he is but MJ is shaking him some more and practically pushing him out of her bed.

“Jesus Christ,” he yelps when he nearly falls over the edge of her bed; he just manages to catch himself by putting his feet out onto the floor.

“I have to go to work in half an hour, you need to go,” She throws all his clothes at him which hit him square in the face, his reflexes blunted from his brain still being sleep muddled, not fully awake yet.

He laughs softly as he starts hurriedly pulling his clothes on, “What, no breakfast in bed wake-up call?”

“Do you know how one-night stands work, loser?” She asks, trying to stifle a laugh.

Peter pauses at her joke-y question, he’s technically never had a one-night stand or ever even slept with someone outside the context of having known them for at least a few months and been in a relationship with them before this but he doesn’t want to tell her that. “Shut up,” he tries to brush it off but she gives him a pointed look that tells him she sees through his weak retort.

She opens her mouth to say something, probably about to call him out on his lie but she doesn’t get the chance as Peter catches sight of the time on his phone and realises he has just half an hour to make the twenty-minute journey back to his place then get ready for work before having to make the further half an hour journey to the hospital.

He is gonna be late for his first day at work.

So much for starting off work as a changed man. Throughout the entirety of his medical school education, he was infamous for always being late, whether it be to lectures or to the wards when he was on rotation. His peers, the faculty staff and even the medical staff were aware of Peter “Always Late” Parker but he had vowed to himself once he started working, he’d start being early to things for a change.

“Shit!” he exclaims, hurriedly pulling his jeans up the rest of way. He barely has the time to buckle his belt up before he is running out of MJ’s bedroom.

He briefly pauses by the door then turns to face her, “Uh, thanks for last night.” He awkwardly gets out as a goodbye.

MJ snorts, in a way that’s almost fond, at him, “Goodbye, Peter Parker. Have a nice life.”

He smiles at her and gives her a small wave then finally leaves her room, taking the time to close the door carefully instead of slamming it to stay as quiet as possible then he turns to continue his journey when he nearly bumps into who is presumably MJ’s roommate she’d told him about last night when she was telling him to keep quiet whilst her hand snuck down to his crotch to rub him through his jeans when they’d gotten into the apartment last night.

“Hi there! I’m Betty,” she stretches a hand forward to greet him.

He realises the compromising position he’s in, trying to quietly sneak out of her roommate’s bedroom, one hand trying to buckle up his belt- though that’s probably not what it looks like. He quickly takes his hand off his belt then puts his other one forward to shake her hand. “Peter, nice to meet you.”

“Friend of MJ’s?” she asks teasingly though she quite clearly knows he’s not already.

Peter runs a hand through his unkempt bed/sex hair, a nervous tick of his, before replying, “Uh, something like that.”

Betty laughs softly, “Are you staying for breakfast?”

“Oh, I- I actually need to go. I’m gonna be late for work.”

“Shame,” Betty sighs.

“Yeah,” he agrees awkwardly.

“Well, it was nice to meet you Peter.” She then waves him off finally giving him his out to leave.

“You too!” he calls back as he runs out of the apartment.

He catches a cab back to his place, luckily managing to avoid traffic since it’s still before 6am. He heads straight for the shower upon his arrival, just having a basic, rushed body shower then he changes into some slacks and a white button up, the first unwrinkled shirt he comes across, then he finishes the look off by throwing on a pair of basic black loafers.

He’s simultaneously stuffing his white coat into his backpack as he stuffs a piece of toast into his mouth when his roommate walks into their living room, startling him since he’s never up this early normally.

“Ned, why are you up so early?” Peter asks clutching his chest slightly.

Ned shrugs, “Never slept. I have a big project to finish up for work.” Ned carries on to their small kitchen without another word.

Peter is just finishing up and getting ready to head out when Ned comes back into the living room and hands Peter a lunchbox. “I made you lunch like the good housewife I am.”

“You can’t be a housewife and work at the same time,” Peter snorts as he gratefully accepts the food. “Thank you so much, I love you bud.”

“Love you too, have a great first day!” Ned shouts after him as he runs out of their apartment.

By the time he’s made the journey to work, dropped his belongings off in the locker room, gone to collect his ID badge and pager and gone to the ward he’s assigned onto to try and find out where the other first day residents are he’s about an hour late already.

He finds the other group of residents where one of the kindly ward nurses had directed him to, in the doctor’s lounge.

“Oh, nice of you to finally join us,” a doctor who’s stood at the front of the group of nervous first years whom he assumes is the third-year resident charged with looking after them all, greets. “Peter Parker I assume? Great first impression you’re making.”

Peter sputters out an apology then settles into a seat near the back.

“I was just saying today is mostly about familiarising you guys with how things work at the hospital, more like an induction basically. IT people will take you through how to use our records system, how to access patient data and obs then I’m gonna be showing you guys around the department and the hospital. I know you’d have had a tour when you were interviewing but when I send you out to do something or to go to another department I don’t want it to take longer than necessary because you don’t know where you’re going. I don’t like wasting time.”

She pauses to allow them the time to take in everything she’s just said before continuing, “So-“ She gets bleeped at that very moment, interrupting her before she can go any further. She sighs, “I thought I told them not page me unless it was an emergency. I gotta go, all of you stay in here. I don’t need you causing trouble without my supervision,” and with that she departs from the room.

Now that they’re by themselves, Peter takes a moment to take a breath.

“Liz seems nice,” another one of the residents turns to him in lieu of a greeting.

“Yeah,” he says with a polite smile.

“She’s the 3rd year resident looking after us who’s just left,” she clarifies when she notices the lack of recognition on Peter’s face that he didn’t successfully disguise in an attempt to be polite. “I’m Cindy by the way,” she introduces herself.

“I’m-“

Peter starts to introduce himself but Cindy interrupts him, “Peter Parker, I know. Liz said your name just then, remember?”

Peter laughs, slightly embarrassed at having already made a terrible first impression on the people he’ll be spending upwards of 80 hours per week with for the next few years of his residency.

“Liz’s hot,” another one of the residents comments unabashedly.

All the residents collectively groan at his gross comment.

“Keep it in your pants, Eugene,” a voice that’s very familiar calls out.

Peter looks towards where the voice originated from and he sees her, _MJ_ , from the night before.

The woman he’d literally slept with barely ten hours ago was here also starting her first day of an Internal Medicine residency at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital. Of all the residency programmes and all the hospitals in the city what were the chances that she’d end up here. Perhaps if they’d gotten to know each other a bit more before he fell into bed with her last night he would’ve found out that she was gonna be working here and he wouldn’t have slept with her.

They have a brief moment where they just stare at each other from across opposite ends of the room without moving or saying anything.

Finally Peter opens his mouth to say something, he’s not exactly sure what he’s even gonna say but Liz walks back in before he has the chance to speak.

“False alarm, they thought the patient had gone into VFib but they’re okay. Let’s get the dull paperwork and introductory stuff done so you  can start doing actual doctor-ing shall we?”

And Liz leads the group out to complete their hospital induction and they’re all so busy that Peter and MJ never get the chance to speak over the course of the day anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peer pressure works kids! I have 2 other unfinished on-going fics but between the anon cc and twitter users Cande, spideyxchelle, hughesytweets and floofyparker all ganging up on me and me having literally no backbone here we are! Just a few disclaimers first:  
> 1\. I'm British and whilst I try to Americanise all the English some things I'm gonna miss, my bad.  
> 2\. Again, I'm a British med student so what little (and there is very little, and i've taken liberties with the little there is) medicine is in here is based on British guidelines and what I've been taught here so if you notice discrepancies then that's why. And also idk loads about how residency/medical training is structured in the US so I've taken some liberties to make it fit with the story. 
> 
> But overall the focus of the story is really on Peter and MJ's relationship so I hope this stuff doesn't detract from that. Hope you enjoy and as usual, comments and kudos are much appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, the "Medical Jargon" tag has been added for a reason. It's obviously not essential to the plot that you understand any of it but just thought I'd warn you...it's a medical residency au after all.

“Are you done?” MJ annoyedly huffs, crossing her arms as she waits impatiently for Betty to stop laughing or more accurately, cackling. Betty is _literally_ cackling at her.

Much like her as a person in general, Betty has a cute laugh where she hiccups slightly when she laughs a little too hard so MJ finds that it’s hard to stay mad at her best friend even when she is mocking her and laughing at her predicament like she is right now. Her best friend is adorable, though she would never say that to her face.

“Sorry, I’m sorry I just-“ Betty wheezes, barely able to get her words out before she’s off again. Hunched over, griping her sides as she laughs heartily at MJ’s misfortune.

MJ sighs then turns around to their electric kettle that has just finished boiling her water. She pours the water into her travel mug with a green tea bag already in it for her to take with her to work before tightly screwing it shut. Betty is still laughing all the while she does this.

Betty exhales loudly, finally calming herself down enough to speak without breaking out into laughter all over again. “I’m sorry but you have to admit it’s a tiny little bit funny, just a little bit” she says with a happy grin, her laughter barely contained.

“Is it?” MJ asks unamused with her eyes narrowed.

“C’mon MJ you have to see the humour in it, you hook up with a guy that you hope to never see again afterwards then he turns out to be one of your new co-workers that you’ll be spending a lot of time with over the next three years. It’s pretty funny.”

“Shut up,” MJ retorts childishly, sticking her tongue out petulantly at her because she’s a mature 26-year-old _obviously_. She must admit she might have been able to see the humour in the situation if she didn’t have to face the aforementioned hook up nearly everyday of her life, it kind of defeats the purpose of having a one-night stand with a stranger.

Betty bites her lip to stifle the laughter that’s brimming and threatening to break out again at any moment. “Since when do you even have one-night stands anyway? You’ve never had a random hook up in your life before now.”

“Maybe I wanted to try something new, Doctor Jones is different from med student Jones. I’m a new woman,” she declares with feigned confidence. After a pause, “Maybe Peter being my co-worker is the universe punishing me for being slutty.”

Her and Betty make brief eye contact for a moment before simultaneously bursting out into laughter at her words.

Eventually their laughter dies down, “Okay, this slutty doctor has gotta go. It’s my first proper shift doing doctor stuff rather than just getting IT training, I wanna be early,” MJ grabs the backpack that was slung over the back of one of their kitchen chairs and places her travel mug in the side pocket before heading towards their front door to grab a hoody by the hook.

“Go save lives, my hero!” Betty calls out with a wave before turning to go and change for her morning sunrise yoga class that she goes to daily. After years of rooming with her, MJ still doesn’t know how or even why she does it.

MJ makes her way to the basement of their apartment building to the bike storage rack then grabs her trusty bike she’s had since undergrad that’s lasted her throughout her adult life so far and makes the fifteen-minute cycle journey to work.

When she gets to their locker room she finds that she is the only resident there, so she heads out to the doctors’ break room where she hopes to get a moment to herself to sip on her tea whilst she waits for everyone else to arrive.

But she has no such luck as she finds their third-year resident, Liz, already there eating a bowl of what looks like porridge from the hospital cafeteria. “Oh hi MJ, you’re here early,” Liz greets warmly with a small grin when she notices her presence.

“Oh, um, I just like being on time I guess,” MJ responds awkwardly, going to tuck her hair behind her ear before remembering her hair’s currently up in a bun. MJ is generally not someone who is nervous or awkward but since meeting Liz she finds that she has an inexplicable need to impress her so she finds herself considering her words and second-guessing herself in a way that she rarely ever does. Maybe it’s that she’s someone directly overseeing the residents so she has to impress her, or maybe it’s that she’s another black doctor in a sea of very few of them who’s gone through most of residency already so is in a position that MJ aspires to. There’s also the other small thing of Liz being attractive, but that’s neither here nor there.

“Good habit to have,” Liz praises before turning back to finish her porridge.

They sit in companionable silence, MJ sipping on her tea whilst Liz finishes off her breakfast of the bowl of porridge along with an apple and a cup of coffee.

After Liz finishes her breakfast she turns back to MJ, “So where’d you go to med school?”

“Harvard, undergrad and med,” MJ responds automatically and she inwardly cringes at her response, she doesn’t want to come across like she thinks being Harvard alumni is a personality trait the way most people who went to the school do.

“Stanford here,” Liz replies with a small smirk.

“So uh,” MJ starts awkwardly- small talk has never been her forte. “What are the attendings like?”

“Oh they’re all great, today you’ll meet Harrington. He’s a little… _eccentric_ and is a real proponent for teaching ward rounds so get ready for a lengthy ward round with everyone today. He likes to spend like an hour per patient,” Liz says bemusedly. “It kinda feels like you’re a student again rather than an actual doctor but you’ll definitely learn the most with him. I have at least.”

“That’s cool,” MJ isn’t really sure what else she’s meant to say.

She’s luckily saved from having to carry on making awkward small talk in an attempt to impress and/or befriend the admirable third year resident when the other residents start filing in, first Cindy then Abe then Flash and Seymour come in last together.

Harrington then arrives, ready to start the ward round though MJ notes that Peter is glaringly missing but she puts the observation aside as Harrington rounds them all up to introduce himself to the group and prepare to start seeing all the patients on the list.

“I’m not a big fan of the whole phone, iPad or whatever technology thing by the way,” Harrington turns to tell them as he walks confidently ahead of the bumbling group to the main ward. “I don’t wanna see you guys with your heads buried in your technology as we’re seeing patients, it’s rude and you learn better by experience and being engaged, y’know?”

The residents, besides MJ of course, all nervously nod along at the same time, Flash quickly stuffing his cell phone that was in his hand back into his pocket. Liz simply observes the nervous residents, smiling at them and MJ can tell that she is trying to contain her laughter at their nerves.

“I can use the iPad to direct the ward round though,” Liz says with a sly wink.

“Oh yeah, Liz here is the exception,” Harrington taps her shoulder. “Once you’re all third years then maybe you’ll have iPad privileges.” He jokes wryly then he turns serious again, “Okay who do we have first Dr Allan?”

Those words seem to prompt Liz to turn more professional as well, “Okay we have Mr Smith, a 63-year-old gentleman who came in via the ER with a COPD exacerbation a couple of days ago. We’re just waiting for his symptoms to improve before discharging him.”

“This is a nice one for you guys to go over your basics,” Harrington comments as he listens to Liz going over the patient’s history of presenting complaint. “I hope you guys are ready to be quizzed.”

Just as the group is turning to go into the patient’s room, Peter runs up to finally join the group- he’s about fifteen minutes late.

“Dr Parker,” Liz greets, an underlying chastising tone to her greeting.

“Sorry I’m late,” Peter mumbles as he straightens his white coat timorously.

“Dr Parker is it? Since you’re late, you can examine our first patient and present your findings to the group,” Harrington says with a slightly sardonic smile, gesturing for Peter to enter the patient’s room first ahead of everyone else.

MJ snorts to herself quietly. It’s what he deserves.

After Dr Harrington has introduced himself, Liz and all the other residents, Peter then introduces himself specifically and gains informed consent to examine Mr Smith before touching him and he does a comprehensive and slick respiratory exam MJ might be impressed by if she were a different person and she didn’t know she could do it better.

Peter then presents his findings back to Harrington and instead of immediately commenting on the findings, Harrington turns to the patient to do a mini-history with them- asking them about how they were doing now compared to when they were first admitted to hospital and general questions about how they are feeling within themselves.

All the residents stand there awkwardly unsure of what to do for a while before Harrington eventually turns back to address them, “So as well as doing all the investigations and examinations, talking to patients is an important part of it. And not just for doing the initial history but you should do it all the time the patient is with you; the tests may tell us the patient is getting better but you should check that with them. Lesson number one for ya there,” Harrington explains with slight humour lacing his words. “Okay time for quizzing, what’s the main thing we have to exclude before we can discharge Mr Smith here?”

Without even having to think about it MJ is first to speak up, “Respiratory infection.”

“One point to-“ Harrington pauses a moment to look at her name badge, “-Dr Jones. So from speaking to Mr Smith here, he’s already told us he was put on antibiotics but what else do we need to ensure he gets once he’s discharged?”

“Pneumococcal and Flu vaccines,” MJ answers with ease again before the other residents even have the chance to think about the question.

“Nicely done,” he commends. He then turns to Liz, “Dr Allan?”

“We’re already liaising with his primary care physician to schedule all that,” she tells Harrington, already knowing what information he’s after without him having to spell it out; MJ supposes that ability to anticipate what information your superior wants without them having to ask for it comes with a few years’ experience working under someone. “Don’t you worry Mr Smith we’ll make sure you get all the shots you need this time round,” she looks up at the patient to reassure them.

“And is there anything else we might consider or assess Mr Smith for?”

“Long term Oxygen Therapy.”

This time it’s not MJ who speaks. In fact, the person answers just as MJ opens her mouth to answer the question herself but she’s beaten to the punch- something she’s not accustomed to because it rarely if ever happens to her.

MJ turns to her left where the answer came from and sees Peter smiling slightly as if proud of himself but the smile is only slight and small as if he’s pleased with himself but doesn’t want to come across as cocky or prideful.

She decides to brush off the bizarre feeling of someone beating her to the punch as a one off as they move on to the next patient on the list.

 

* * *

 

Despite his vow to stop being perpetually late Peter still managed to come late again for his second day overall and first proper day of work. Though, like with every other time he’s late, he actually has a genuine excuse this time in that today he’d left his bike outside his favorite coffee shop for just a few seconds to pick up a caramel macchiato then when he came out his bike had been stolen (he had forgone the lock, figuring that he’d only be two minutes and his bike would be within view the entire time) so he’d had to run the whole way to the hospital.

He thinks he’s made up for his tardiness by impressing the attending and Liz as much as he can though. Although he seems to have found himself in a weird competition with MJ where they compete to answer all of Harrington’s questions and to be first to volunteer to complete any exam.

Peter is generally not a competitive person by nature. He works hard and puts in the effort to learn as much as he can and be the best he can be but he doesn’t ever feel compelled to prove himself, to prove how hard he works and how much he knows to others but there’s something about the challenging, almost daring smile MJ throws his way whenever he opens his mouth to answer one of Harrington’s questions and she answers it first before he even gets one word out that brings it out of him.

With a simple look and a daring smirk, she brings out a competitive side in him that he didn’t even know he had and suddenly he finds himself racing to answer first, to volunteer to do something first and impress the senior physicians. MJ and he are playing a game amongst themselves that the other residents aren’t a part of and Harrington seems mostly impressed at the knowledge and skills the pair display.

The ward round turns into a race to beat MJ. To beat her to answering, to beat her to fetching a piece of equipment for Dr Harrington. Anything and everything becomes a competition between them.

He is generally conscientious of not speaking over others around him or taking away learning opportunities from them and he comes to the realisation that that’s exactly what the two of them have been doing by the time they’re seeing their fifteenth patient so he decides to ease up to let others have the chance to speak up.

MJ also eases up on being first for everything but she does watch him with a triumphant smirk for the rest of the ward round.

Once they finish making the rounds, they compile a list of jobs to be completed and Liz pairs him off with MJ, mumbling something about how they seem to apparently “work well together” along with reassurance that she’s simply a bleep away if any of them need assistance with anything though she wryly reiterates that the tasks she’s assigned should be simple enough.

The group disperses to start on their tasks leaving him alone with MJ for the first time since, well, since _that night_ before they started their residency.

MJ is agonising over the bit of paper Liz had jotted down their job list whilst Peter just stands opposite just her watching her instead of their job list.

“Um so, should we talk about-“ Peter starts awkwardly.

MJ interrupts him before he can finish his sentence and acknowledge the fact that they had sex out loud. “We could tackle this job list in the order we saw the patients but I think it’d be better to group the tasks by job type…so, we start with ordering pathology and imaging then whilst that’s being processed we can start on paperwork and making phone calls to sort out discharge and follow up clinic appointments,” she rails off, all formal and business like.

Peter is amazed by her ability to be completely professional and act like they’re nothing more than co-workers and like they haven’t seen each other naked. Or done all that other _stuff_.

“Are you with me Parker? Try to keep up, slowpoke,” MJ half-teases, bringing him out of his thoughts about the other night and back to the tasks at hand.

Peter clears his throat, “Are we just gonna pretend like we didn’t, um- _you know-_ like a couple of days ago?” Peter asks keeping his voice low and using euphemistic terms.

MJ sighs wearily, like she was hoping she wouldn’t have to have this conversation with him but is being forced to do so much to her dismay. “Look Peter, it was just a one-time thing because I was a little stressed. It didn’t mean anything so I don’t see why we should keep going back to it and letting it affect our ability to work together and be professionals. It’s not an issue for me, I barely remember it anyway. It’s not gonna be an issue for you, is it?”

Peter pauses, considering her question. He’d never had a one-night stand before now and it was pretty much all he’d thought about since it happened but he can see that MJ just wants to forget about it and move on so what he says is, “No, no, it wasn’t a big deal for me either. I just wanted to check that we’re on the same page, just like- get it out of the way. Deal with the elephant in the room or, whatever,” he rambles, nervously laughing to convey a casual, unbothered air that is in no way reflective of how he is currently feeling.

MJ watches him with her eyes narrowed like she’s trying to decipher if he truly means what he’s saying then when she seems satisfied with what she sees she finally nods, “Okay good. Now we can work together without things being weird and you can be the second-best resident.”

“Second-best?” Peter scoffs in disbelief but MJ has already gone ahead without him, walking in the direction of the elevators.

He runs after her to join her in the elevator and slips in just as the elevator doors are closing. Of course she wouldn’t press the hold door open button for him.

 _Of course_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The enthusiasm to this thus far is really amazing!!! Hope you enjoyed this latest chapter...I'll try to keep on updating on Wednesdays but no promises. As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated!!
> 
> Also, you can find me on tumblr @tvfanatic97-2 and on twitter @dayaspsychic x


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a forewarning, there are brief allusions to the beginnings of a panic attack in this chapter but it is *brief*.

Peter scoffs and makes further exaggerated noises to highlight his disbelief at the supposed revelation he’s just uncovered about her.

“Spit it out, second best,” she huffs, exhausted by his dramatics. She’s trying out a new nickname for him this week, much to his absolute _delight_.

“But how can you not drink coffee? How do you like, I don’t know, _survive_?” Peter asks, his brow furrowed in confusion in a way that one- one who’s _not_ MJ- would perhaps describe as adorable, but _definitely_   _not_ her.

They are currently sat updating patient prescription orders for the pharmacist. It is truly surprising just how much of a doctor’s role involves paperwork and sitting at a desk in front of a computer, by surprising she means horrendous, off-putting and all other synonyms that highlight just how much MJ detests this aspect of the job. And she’s only two months into said job.

Two months into working with her one-night stand from two months ago. Two months into constantly being paired off with him every day they’ve had to work thus far but it's _fine_.

“Green tea, way more caffeine and less gross than coffee,” she says by way of explanation to his previously unanswered overly dramatic question.

“Coffee is _not_ gross-“ he starts to protest, his voice rising an octave in annoyance but then he pauses, “Wait, does green tea really have more caffeine?”

She simply rolls her eyes at his stupidity. “Done!” she exclaims triumphantly. She’s beaten him in another one of their dumb, completely unnecessary competitions to see who could complete their half of the prescription orders first.

It’s astounding, albeit amusing, how much work has become a competition to beat Peter at everything ever since their very first day. MJ wouldn’t describe herself as someone that’s competitive, mainly because she tends to excel above the rest so she has no competition to speak of. At school, at college, and at medical school she was the best there was so it's difficult to be competitive when you have no worthy opponent to compete against. And she knows that’s cocky, but she has worked hard and overcome a great deal to get to where she is so she allows herself that one thing of revelling in her hard work and success.

With Peter it’s… _weird_. For the first time in her life she feels challenged by someone, but not in a way that’s threatening but rather in a way that’s… it’s indescribable. It’s exciting but she can’t pinpoint why it’s so exciting.

“I finished five minutes ago, I’d just started on updating some patient records with _all_ my spare time,” Peter teases. She can tell he’s going for cocky but he can never quite pull it off, the cockiness comes off as slightly unnatural to him like he’s unaccustomed to it, like it’s not really who he is.

“Shut up,” she retorts.

Peter opens his mouth to continue teasing her further but Liz suddenly appears in front of them, bringing them out of the weird competitive/flirtatious haze they seem to always find themselves in.

“Have you guys finished the prescription orders?” She questions straight-faced with no preamble, it’s coming to that mid-morning slump where people’s mood and energy starts to falter slightly.

“Yep,” Peter and MJ reply simultaneously.

“Okay come on, there are some patients Harrington wants us to see and we can get some of you guys’ competencies done whilst we’re at it,” she’s already walking ahead leaving them to quickly log off their respective desktops and run after her. Well, Peter runs, MJ walks casually after Liz not needing to run because of her longer strides. _Short ass_.

For the next hour or so they see patients with Liz and the other residents, as per Dr Harrington’s instructions. Most of it is menial tasks, a catheter insertion or removal here and there, a bunch of cannulas, some blood and sputum samples to collect and so on and so forth.

They all take turns to complete them on each patient with Liz observing and giving feedback. It truly feels like being a medical student again but MJ is not too proud to admit she can see the value in this approach to teaching/training- knowledgeable doctors are good doctors or, whatever. It still doesn’t make it feel less patronising though.

They’re in the middle of seeing a patient, with Flash inserting a cannula into their hand when Dr Harrington finds the group.

“Doctors!” he exclaims, “There you all are!”

MJ hears Flash swear under his breath at the loud disruption and the patient wince slightly before Flash mumbles a string of apologies and withdraws the cannula to start all over again.

“So, you guys have hit the 8-week point of your pulmonology rotation,” he says rubbing his hands excitedly. “Dr Allan, do you know what that means?” His eyebrows are hiked high on his forehead and he holds his hands out in front of him expectantly, his excitement barely contained.

Liz simply hums in agreement and MJ can tell she’s on the brink of rolling her eyes, not playing along with whatever this little schtick is.

At the same time, Flash straightens up after having completed his task. They all then file out of the patient’s room to give him his privacy once again, with Dr Harrington offering the patient apologies for his sudden intrusion.

Once they’re all out in the hallway he finally announces his exciting news, “So every year when the first years are coming to the end of their time in our department before they move on to a new rotation we do a little mini-competition type thing. You’ve all obviously had teaching on how to do a bronchoscopy but one lucky resident will get to do one on an actual human being instead of a mannequin!”

That causes excited low chatter to break out among the first years.

“I’ll be there to assist and step in should you need all throughout the procedure, of course. And I’ve gotta say, it’s a good sign for whoever gets this opportunity. Liz here-“ he gestures to her, “Liz got to do this when she was a first year and now she’s the chief resident so…you draw your own conclusions about how important our little department competition is,” he says bemusedly, waggling his eyebrows.

MJ’s eyes automatically, almost out of her control, immediately pan to face Peter and she finds him already facing her with a small smile that matches her own and his head tilted to the side in a daring way. Like he’s challenging her directly.

She smiles wider at him, wordlessly acknowledging and accepting his challenge before she turns back to Harrington as he outlines details of this so-called competition.

“So yeah, if you have any questions you can direct them to Liz. She’ll base her decision on your performance over the last two months and over the next couple of weeks as well.” He then puts a hand out to cover his mouth from Liz’s view then stage whispers, “She’s watching you,” with an exaggerated wink which makes Liz giggle. He then bids them farewell to go to his clinic, leaving them to carry on seeing patients under Liz’s supervision.

Liz instructs MJ to call for a porter to take the patient they’re now seeing down to radiology for their appointment whilst Peter is collecting a samples for testing.

She quickly makes her way to the main desk  and calls down for a porter but is informed that the department is currently swamped and there is no porter available to transport their patient, at least not for another half an hour.

MJ relays this message to Liz who instructs her to keep calling and pestering them, she notes that MJ is probably the only one insistent enough to do so.

So every five minutes in between seeing patients, MJ goes to the main ward desk to call down for a porter but unfortunately, each time she calls she’s met with the same spiel about there being no porters available, and each time she’s told it’ll be half an hour despite the time that passes with each phone call she makes.

She keeps going back and forth between the phone and the mini-ward round until Liz eventually gets frustrated and instructs MJ and Peter to take the patient down themselves lest the patient misses their radiology appointment. They really don’t wanna piss off the radiographers and radiologists.

“But what if something happens to the patient whilst we’re transferring her?” Peter questions for the umpteenth time whilst MJ prints off the radiology request Dr Harrington had filled out earlier in the day.

“Why do you always assume the worst, second best? If anything, since doctors are transferring her she’s better off than she would be with a porter. Calm down,” she huffs. She annoyedly smacks the printer when the imaging request gets jammed. It’s surprising that with all the technological advances that have been made in the field of medicine and in the world generally, printers are still so shitty and can easily stop working because of a bit of paper getting stuck.

“Hitting it is not gonna get it to work, you Neanderthal,” Peter says as he gently pushes her aside to open the paper tray where the issue seems to be. “And we’re hardly doctors Em- uh huh!” he exhales triumphantly when he’s got the culprit bit of paper out from where it’s jammed.

“Things straying from the norm isn’t a sign of impending danger, Peter. We’ve got this,” she tries to reassure as she finally grabs the print-off and walks ahead of Peter to the patient’s room.

Peter mumbles something just under his breath that sounds kind of like “Yes it is,” but she dismisses it as him being over dramatic as per, but when she turns to look back at him he genuinely looks distressed which she didn’t expect. She pauses to smile sympathetically at him and tries to calm him down, “How about this, Peter- we’ll take a defibrillator and a bag-valve mask with us, just in case of anything but I’m sure we won’t need them.”

He breathes a small sigh of relief and looks slightly more at ease though there is still a slight edge to his demeanour but he tries to brush it off when he notices how she’s watching him closely to see if he’s okay.

MJ tries to process what she’s seeing, tries to determine why he is as nervous as he is but she barely has the time as they get to the patient’s room.

“Peter!” Gwen-Stacy, the young patient in her 20s who seems to have taken a liking to Peter, greets with an excited wave when they step into the room. She turns in her bed slightly and sees that MJ is there as well, “I, uh- I mean hi, Dr Parker and Dr Jones. Is it time for my radiology appointment already?”

“Yeah, we couldn’t get you a porter in time so we’ll be taking you down ourselves,” MJ explains with a slightly forced polite smile, jumping in before Peter has the chance to speak.

“Cool!” Gwen declares looking at Peter rather than her.

“Dr Parker should we get going?” MJ prods and Peter moves to place a mask and defibrillator at the end of Gwen’s bed.

They then wheel Gwen out with MJ steering at the head of the bed whilst Peter is at the foot of the bed facing Gwen. He makes small talk with Gwen whilst MJ just tunes them out and instead focuses on steering them into the elevator.

She presses the 1st floor button then leans her head back against the back wall of the elevator and closes her eyes briefly to take a calming breath as she reminds herself that it’s not long till they can finally get a lunch break.

 

* * *

 

Peter continues to make small talk and listen to Gwen as she tells him random titbits about herself and her work as a pre-school teacher.

He can sense that she’s flirting with him but he tries to maintain his professionalism because it’s inappropriate given their doctor-patient relationship, and also because she’s not really his type. He’s recently found that his type is apparently women that are taller than him with curly dark brown hair, an ever-present scowl on their face, and a biting edge and sarcasm to the way they speak.

But he decides to keep talking to Gwen and entertaining her, it helps distract him from the weird, unwelcome sense of dread he’s feeling right now.

As if on cue, the elevator screeches to a halt.

“Fucking hell,” MJ curses as she reaches a hand over to the button pad to try and press the 1st floor button to get the elevator going again but she has little success when the elevator doesn’t budge.

Peter feels his breath catch in his throat slightly. This is fine. It’s _fine_.

MJ presses the emergency call button and a technician answers on the other side and informs them that they can’t locate a fault but are doing their best to get them up and running again.

“Don't worry, it won’t be long before we’re off second best,” MJ teases but she has a small reassuring smile, like she can sense just how uneasy he is.

“W-w-what’s going on?” Gwen stutters out.

Peter turns back to her briefly and tries to reassure her, “Elevator’s just stopped but we’ll be off soon, don’t worry.”

Gwen looks between him and MJ a couple of times. “Where are we?”

That alarms him greatly, “Gwen, are you feeling okay?”

MJ squeezes round to come and stand at Gwen’s bedside to take a closer look at her, “Peter, she’s cyanotic and dyspneic.”

Things are _not fine_.

“I think she might be arresting, Peter-“ MJ turns to face him and abruptly stops when she sees how he seems to be struggling with his breathing as well.

“Peter you’re okay. Just take a deep breath in and out, we’ve had Advanced Life Support training for this very moment. Just breathe,” he can hear her saying, though she sounds kind of far away and slightly distorted.

He can just about make her out pressing the emergency button and speaking into the comm and relaying information about what’s happening as he tries to get his breathing under control.

He’s not much help to MJ and especially not to Gwen like this, he keeps reminding himself as he tries to remember how to breathe again, tries to recall the steps drilled into him at school about how to deal with the situation.

After a moment he eventually comes back into himself and turns to see MJ frantically trying to bag Gwen.

“I think’s she’s in cardio-respiratory arrest, start on compressions and I’ll keep bagging her,” MJ instructs.

He suddenly goes into action, all his teaching and training coming back to him as he moves to start on chest compressions, singing the tune to the Bee Gees’ ‘Staying Alive’ under his breath to maintain his rhythm.

When his arms tire, him and MJ smoothly swap places despite the confined space of the elevator and she takes over the chest compressions whilst he takes over bagging.

They work well in a coordinated manner ensuring they maintain resuscitation techniques with as little interruption as possible but after multiple rounds of alternating chest compressions and bagging Gwen, they still have little success. “We need to shock her,” MJ decides and Peter is grateful that she’s making all the decisions and instructing him on what to do right now.

The elevator chooses that moment to start moving again and they only move for a few seconds before it slows to a stop and the doors slide open to reveal a cardiac arrest team waiting for them on the other side much to his relief.

Peter continues chest compressions until the very last moment when the senior professionals take over.

Liz suddenly appears as well and steps forward to help out with Gwen, but not before dismissing him and MJ and telling them to take some time and go eat as well as congratulating them for doing their best to keep her alive.

Peter and MJ mechanically make their way back to their department, opting to take the stairs rather than the elevator this time.

They separate once they get to their floor with plans to meet again in the cafeteria, with MJ heading to the locker room to grab her purse so she can buy her lunch whilst Peter heads to grab his packed lunch Ned made for him the previous night that is stored in the fridge of the break room.

He finds MJ sat in a corner table with a tray of food already in front of her despite the long line of staff waiting to get food and the fact that they hadn’t been apart for that long. He’d previously questioned her about how she always manages to get food so rapidly and always gets the exact food she wants before it runs out and she’d slyly winked and leaned in to whisper how she "has her ways” and Peter had been too distracted by her tickle of her breath against the shell of his ear as she spoke and her sudden proximity to press on about what she meant.

“You doing okay, second best?” she gently questions when he slides into the chair opposite her.

“Yeah, yeah,” he weakly reassures. He opens the lunchbox and looks down sullenly at the turkey sandwich Ned made him; his favorite. He really doesn’t deserve his best friend.

“We did everything we could for Gwen and kept her alive, exactly according to our training and teaching. Her survival chances are better because she was in hospital and she had two of the best first year internal medicine residents with her when it happened,” MJ says to comfort him but still he doesn’t look up at her. He notes how even when offering comfort she’s still matter of fact and doesn’t offer him empty promises like “I’m sure she’s okay” because really, they don’t know that, and he appreciates that she doesn’t lie to him.

He feels MJ’s hand come to rest lightly over his where he’s tightly gripping the edge of their table and that brings him out of his thoughts and he relaxes his grip on the table to try and seem less affected than he is currently feeling. “ _Peter_ ,” she says imploringly.

“It’s just that, that was the first time we’ve had to be in a proper life or death situation where someone's life was literally in our hands without the safety net of a senior physician being there to help, y’know? It’s, um, it's a lot.”

MJ nods sympathetically, not saying a word.

“And I just panicked because it took me back to that night when- when Ben-” he stops abruptly when he catches himself before he goes down that path. “I guess I need to learn how to compartmentalise like you,” he says with a slight, faked, laugh to brush it all off.

MJ regards him for a moment and he thinks she might press on and force him to carry on and say what he was just about to say before he tried to brush it off by complimenting her. He can see her warring with herself about how best to proceed and he thinks she just might talk him into opening up more, but at the last second she withdraws her hand from his and throws a chip at his face. “I’m better than you in every way, slowpoke.”

“I thought my nickname was ‘ _second best_ ’ now?” He finally reaches to grab his sandwich and starts eating.

“Your nickname is whatever name conveys that I’m better than you in every way that I feel like using that week, slowpoke,” she says with a smirk throwing another chip at his face, though this time he manages to catch it in his mouth.

“Oh sorry, Harvard,” he says between bites of his sandwich.

MJ winces slightly and grimaces at that, “Try harder, slowpoke.”

He knows she’s referring to his half-assed nickname. He’s nowhere near as witty or as funny as she is but he’s trying his best.

“Shut up,” he retorts, unable to think of anything cleverer to say.

They finish the rest of their food making idle chat, with MJ teasing him about how he’s like a school kid with his packed lunch of a sandwich, fruit and bag of chips and she further teases him by asking if he also has a little juice box or a bottle of milk to help strengthen his bones and help him grow, perhaps. He in turn reminds her about how unhealthy hospital food is and makes joke-y comments about how his body is a temple to which she just rolls her eyes almost-fondly and laughs at him.

Before he knows it, the thirty minutes usually assigned for lunch have already flown by and Peter finds that he feels much lighter and better than he did about twenty minutes ago. It likely has something to do with the woman sat opposite him who’s still throwing fries at his face which, seriously- _how_ does she even still have fries to even throw at him?

“Are you ready to head back? We can go and find out what happened to Gwen,” she says after she’s gone to place her tray on the dirty dishes trolley.

He nods and gets up to follow after her back to their department to find Liz and inquire about Gwen.

Once they reach their floor, Peter jogs slightly to go ahead of her so he can get the stairwell door for her but she puts a hand out on his shoulder to stop him. She then gently pushes him aside so he's against the wall, effectively cornering him.

Peter audibly swallows at the unexpected proximity, looking around them to see if anyone is nearby. They’re alone.

“Look Peter, you should find something that works for you to help you deal with all this stuff and “compartmentalise” as you put it. That’s how I was able to stay focused when everything went to shit, not because I’m naturally calm, cool and collected, well- I mean, I _am_ -“ she jokes causing him to laugh slightly. “What I’m saying is, I’ve found something that works for me and you should do the same otherwise this might all get to be a lot, okay?”

A smile breaks out on Peter’s face as he feels himself relax further. “Thank you, MJ.” And he really means it.

She smiles back at him and her hand that is still gently grasping his shoulder squeezes and rubs his shoulder gently to further calm him and Peter looks from her hand to her face and he finds her watching him intently, considering him. He swallows audibly again, a low heat blooming within him as he feels suddenly drawn to her.

Before he can do something stupid like give into the instinct to just lean forward and close the minuscule gap between them, she suddenly withdraws her hand and takes a step back before walking away from him.

“Come on, second best,” she calls back to him as she walks through the stairwell door not bothering to hold it open for him.

Surprise, surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please bear with me everyone who keep asking me when they're gonna hook up again, we'll get there eventually I promise lol. Anywho, hope you enjoy this latest installment and I should be back w chapter 4 next Weds...I'm really trying to stick to an upload schedule here. As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> Also, you can find me @tvfanatic97-2 on tumblr and @dayaspsychic on twitter x


	4. Chapter 4

Peter slides into the seat opposite MJ in the break room and greets her with a “Hey MJ,” that he hopes comes off as cool and casual though it probably doesn’t because well, it’s _him_.

MJ’s head slowly pans up to face him then she looks back down at the phone in her hand before looking back up at him then back down at her phone one more time. Eventually, her eyes settle on him and he can tell that she’s shocked though she’s doing her best to disguise it so as to maintain her usual apathetic façade but nearly three months of working closely with her, spending upwards of eighty hours together per week with her, has made him privy to some of her ticks and well-disguised facial expressions.

“Looks like you’re finally starting to understand the concept of timekeeping, only took you what, twenty six years of life huh, layabout?” She asks, her eyes fixed on him before flitting back to her phone screen.

Peter scoffs, “Wh-I- _shut up_.” That’s all he is able to come up with in retaliation. Sometimes he thinks he’s becoming a pro at their little tête-à-têtes but MJ constantly reminds him that she's smarter than him and he still has a long way to go before he can match her wit, like right now.

He has recently found himself showing up on time more and more during the course of their residency, with today being the first day he’s actually arrived _early_. That’s just because of the vow he made to himself to stop being late to things at  the beginning of his residency and nothing at all to do with MJ and the little weird competitive thing they have going on though, obviously.

In an attempt to recover from his verbal fumble and lack of a retort to her comment about him being slow, as per, he instead decides to shift the conversation to something else to save himself the embarrassment. “What are you doing on your phone?”

Without bothering to look up from whatever she’s doing she answers, “Watching a video demonstrating bronchoscopy technique, since y’know-“ then she looks up to look him steely in the eyes before continuing, “I’m definitely going to win Harrington’s little competition and I’m gonna end up being the one to do the bronchoscopy tomorrow.”

“Is the cockiness something they teach you at Harvard?” Peter asks jokingly. Over their pulmonology rotation he’s come to realise that whilst MJ is undoubtedly incredibly intelligent and a great doctor, and well aware of it, she’s not actually cocky. She has confidence in herself and in her abilities that comes from the hard work she clearly puts into everything she does. The cocky air is just to rile him up and goad him into competition.

“Nope, that just comes with knowing you’re the best at everything and no one else even comes close to you,” she fires back easily with a sly wink and a shrug like it’s obvious. Like that’s just the way life goes, sorry Peter.

They face each other for a moment, a smile threatening to break out on his face even though his stare is meant to be a challenging glare. But he can tell that MJ is also similarly trying to contain a grin, the corner of her mouth twitching slightly in the way he’s noticed it does whenever he says something remotely funny and she’s trying not to give him the satisfaction of getting a laugh out of her.

She, surprisingly, gives in to the urge to smile first and her face lights up and relaxes as she allows the wide grin that was brimming beneath the surface to break out. He watches the way her lips spread into a full toothy smile, and the way the smile creeps across the rest of her face and to her eyes making them almost twinkle, for lack of a better, less embarrassing I-would-never-say-that-aloud-to-MJ descriptor, despite the obvious weariness and fatigue contained within them.

And it disarms him and energises him to face the next 12+ hour shift all at once, and he finds himself grinning back at her like the absolute idiot that he is.

The moment is however broken by Liz walking into the breakroom and settling into the chair next to MJ with an ease that seems practised, like they do this often, before digging into a bowl of what looks to him like porridge from the hospital cafeteria.

Peter doesn’t miss the way MJ automatically turns her body in her seat to angle it to face Liz slightly, his presence seemingly forgotten as she greets the senior resident with an almost-cheery, “Morning, Liz.”

And, _oh_.

He doesn’t have the time to process what he’s seeing before him however, the obvious change in body language and tone directed at Liz, because soon after, the other first years file into the break room.

The break room is quickly filled with chatter about the end of their rotation, the imminent bronchoscopy “competition” and what their next rotation has in-store for them, as well as plans for a “Yay we survived our first internal medicine rotation as actual doctors!” celebration.

Peter finds himself caught up in all this chatter with the other residents until Dr Harrington finally arrives to start their weekly attending-led ward round. Their final one with Harrington.

They see patients as they’ve done over the past three months of their rotation, with MJ and Peter competing to impress Harrington the way they always do and have done from the beginning.

They compete for the first ten or so patients before they eventually ease up. They have established  an unspoken agreement that on the ward rounds they only engage in their weird little battles for a small proportion of patients. Taking away learning opportunities from other people is not either of their styles.

With Harrington having arrived slightly late due to traffic they finish rounding quicker than they usually do and when Liz is assigning jobs to each of them as she always does, Harrington stops her with an ambiguous, “Liz, _it’s time_.”

“Are you sure?” Liz jokingly questions with a gasp.

Harrington only nods and gestures for her to continue.

“Okay, so the bronchoscopy thing. The person doing it is-“

Harrington interjects, “Liz you could at least add some dramatic flair to create tension and anticipation in the audience, c’mon.”

Liz’s eyes twitch slightly and Peter can tell she’s so close to rolling them but she huffs and acquiesces. “Okay- after much careful consideration, long hours of examination and intense deliberation-“ she turns to Harrington briefly to see if that’s satisfactorily dramatic and he simply gives her two eager thumbs up and nods for her to continue. “Congratulations to Dr Jones, you’ll be doing a bronchoscopy with Dr Harrington tomorrow.”

Everyone immediately breaks out into applause, genuinely pleased for MJ. No one is in denial about how much MJ excels above the rest of them and though they each would have savoured the opportunity to carry out a complex investigative clinical procedure within the first few months of the job, they all seem to be in agreement that MJ is the best person to have lost to.

MJ nervously bows her head and goes to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear before realising her hair is up in a bun and quickly puts her hand back down as the applause carries on, with Flash even placing two fingers in his mouth to whistle for her.

Peter catches MJ’s eye when the claps start to die down and she finally looks back up at the rest of her co-workers and he stares at her with a dopey smile as he claps.

She smiles shyly back at him then shakes her head and bites her lip to contain a laugh when Peter realises he’s the only one still clapping for her.

Peter clears his throat awkwardly and folds his arms behind his back in embarrassment after the realisation as Liz gets back to assigning their jobs for the day and Harrington bids his farewells before leaving them to it.

“Loser,” is all MJ says to him as they make their way down to pathology after Liz has once again, paired them off together to carry out jobs.

Peter finds that all he can do is smirk back at her as he walks beside her.

All the residents are happy for MJ and believe she probably deserves it the most out of them all. And none more so than Peter.

 

* * *

 

Despite the fact that it’s the end of what has been a trying and lengthy three-month rotation and MJ feels bone weary tired in a way she has never felt before in her life, she actually feels really satisfied and happy.

She’s survived her first rotation as a doctor, she got to do a bronchoscopy mostly unassisted today and knows in her heart that despite all the difficulties and lost sleep that she’s faced in the last few months, she’s undoubtedly in the right profession for her. It is this good mood that drives her to say yes to plans for end-of-rotation drinks with her fellow residents when they ask her despite the fact that she’s so tired and would much rather just collapse in her bed and sleep forever, or at the very least until they start their next rotation in a couple of days.

When she gets home she finds their small kitchen table set up with plates and cutlery whilst Betty cooks something.

“Hi, you made it through your first 3 months of residency! Only eleven more lots of three months to go!” Betty excitedly greets her.

MJ groans, “Don’t remind me of how long I still have of this, you bitch.”

“It’ll fly by, just like this rotation did,” she reassures. “I made that vegetable ratatouille you like to celebrate.”

MJ smiles at that. She does not deserve her best friend.

She goes and hugs Betty side-on without disrupting her cooking. “Sorry for calling you a bitch, I take it back” she sighs as she pulls away from her.

“I am a literal angel, I know.”

“I’m gonna shower and change quickly whilst you finish cooking, if that’s okay?” she informs her. Betty is also part of the reason she’d agreed to go for celebratory drinks with everyone, Betty has always and continues to encourage MJ to put herself out there and socialise once in a while.

Betty simply hums in response as she carries on cooking so MJ leaves her to go have a quick shower then she changes into jeans and a t-shirt, not really bothering with her outfit. Going out in itself is enough effort as far as she’s concerned and she’s not going to exert even more effort by bothering with her appearance.

Once she’s done she re-joins Betty in the kitchen and they settle down to eat dinner together, with Betty telling MJ of how she thinks she might have met a boy but is gonna wait to see if it’s going anywhere first before she fills her in on more.

When they finish eating MJ is tempted to just go straight to bed but Betty practically shoves her out of the apartment and tells her to go socialise and spend time with her co-workers outside of a hospital setting for once and MJ grumbles as she puts her jacket on and leaves to go to the bar, but she _does_ go and that’s what matters.

She arrives just after everyone else and she finds them having settled on a table in the far corner.

“MJ, first round's on you since you’re late!” Flash calls out to her by way of greeting.

“Woah- no. I’m not doing the rounds thing since I’m not drinking, Eugene,” MJ says as she settles into the seat next to Peter’s at the end of the table.

“You’re not-“ Flash huffs ready to protest but decides to let it go before turning to his next victim, “Okay, Parker. You and MJ are like one or whatever so you buy the round instead.”

Peter scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, “I’m not drinking either.”

Flash scoffs in utter disbelief before loudly announcing _he_ will get the first round before grabbing Abe to come help him carry the drinks, leaving MJ alone with Peter on one end of the table and Seymour and Cindy down the other.

“You’re not drinking?” she asks Peter quietly.

“I figured it’s no fun to be the only sober one amongst drunk people,” Peter declares simply.

It’s so disarmingly thoughtful of him that MJ feels a warmth bloom within her and the start of a smile starting to form so she tries to brush it off, “Just admit you’re not the drinking and partying type, nerd.”

“I could say the same for you, Harvard,” Peter teases, raising his eyebrows at her.

“Shut up,” is all MJ can say in return, slapping his shoulder gently. It feels weirdly flirtatious but their haze is broken by Flash’s loud return before things can properly veer into that territory.

The night goes on with the residents taking turns to buy the rounds for the everyone on table- well, expect Peter and MJ- whilst they exchange their weirdest Harrington stories and stories about the most bizarre or funniest patients they encountered during their rotation.

And though MJ hasn’t had anything to drink, she feels light and warm all over. It’s the emotions of the day, she reasons.

She watches Peter as he talks, occasionally reaching a hand up to run through his slightly unruly curls every so often and MJ is reminded of the first time she met him. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re in the same exact bar they first met or it’s something else but MJ feels weirdly nostalgic.

And she finds herself being completely transfixed by Peter. He navigates the social situation with an ease that she kind of envies, though his characteristic dorkiness is still present in his interactions and she finds him cute and can’t stop watching him.

She watches him even as he politely rejects advances from a few girls in the bar.

A sudden invasive thought occurs to her, that she could probably take him home with her with the same relative ease she was able to that first night if she wanted to. Which she _does not_.

That thought drags her back to reality, the reality of them being co-workers that had driven her to tell Peter that the first night had been meaningless to her and had driven her to implore Peter to just forget had ever happened. She quietly chastises herself for allowing her thoughts to drift like that when she’d resolved herself to not thinking about that or thinking about Peter in _that_ way.

She suddenly feels uncomfortable and doesn’t trust herself to stay out at this bar any longer lest she acts on the baser instincts she’s been desperately trying to suppress and ignore for the past few months.

Luckily, talk of going to a club starts up amongst the group, giving her an out to call it a night and head to the safety of her apartment where she can be away from Peter and the temptation.

“I don’t think I can go to a club. I just wanna sleep at this point so I’m gonna head off,” she hears Peter say to the group.

The now very drunk group starts loudly booing Peter and doing thumbs-down signs in his direction to express their displeasure.

“Are you coming, MJ? Please tell me you’re coming and you’re not gonna be boring like Peter,” Cindy drunkenly whines. “Please MJ.”

“I’m gonna go home as well, I’ve reached my socialising quota for the year I think,” MJ jokes.

“Oh, I see what’s going on here,” Flash says, sloppily waggling his eyebrows suggestively at her and Peter.

From where she’s sat she can see the slight rush of blood to Peter’s cheeks as he stutters out a, “What? No, no. That’s not- that’s _not_ what we’re, uh…” He reaches a hand to rub the back of his neck, his words dying down from embarrassment. A nervous tick of his she’s observed over the last few months.

“Okay, I’m gonna go,” MJ announces with a finality as she grabs her jacket to make her escape.

Peter also gets up at the same time she does and says his goodbyes before walking out with her.

He opens the door for her then guides her through it with a gentle hand on the small of her back and she knows he’s just being polite and gentlemanly because that’s the type of person Peter Parker is but it is absolutely not helping with the sudden bout of horniness that has just overcome her. So she walks quickly ahead of him, escaping his touch.

They both order Ubers then wait side-by-side outside the bar.

“Any plans for the weekend?” Peter asks awkwardly, and MJ can still see the remnants of a blush over his cheeks, which she finds endearing.

She slowly moves closer to him, their hands brushing slightly from the proximity. “I don’t plan on leaving my bed this whole weekend,” she answers quietly and she doesn’t realise the implications until the words are out.

“ _Oh-"_   Peter breathes out.

When did his arm curve around her waist beneath the flaps of her jacket?

“That’s not- that’s not what I…” she tries to defend her word choice but the words die down as she feels herself being pulled towards him until she is flush against his front.

Her head leans forward and down, almost at its own accord, to press their foreheads together as her hands come to rest lightly on his shoulders.

Their lips are a hairsbreadth away from each other and it would be so easy to just lean forward and give into the feelings that have lingered since their first night at this very bar, the feelings that have grown with months of working in close proximity.

But Peter simply rubs his nose up and down gently against hers a few times without kissing her as he just takes her in, the two of them breathing each other in.

She can feel the warmth of the hand resting on her lower back beneath her jacket so distinctly, like it’s resting on bare skin despite the fact that there is the barrier of her cotton t-shirt and it’s not helping her resolve.

She closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath to get herself together and stop her train of thought.

“Peter, we shouldn’t,” she whispers almost against Peter’s lips and she’s not sure if she’s trying to convince him, or herself. Or both of them.

Peter rubs soothing circles on her lower back as he speaks, “We still have to work with each other for the next three years, this is a bad idea.”

He makes no move to pull away from her though. And neither does she.

“Once is easy to come back from, twice not so much,” she reasons.

“Yeah,” he agrees, though it’s not entirely convincing.

“We have to work together in life or death situations, a personal relationship would get in the way of that,” she tries to reason again. Why has she still not moved out of his arms?

“Yeah, absolutely,” Peter agrees and she can feel his breath fan across her face, the warmth sending a shiver down her spine. “MJ, I-“ Peter starts but a car pulls up in front of them stopping him from saying whatever he was about to say that would've likely convinced her to give in. It's her Uber.

She comes back into herself and quickly steps out of Peter’s welcoming, tempting hold.

“Well, see you bright and early on Monday, second best,” she tries to play it casual but it sounds forced to her ears and she's slightly breathless.

Peter smiles almost sadly at her, “Sure, see you Monday.”

And she quickly escapes to her waiting Uber so she doesn’t have to look at his disappointed, sad face and start to reconsider. She doesn’t even look back at him as her Uber pulls away from the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me sticking to an upload schedule for 4-weeks in a row lol. Happy new year to you all and hope you enjoyed this latest installment!!! As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> Also, you can find me on tumblr @tvfanatic97-2 and on twitter @dayaspsychic x


	5. Chapter 5

Following their almost-moment, or however else you’d describe whatever it was that happened between them whilst they were waiting for their Ubers outside the bar at the end of their last rotation, things get back to a relative normal.

Well, as normal as they can be when they’re both now pretending like nothing happened- which it _didn’t,_ because almost kissing someone doesn’t count for anything, not really- on top of already pretending  like they never slept with each other that fateful night some months ago now.

It’s because of her they find themselves in this weird precarious position.

After making her cowardly escape in the Uber, she’d panicked. She’d spent that entire weekend agonising over how they may have potentially ruined their blooming friendship and working relationship, the latter being what panicked her the most because she liked working with Peter. He took the job very seriously but also made it fun for her as well as constantly keeping her on toes and challenging her, which always made the hours of their long shifts almost fly by.

Additionally, they’d kind of become each other’s support systems when it came to dealing with the difficulties of the job like deaths of patients and he was becoming someone she’d consider a friend and she didn’t want to lose that or ruin it in anyway. So on the Monday of their new rotation following the almost-moment, she’d treated Peter like it was any other work day and hadn’t even so much as hinted about the bar and anything that may or may not have nearly happened.

She could tell that Peter had wanted to talk about it, to just clear the air because he is the type of person that likes talking through their thoughts and feelings and directly addressing things, but that isn’t her style. Directly addressing it would also mean there was an “it” to talk about and there absolutely _wasn’t._ Her solution to dealing with it was to just pretend there wasn’t anything that she needed to deal with because she’s a mature and well-adjusted 26-year old, clearly.

And Peter, good, honest and respectful-of-boundaries Peter, had followed her lead to not address it and had also treated her like he would normally just like she’d done to him. Well, expect now the slightly flirtatious undertones of their teasing and banter and work competitions had disappeared and it was now almost strictly platonic.

Which was good, and it was what she wanted and yet she couldn’t shake the slight pang of disappointment at the slight shift in their dynamic.

But again, she’d just dismissed that unwelcome feeling of disappointment because despite being in an entirely new department, working with a completely new team of healthcare professionals, she still found herself being constantly paired off with Peter and she needed for things between them to not be weird. And to drive the point home, this week she’d been put on nights with him because _of course_ she had. The universe continued to play a huge cosmic joke at her expense.

Constantly being paired off with him did serve as a constant reminder of why she couldn’t go there with him so she would continue to pretend like they hadn’t slept together or nearly gone for round two just a few weeks ago.

“Are you even listening to me, hotshot?” Peter asks, bringing her out of her thoughts about the perilous position they find themselves in.

She rolls her eyes at the nickname; the more time they spend with each other the more Peter is getting better at coming up with nicknames as well as just generally being quicker on his feet with thinking of comebacks. It’s kind of annoying that he’s growing accustomed to her personality and sense of humour.

He looks at her expectantly making her realise she hasn’t actually responded to his question. “Sure Dr Dumbo, you said something about how your roommate Ned is dating someone and won’t shut up about her and how we’re always in the hospital and don’t have time to date or meet people and he's rubbing it in your face and then some self pitying monologue at which point I tuned you out because you know- _I don’t care_.”

“‘ _Dumbo_ ’ isn’t your best work I have to say,” he says with a slight wince, choosing to ignore everything else she’s just said.

“Sometimes the simplest nicknames are the most effective, young padawan. You have much to learn.” She reaches over to tug at his earlobe to illustrate the supposed effectiveness of her newest nickname.

The action has no ulterior motive, she’s just doing it to tease him like she normally does but she’d forgotten that they don’t do the whole flirty banter thing anymore- because of _her_. Peter stiffens briefly at the contact and she senses it so she quickly retracts her hand.

There’s a long stretch of time, realistically probably only a second or two, where neither of them move or say anything, unsure how to proceed but Peter is first to recover, “Good to know you were listening though. I thought for sure you were just daydreaming about Liz again.” He smirks teasingly at her.

MJ narrows her eyes dangerously at his comment and he immediately recoils, the confidence with which he’d made that cheeky remark disappearing faster than it had appeared. MJ smirks to herself, he may be growing used to her and trying to keep up with her but she can still intimidate him with a simple look when she wants.

“Okay, ready to head out?” Peter asks, getting up out of his seat so they can go and do handover with the team that were on during the day.

“Yeah-" she starts to get out of her seat but her phone chooses that moment to ring. “Shit,” she curses. She immediately puts it on silent without checking to see who’s calling then slides it into her pocket to follow after Peter.

After completing handover, they get started on the job list left by the residents who were on during the day and start seeing patients sequentially until they finish and get some down time which of course means time for paperwork. MJ’s _favourite_ part of the job.

They settle in front of desktops side by side in the office to start on it. MJ briefly takes out her phone and notes that she has a couple of missed calls from an unknown number but she elects to ignore them; the people closest to her know she’s on a night shift and know to text if it’s an emergency since it’s easier for her to check her messages than it is to answer her phone. She puts her phone down on the desk then gets started on typing up patient notes and updating their obs from when they checked on them.

Things are weirdly quiet tonight, _too quiet_ , though she doesn’t want to acknowledge that it’s a slow night out loud lest she jinx it and everything turns to chaos.

“Hey,” Peter starts without turning to her as he continues updating his half of patient records beside her. “Tell me a wild story from college.”

“Are we exchanging little anecdotes to while up the time now? Are we _that_ bored?” She deadpans, paperwork is _that_ boring to be fair so she gets it but she’s not going to humor him.

Peter stops typing altogether and swivels in his chair to face her. “Yeah, c’mon. Things are quiet and I hate paperwork so I need entertainment.”

MJ scoffs at his words, slapping him on the shoulder, “Nice work slowpoke, you’ve just jinxed us.”

“Oh don’t tell me you believe in that stuff too, that’s so unlike you.”

“Shut up.”

Peter continues teasing her, “Harvard over here is superstitious, who’d have known.”

MJ rolls her eyes, she hates that she’s just given him ammo to tease her with. “You wanna hear a wild story, huh?” She attempts to steer the conversation away from her believing in dumb superstitions.

Peter leans back in his chair to get comfortable and gestures with his hands for her to carry on.

“Well I have none, so tough luck,” She sticks her tongue out at him and turns back to the computer screen before her.

“Liar,” Peter protests.

“Well I don’t really drink so I never did anything too wild because I could never use alcohol as an excuse and I’d have had to live with my shame and embarrassment,” she says it jokingly but she thinks about how she’s still the same way. On both the night her and Peter slept together and more recently when they did whatever that whole bar thing was, she hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. She had no excuse for her impulsive behaviour hence why she’s chosen to just pretend it never happened to begin with rather than actually properly think about the reasons for her behaviour.

“How come?” Peter asks bringing her out of her thoughts again.

She blinks her eyes a few times to focus, “How come what?”

“I’ve noticed that you don’t really drink, why is that?”

“Oh it’s nothing,” she brushes it off, she doesn’t wanna talk about all that right now. _Not ever_ actually.

Peter regards her for a moment with his eyes narrowed, he can quite clearly tell there’s more to that story than she’s letting on and he looks like he’s deciding whether to press her further about it.

He doesn’t get the chance to make the decision because his pager goes off and he reaches for the phone on the desk to call the extension that’s just bleeped him.

MJ zones him out as he inquires about the details of the bleep to whoever is on the other end of the phone and turns back to her screen to shut it down since they’ll likely have to leave after Peter ends the call.

She sees her phone flashing with an incoming call and she looks between the phone and Peter in a silent question and he nods for her to go ahead so she picks the phone up then walks out of the office to go and take it in the hallway just outside.

 

* * *

 

When Peter hangs up the call informing him that a patient in a department they’re overseeing on their on-call is complaining of chest pain, he quickly shuts down his computer as well as MJ’s then leaves the office so they can head down to see the patient together.

MJ is just finishing off her own phone call and hanging up as he leaves the office. There’s a complete shift in her mood and demeanour from just five minutes ago so he decides to check in, “Everything okay?”

She’s just looking down at the phone still in her hand, she has a vice like grip on it and he notes a slight tremor to her hand. He steps forward and places a gentle, calming hand over hers to get her attention, “MJ?”

Her head snaps up to look at him and he feels her grip on her phone loosen slightly. “Um, yeah, sorry. Listen…I need to head down to the ER for a minute but I won’t be gone for long okay?”

“Yeah, do what you gotta do. Is uh- is everything okay?” He knows if it were an ER doctor or nurse looking for an internal medicine consult they would have bleeped them rather than call her on her personal cell phone so he’s concerned.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. Just go ahead and text me where you are then I’ll come meet you,” there’s an unidentifiable lilt to her tone, like she’s trying to reassure him and get him to back off to stop him inquiring further about what’s going on and it’s worrying him.

“MJ-“ he tries to find out what’s happening again but she slips her hand out from his grasp then turns to head for the elevator before he has the chance.

He’s left alone, worrying about her but he remembers that he has a patient to go and see so he decides to put his concerns about MJ to one side and focus on the job for now before he heads to the room the nurse on the phone had directed him to.

“She’s just ahead in there,” one of the nurses, he remembers her introducing herself as Liv once, directs him when he walks past the nurses’ bay.

“Good evening ma’am, I’m Dr Parker. Can I just double check I’m in the right room?” He greets when he pops his head around the door to the room.

“Yes, yes, I’m Sophia. The nurse told me you were coming.” The elderly woman in the bed gestures for him to come in.

He walks into the room, closing the door behind him and comes to stand on the right side of her bed, “It’s lovely to meet you ma’am.”

She looks him over  then with a wide smile, “Please, call me Sophia.” Then after a brief pause, “You look awfully young to be a doctor…”

Peter laughs nervously in return, he’s young and new on the job but some patients don’t like hearing that. “Yeah I get that a lot, I’m just baby-faced,” he can feel a blush spreading across his cheeks; he always gets like this when too much attention is on him, or more specifically- his appearance.

Sophia reaches a hand over to rub his arm, “That’s a good thing though, once you hit sixty you’ll look forty and everyone will be jealous and wish they were baby-faced like you.”

“So, uh, what seems to be the problem Sophia?” He clears his throat, trying to retain an ounce of professionalism and steer things back in the right direction.

Sophia tells him of how she’s been experiencing chest pain- though she takes pit stops during the history taking process to basically tell him her life story meaning it ends up taking way longer than it would normally. Overall the history taking process and examination ends up taking over an hour and in the end it turns out she just has acid reflux so he prescribes her an antacid before bidding her farewell.

As soon as he’s done with Sophia, the nurses ask him to see a few other patients since they already have him there, with a couple mumbling something amongst themselves about how they like having him around though he doesn’t think much of it.

He now sees why everyone always says that you should never point out when things are quiet in a hospital because he ends up seeing a total of about eight other patients in that ward alone which takes him nearly two hours. Fortunately it’s nothing major and he doesn’t have to deal with any crash calls by himself, it’s mostly just upping pain meds here, re-inserting a catheter there and prescribing meds for people so he handles it all with relative ease.

When he finally gets some down time he decides to go and get a coffee and a snack in the break room since it’s barely halfway through his night shift and he can feel himself already starting to crash. He makes a mental note to let MJ know she was right, as she always is, about him jinxing it earlier which reminds him- _MJ_.

She’s been gone for coming onto three hours and he’s really worried about her.

And as if he’s materialised her out of thin air through sheer power of thought, she suddenly walks into the break room and comes and settles next to him on the couch where he’s perched.

From the corner of his eye he briefly glances at her. She seems physically drained and her face looks slightly red and flushed, like she’s been crying but likely washed her face quickly before she came back to try and freshen up and hide it. He’s very familiar with what it looks like when someone’s been crying and is trying to hide it; his aunt May used to do it all the time to put on a brave face for him so as to not upset him when he was a kid.

He doesn’t immediately say anything, he wants to give her the time to process what she’s just been through the past few hours and open up to him, should she want to, in her own time. So they just sit there in silence for a while until it becomes unbearable for him- he has never been good with silence- so he has to say something, “MJ, are you okay?”

She inhales then exhales slowly and loudly then turns so she’s sat facing him, but she doesn’t say anything straight away. She puts her elbow out on the back of the couch and leans her head on it, “Yeah, yeah I’m okay.” She adds in a small, forced smile to make her lie believable.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Peter doesn’t like feeling helpless, he wants to help her in any way he can. He wants to take away her pain.

“No Peter, don’t worry. I appreciate you trying to help though,” this time the smile she throws his way actually seems genuine. It blooms across her face and reaches her eyes in a familiar way. “Sorry I left you alone for so long, that wasn’t cool.”

“It’s okay MJ, as long as everything’s good now?”

She smiles at him again but he can see that there are tears forming in her eyes, “Yeah, thanks Peter.” She immediately turns to look away from him, clearly trying to stop the tears from falling out.

“Here,” he says as he does the only thing he can think of in the moment to make her feel marginally better.

MJ turns back to him and looks down at the chocolate bar he’s holding out to her and she laughs. It’s so unexpected, to both him and her it seems, but so joy-filled that he can’t help but smile along with her.

“Thanks Parker,” she says as she takes it from his hand and rips it open before immediately digging in. She breaks off a piece then passes it back to him to get a piece as well.

They sit there in silence as he finishes off his coffee, passing the chocolate between them until MJ is bleeped, interrupting the tiny bit of tranquillity they had managed to achieve.

“Hey, uh, Peter?” MJ stops him by putting a hand out on his shoulder as they’re leaving the break-room.

“What’s up?”

“Thank you,” she squeezes his shoulder gently. “You’ve helped more than you know.”

“It’s no big deal,” he places a hand over where hers rests on his shoulder to squeeze it reassuringly. And it is no big deal, he didn’t really do anything besides offer her chocolate- a meaningless and ultimately useless gesture- but either way, despite the weird thing between them he still considers her a friend and this is the kind of thing friends do.

“Okay, let’s go. Duty calls you slouch.” She removes her hand from his shoulder then walks ahead of him, leaving him to chase after her as he always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol at the reactions to the last chapter...you all have a storm coming if you thought that was bad. Anywho, hope you enjoy this latest chapter. I am currently a bit swamped w uni work and deadlines so idk if I'll be able to post an update next Wed but I'll try my best to stick to the weekly updates but in case I miss next week's one that's the reason why. Comments and kudos are much appreciated as always xx


	6. Chapter 6

MJ had effectively been pulling double shifts both in her native Rheumatology ward and in the Gastroenterology ward during the ward's visiting hours so to say she was exhausted would be an understatement.

She had a gap in her work schedule, meaning she didn’t have work during the day and so she planned to spend the entire day holed up in her room catching up on much needed sleep till it was time for her scheduled daily hospital visit in the evening.

And she’d been doing just that, coming up on nine hours straight of sleep- something she hadn’t had since she was like ten years old probably- when Betty burst into her room, waking her.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Betty greets with an overly sweet tone, crossing over to her window to open the blinds and let natural light filter into the previously darkened room.

MJ just groans and throws a pillow over her head, mumbling a barely audible, “Fuck off,” to her well-meaning, way too cheery considering the likely early hour, roommate.

Betty either doesn’t hear MJ’s dismissal or chooses to ignore it entirely, and comes to lie beside MJ on the unoccupied side of the bed before gently lifting the pillow off her. “Hi,” she whispers, their faces only inches apart.

“I love you but it is way too early, so I must repeat-  _fuck off_ ,” she says with a small smile to take away the bite of her words.

Betty only smiles fondly at her, “It’s 11am.”

“It’s my day off!” MJ protests, burrowing into her pillow to try and fall back asleep. At Betty’s concerned look she sighs then elaborates her tone gentler this time, “I’m just really tired between work and everything and I wanted to catch up on sleep today before I go back to see him again tonight.”

Betty reaches a hand across the small gap between them and holds MJ’s hand in hers and wordlessly rubs her knuckles gently, encouragingly.

MJ feels tears welling up in her eyes and she rolls her eyes at how emotional she’s been recently; this is ridiculous. “I’m just tired. It’s not like before- I don’t need you to make sure I get out of bed and look after myself, Betty.” She realises how dismissive her words sound so she softens her tone, “I promise I’m okay.” And she holds her hand tighter in hers to reassure her.

Betty looks over her for a moment, face serious, eyes scanning her face and facial expressions to a micro level in search of clues to the contrary but when she doesn’t find any clear indications that MJ is lying to her, the serious, concentrated expression is replaced by her previous lighter, more smiley one. “I was thinking maybe you could come out for brunch slash lunch with me so you can meet Ned. I don’t think it’s healthy for you to stay at home by yourself all day, you’ll just be stuck in your head all day.”

MJ scoffs, “I was planning to sleep all day before you rudely interrupted me,  _actually_ \- wait, who’s Ned?”

“My boyfriend,” she responds in a sing-songy, overly excited tone as a huge grin breaks out on her face at the mere mention of her new relationship status.

MJ releases Betty’s hand to sit up, leaning her back against the headboard. Betty shifts her position so her head is resting near the foot of the bed, with her feet pressing against the headboard so her and MJ can face each other as they continue their conversation.

“Boyfriend?” MJ questions curiously, eyebrows raised.

“I told you about him a while back when we’d just started seeing each other,” Betty clarifies. She barely gives MJ enough time to recount the conversation in question before she carries on, “We’ve been official for a bit and I’m ready to introduce him to you now. Meeting you will probably be good practice for meeting my dad when the time comes.”

MJ laughs sarcastically at the dig about her supposedly intimidating personality- at least according to Betty’s college boyfriend who’d claimed meeting MJ was scarier than meeting Betty’s parents. “I’m not coming,” MJ says with a pout.

“Oh come on, I was just kidding about you being more intimidating than my dad.”

“One- you weren’t kidding, shut up. And two- I meant I’m not going because I don’t wanna third wheel you and your boyfriend on your brunch date. It’s a no from me dog.”

Betty pouts dramatically, “Please MJ. Plus Ned is bringing his best friend slash roommate too, so you won’t be third wheeling.”

“Is this some thinly veiled attempt to set me up with his roommate? Because if so I’m  _definitely_  not going,” MJ crosses her arms to punctuate the finality of her words. She’s not interested in dating or anything romantic right now. She has too much on her plate between work and everything else. Plus, she’s also maybe currently harbouring feelings for a certain person right now, but it’s the being busy with residency and life in general stuff that factors into her lack of interest in romantic pursuits the most. Definitely not the other thing.

When she looks at Betty she can tell that she’s doing her best to stifle a smile, which is weird and suspicious but before she can question her on what the hell is so funny Betty speaks up to reassure her, “No, no. This isn’t some weird match-making thing I promise. Ned and I just wanna start introducing the other to our friends and today was a good day because you’re off and his roommate doesn’t have work either.”

MJ eyes her dubiously, still not entirely trusting that there isn’t some hidden agenda in this invitation.

Betty huffs at her friend’s distrusting nature. “I pinkie promise that I won't try and set you up with Ned’s roommate,” and she sits up to reach her hand forward towards her so they can link pinkies.

MJ eyes her with eyes narrowed to make it clear she’s still watching her closely but reaches her own hand, pinkie outstretched, forward all the same. “Fine,” she agrees eventually with a defeated sigh.

After completing their pinkie promise Betty brings her hands together to briefly clap them excitedly. “Yay! Okay- we’re meeting them at 12 so you might wanna shower and get ready like, right now.”

“Betty, what the fu-” MJ tries to protest but Betty is already halfway out of her bedroom, leaving her alone to get ready.

She doesn’t bother to make her bed and curses Betty a few times in her head as she starts the process of getting ready for this impromptu brunch.

 

* * *

 

“Where are we going again?” Peter questions as he trails slightly behind Ned. He’s still mostly half asleep, having been dragged out of bed by his roommate barely half an hour earlier and shoved into the shower to come to this brunch.

He was planning on spending the majority of his day off resting up and catching up on much needed sleep before he switched back to working nights, but then Ned had woken him up asking him to come to this brunch thing to meet his new girlfriend whom Ned had been talking about relentlessly, and because of how happy and excited Ned seemed about this new relationship Peter had found that he couldn’t say no to the invitation no matter how tempting staying in bed all day might have been.

“The Breakfast Club,” Ned answers. “The restaurant obviously, not the John Hughes movie.”

“I didn’t think we were going to the movie,” Peter jokes. He notices the nervous energy radiating off Ned so quickens his pace so he’s walking side by side with Ned and can nudge him gently with his elbow, “Dude, why are you so nervous?”

“I don’t know man, Betty said her roommate can be kinda scary.”

“Betty was probably joking. Do you know anything else about this roommate?”

Ned snorts slightly, “Nope, Betty wouldn’t tell me anything about her, not even her name, which is what’s making me so nervous.”

“What?” Peter questions, confused.

They arrive at the restaurant around the same time so Ned doesn’t get the chance to answer. “There they are,” he says pointing to a beautiful blonde woman who’s exactly Ned’s type and who they assume is her roommate who sits opposite Betty facing away from the door and doesn’t bother to turn to face them when Betty points towards the door, pointing them out to her.

Peter’s steps halt as he realises why Betty looks so familiar to him, and why the person sat opposite her looks so familiar even when he can’t see her face. He has everything about her memorised in fine detail; he’d recognise her from any distance away regardless of whether she was facing him or not.

“Ned-“ he tries to discreetly whisper to his best friend but Ned is already jogging to the corner booth to embrace Betty who all but jumps out of her seat to greet her boyfriend. They exchange a few lingering kisses and are pulling apart by the time Peter joins the trio at the table.

“Hi, MJ’s friend Peter,” Betty greets, her eyes twinkling with laughter at a joke only she is in on clearly.

Peter just shakes his head, he hadn’t considered that Ned’s Betty was also MJ’s Betty given that Betty is a relatively common name and New York City has a population of nearly nine million people. And from the grin plastered on Betty’s face right now he figures that she’d purposefully withheld details about her roommate from Ned.

“Betty,” Peter deadpans slightly bemused. He can see the humour in how she has set them up, he supposes.

He turns away from Betty to face MJ, who doesn’t seem as amused by her roommate’s antics as she is currently staring daggers at Betty and mouthing something he can’t quite make out. Her hair is put into two French plaits and she looks… _adorable_ , which is an adjective he wouldn’t have previously associated with MJ but it makes sense somehow.

“Hi, MJ,” he greets a little too excitedly considering he saw her just last night but in all fairness to him, she’d run off almost immediately at the later than usual end of their shift mumbling something about how she was late for something before they said their goodbyes.

MJ stops silently threatening Betty to greet him with a cool, “Sup, second best,” as she rests her chin on the palm of her hand. Her angry expression from before that she was watching Betty with sort of melts and gives way to a lighter one, there’s even a hint of a smile on her face as she watches him. And because he can’t help but smile whenever she does, he finds himself smiling back at her as they hold sustained eye contact.

Their spell is broken by Ned speaking up suddenly, the confusion in his voice quite clear, “Wait- do you all know each other?” Peter can tell he’s likely feeling slightly left out right now.

“Well, I’ve only met Peter once briefly,” Betty answers. She unfortunately doesn’t stop there, “But MJ and Peter here-“

Peter takes that as his cue to interject before she says something that’ll make him turn crimson red in embarrassment whilst everyone else just laughs at him, “We work together! This is MJ- Doctor Jones, I’ve probably mentioned her before.” He rushes the words out as he desperately eyes Ned. Ned knows  _all_  about MJ, Peter’s hope is that he doesn’t divulge just how much he knows about her and instead takes mercy on Peter to just agree that yes, Peter has likely mentioned her only off-handedly rather than on a daily basis like he has done for the past seven months since they initially slept with each other.

“Oh  _MJ_ , yeah!” Ned mercifully goes along with it. “Betty hadn’t told me anything about you sorry, so I didn’t know you’re Peter’s co-worker that he talks about all the time.”

Peter turns to Ned incredulously, silently pleading him to stop.

“I mean...he’s mentioned you only like a couple of times or  _something_ ,” Ned rushes to correct belatedly. Peter can already feel the slight rush of blood to his face.

MJ turns to look at Peter with her eyebrows raised which only spells trouble. But she must decide to file that bit of information for later as she just reaches the hand she’s not currently leant on forward to shake Ned’s hand. "Nice to meet you."

“Oh I’m more of a hug kind of person,” Ned dismisses her outstretched hand.

Peter opens his mouth to warn his friend that MJ is not the biggest fan of such physical contact unless she’s the one initiating it, when it’s on her terms but it’s too late as Ned bends down slightly to give her an awkward side-on hug.

“I’m not really a hug person but I’ll let that slide,” MJ says with a wink which causes Ned to laugh.

The atmosphere is much more relaxed after that as Ned and Betty settle next to each other on the opposite end of the booth to MJ and Peter. They mostly make small talk that consists of Ned and MJ getting to know each other, as well as Betty asking Peter about himself since they “didn’t really get the chance to get to know each other last time we met” as said by Betty in a teasing manner, eyes twinkling in amusement as Peter blushes furiously.

When their food arrives, the group chatter mostly dies down with Ned and Betty now whispering between the two of them whilst him and MJ just eat in silence.

Ned and Betty’s whispering and giggling, and at some points feeding each other gets to be a bit much so Peter decides to try and make conversation with MJ.

“Hey,” he says quietly, nudging her with his elbow. “Can I try a bit of your French toast?” He doesn’t genuinely want to try some of her French toast considering she only has about a bite or two’s worth of food left on her plate, it’s more just an ice breaker of sorts.

“No.” MJ says it so simply and he can tell she’s deadly serious which is unsurprising, one of the many things he’s learnt about MJ over the past half a year plus is that she does  _not_  share food.

“Aw c’mon MJ, I’ll let you have a bit of my cream cheese and salmon bagel?”

She throws a blueberry from her plate at him and it hits the side of his face to which he dramatically winces like it caused him genuine pain. “I’m vegetarian and you know that, Doctor dopey.”

“That nickname is not really your best work,” he teases in return.

“I’m tired, shut up. I’d be sleeping if Betty hadn’t dragged me here.” She yawns as if on cue to illustrate her exhaustion.

He sighs in commiseration, “Yeah tell me about it.” And later he’ll blame this aforementioned exhaustion for his bravery slash stupidity that makes him, after checking that Ned and Betty are caught up in their own little world affording them a little bit of privacy, carry on speaking, “Though I suppose you’re likely more tired than I am. Because of, uh, everything that’s been happening with you and all…”

And he is truly fishing for information here. Since their night shift a few weeks back he has noticed how she stays at the hospital a little longer after their shifts when they’re on days or will disappear during their breaks to some unknown location when they’d normally eat together during their night shifts. He’s also noticed that she seems beyond tired, not just in the usual overworked first year resident who does all the ward grunt work type of way like him and the other residents, but in a bone weary kind of way. Her exhaustion seems to go beyond the physical, which she most certainly is with the bags beneath her eyes being more pronounced than usual, but she also seems emotionally drained. Whilst she is still as sharp and as focused as ever when they’re working, looking after patients, whenever he has a moment alone with her when they’re riding the elevator to another department or when they’re completing paperwork in the office, he notices how she seems distant and more detached than usual.

He’s worried about her but anytime he tries to question her about where it is she goes off to whenever she has a free moment, or when he tries to find out if everything is okay with her, or even tries to reassure her that he’s there for her should she need his help, she brushes him off and tells him she’s fine and doesn’t need his help. But he can tell she’s putting on a front, you don’t work closely with someone for over eighty hours a week for seven months without picking up a few things here and there, without being able to read them and pick up on their cues.

“Did you two just invite us here so you’d have an audience whilst you make out?” she eventually says to Ned and Betty though she still maintains eye contact with Peter as she speaks.

There is a pleading undertone to the look she gives him- “ _not now_ ” her eyes tell him; but when? It’s been four weeks of this and she has yet to confide in him or even hint at whatever is going on with her. Regardless of the whole sleeping with each other then the almost moment outside the bar four months ago now, he likes to think that they’re friends. Close friends in fact, and is that not what friends do? Confide in each other?

Putting aside his own feelings of hurt at her refusal to just  _talk_  to him, he’s mostly just worried about her. And it is killing him that he can’t help her, and wouldn’t even know where to start to provide her with the necessary support and help.

Betty giggles slightly at MJ’s words, causing MJ to break away from their stare to face the overly-affectionate couple.

“Sorry MJ, we’ll stop I promise.” To prove her words she unwinds her arms from where they were wrapped around Ned’s neck and scoots away from him slightly so she’s not basically in his lap. “Peter, how about you, Ned and I get some Bloody Marys?”

Peter doesn’t miss how that offer isn’t extended to MJ; so his observation of MJ not drinking wasn’t unfounded, huh. “Uh, actually I’m gonna head back I’m so sorry. I’ve just remembered I have this online course on intensive care to finish, and just adult chores I’ve been putting off because of work.” It’s not a complete lie, he has a growing pile of laundry that’s waiting for him back at the apartment.

Betty pouts disappointedly.

“But we should hang out again!” He rushes to placate. “I’ll see when I have time off and you guys should come to our place and I’ll cook us all dinner. I can make amazing pasta in spite of my aunt,” he adds with a small, slightly forced laugh.

“That sounds nice, right MJ?” Betty says and she gives a very pointed look to MJ though Peter is likely imagining all the looks that have been exchanged between the pair over the course of this brunch.

MJ turns back to look at him before speaking, “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

The pair stare at each other for a prolonged moment, with no words exchanged until their stare is again broken by a waitress, who was likely hailed over by either Ned or Betty at some point, placing the bill on their table right by Peter.

Peter rushes to cover the whole bill before anyone can protest.

He bids his farewells as everyone else complains about him taking it upon himself to pay their bill then leaves, pausing for a moment to take out his phone and find out how to get back to their place from here outside the restaurant.

As he’s scrutinising the map on his phone, he feels a gentle tap to the shoulder.

“Thought you could just leave me alone to third wheel them, huh?” MJ asks accusingly.

Peter just laughs at her words but doesn’t respond.

They stand there is silence for a stretch of time. He should really start heading home- order an Uber, walk to the nearest subway station, hail a cab,  _anything_. But he finds himself frozen at the spot, unsure why he isn’t heading home by now.

“MJ-”

“Look Peter-” the two of them start to speak at the same time.

Peter puts a hand out, silently gesturing for her to go first.

“I just,” she pauses and exhales loudly, clearly gathering her words. “I want you to know that you don’t need to worry so much about me, okay? There’s stuff happening but I’m dealing with it on my own right now, and I’ll come to you when I’m r- when I  _need_  to.”

“Okay…”

“I appreciate your concern, I do, but you don’t need to worry okay?”

Somehow Peter isn’t entirely convinced by her mostly empty reassurances but he respects people’s boundaries, she doesn’t want to talk about whatever is going on with her so he’ll stop prying. He hears the underlying message loud and clear, but he’ll still be there for her as her friend and co-worker, close-by and keeping an eye on her so he’s right there if and when she does need him.

“Sure MJ. Just know that I’m here for you should you need,” he says with a small smile. “As your friend,” he adds on as an after thought to put her more at ease.

“Thanks, Peter,” she says with a half-sad smile.

Then she does something completely unexpected by stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck in a tentative hug.

He feels her relax in his arms in the way her body sags against his in seeming relief as she exhales a puff of air out against his neck where her head is buried, a weight seemingly lifted off her. This is the least tense he’s seen her look in a while. But all too quickly she soon pulls away from the hug and takes a large step back from him, almost as if she’s embarrassed for seeking out physical comfort.

“See you for nights starting tomorrow, slowpoke,” she hurriedly says, and she’s already turned to walk away towards her apartment in the opposite direction to where he’s going before he has the chance to say anything back to her.

He’s left standing there dumbfounded by the simple physical contact which she initiated, but at the same time also worried about whatever is going on with her. He stands there for a moment before he eventually comes back into himself and finally starts making his way back home where his laundry awaits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm so sorry for the long break, I was busy with uni for a bit but I have some free time now and I'm determined to finish up my current on-going fics quickly bc I have new ones I've started working on so we should be back to the regular weds upload schedule. Thank you to everyone who sent messages to my tumblr and cc during my writing hiatus showing excitement for the next installment of this fic, it was really encouraging and though it's not the smut many of you anons wanted lol, I hope you still enjoyed this. And get excited for next Weds bc in chap 7 you'll finally be getting answers- someone, I won't say who, has correctly guessed what's going on w MJ btw (+ something else *wink*). Okay sorry to ramble, hope you enjoyed and as always, comments and kudos are much appreciated!!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @tvfanatic97-2, and on twitter @dayaspsychic xx


	7. Chapter 7

Peter gets to work a whole half an hour before they’re due to start- almost certainly a new record for him. He trudges through the sprawling halls of the hospital to get to his department, feeling half dead as is the norm for him now. He was just getting used to being on night shifts when his rota switch came about, meaning he’s back onto day shifts again now. With nearly nine months behind him on the job, he thought he’d already be used to constantly having to alter his internal clock but it still wreaks a heavy toll on him physically even now.

The exhaustion is now just part and parcel of being a resident though, so he doesn’t pay much mind to it. This morning, as well as being tired he’s feeling overwhelmingly nervous with the weight of the small box in his backpack weighing his shoulders down despite the fact that it’s likely only a couple hundred grams in weight, and there are definitely heavier items in his bag.

It’s a small wooden box he’d had made by a woodworker Peter would see selling his work on a street corner on his way in to work; it contains a range of Japanese green teas he’d ordered online. He is personally more of a coffee person himself, but it was MJ’s birthday over their few days off as they transitioned from nights back to days and today will be the first time he’s seeing her since they last worked together.

He’s nervous because MJ is decidedly _not_ a birthday person- something she’d made very clear to him over the time they’ve known each other. She hasn’t told him why exactly, but she’d told him how she never celebrates her birthday apart from having dinner with her roommate and best friend Betty on the day _after_ her birthday but nothing on the actual day.

She never explicitly mentioned anything about being anti-birthday presents so he figures this is okay, especially seeing as it is three days after her birthday so he could just play it of as a “this made me think of you” present rather than a birthday present if it turns out she _is_ against birthday presents. He’s aware that he’s taking a risk in giving her a gift she may very well reject and throw back in his face, but it is- or _was_ \- her birthday and he can’t not gift her with something.

Plus he doesn’t like feeling as helpless as he’s felt over the past six or so weeks unable to help her with whatever is going on in her personal life. He knows this isn’t about him, it’s about how she feels she can best deal with what’s going on and that means not involving him which he completely respects. But he can’t help this burden of responsibility he feels, something which has plagued him since he was a young boy according to his aunt, where he has incessant need to make the people around him feel better and help in any way he can. His ex-girlfriend had called it a knight in shining armour complex, something she’d initially loved about him but had thrown back in his face when the relationship turned sour.

MJ asked him to give her a bit of space and to stop prying into her personal life to get to the root cause of the issue, and again, he respects that. He just figured that this might at least make things easier for her as it ensures she has an additional supply of caffeine to help her through her long days, or at the very least he hopes it’ll make her smile- something he sees her do very little nowadays since she got that damning phone call.

As he gets to the locker room and starts putting his belongings away he attempts to reassure himself that this is okay, it is just a token of appreciation of sorts from one co-worker/friend to another. He can just give it to her almost wordlessly without making a huge deal out of it and subsequently making her uncomfortable. It’ll be fine. _This is fine_.

It is a mantra he repeats over and over in his head as he makes his way to the break room where she’ll likely have just gotten into work and will just be starting on making her morning cup of green tea to start the day. He may or may not have timed his arrival this morning so he could give her the box of tea so she could try some right then and there; it’s whatever.

To his surprise when he gets into the breakroom she isn’t there, which is strange because MJ is a creature of habit. She’s very strict about time keeping, especially when it comes to work because despite her complaints about the long, stressful hours he knows how at home she feels in the hospital caring for patients. But he just dismisses it as her having chosen to have a lie in today, which is for the best given how tired she’s seemed recently.

So Peter decides to go to the hospital cafeteria to buy some breakfast since coming in this early today meant he didn’t get the chance to eat breakfast with Ned the way they’ve started doing most mornings recently since Ned now goes to sunrise yoga with Betty. He tucks the wooden box at the back of a break room cupboard where he hopes some nosy co-worker won’t find it and think it’s a gift for the department before running back downstairs.

His leg is shaking impatiently the whole time he waits in line to buy a bagel and as he pays for it as he is anxious to get back up to the breakroom so he can give the gift to MJ before she makes her green tea using her own tea bags.

Once he’s paid for the bagel and coffee he runs up five flights of stairs back to the breakroom, too impatient to wait for the elevator, but when he gets there there’s still no MJ in sight which is really strange. Again he dismisses it, grabbing the previously tucked away wooden box before settling down to both catch his breath seeing as he ran up all those stairs, and to have his bagel and coffee.

He tries to not watch the door, he really does, but he finds himself perking up each time it opens up only to deflate when it turns out to be a nurse who was on the night shift who forgot her hat, or just one of the other residents coming into work.

Eventually it’s five minutes until their ward round is due to start and all the first year residents are gathered in the break room along with the third year resident looking after them on this ward, Felicia Hardy, but with no MJ.

Everyone makes small talk as they wait for the attending to arrive to start rounding, which Peter tries his best to pay attention to but he can’t focus as he is mostly paying attention to the door to see if MJ comes in.

Flash must notice after Peter turns to look at the door one too many times whilst he’s telling a story about- well, Peter doesn’t really remember about what to be honest. But Flash gets pissed off at how distracted the normally attentive Peter is being and calls him out on it, “Looking for your girlfriend? I thought you guys would have come in together to be honest.”

Peter stutters, he didn’t realise he was being that obvious in searching for MJ amongst the crowd. “I’m not, uh, she’s not my-” he seems incapable of forming a full sentence, still too caught up in thinking about MJ.

He doesn’t even really try to come up with something more coherent, instead making excuses about how he needs to go to his locker really quickly before running out of the breakroom. MJ is either going to be Peter-level late or just isn’t coming so there’s no point in him holding onto the box of tea so he may as well put it back.

By the time he’s put the box away in his locker and gotten back to the breakroom, the residents are stood outside with Dr Morita addressing them so he quietly rushes to join the group as inconspicuously as he can manage.

Almost immediately he notes how MJ is still absent but decides to retain his focus on work and what Dr Morita and Felicia are currently telling the group as they start to head to the first patient’s bed to officially start the weekly attending ward round.

The ward round is a drag.

He hadn’t realised how much his little competitions with MJ helped to make time fly by during the lengthy ward rounds. Without her there to keep him on his toes, to push him to try and outperform her- no matter how futile- it’s not as exciting. And that’s not to say he finds the ward round boring or hates it, because he loves seeing patients and he loves his job more than probably anything else, but he reverts back to how he was as a med student. He participates when he’s called upon mostly by Felicia but he doesn’t go out of his way to volunteer to do anything, not now when he doesn’t have MJ to egg him on. It’s quite pathetic actually.

And he only goes on to exhibit further pathetic behaviour as the day goes on when he’s paired off with Cindy to carry out ward  jobs. Cindy does her best to try and make small talk and to banter with him but he’s not very receptive. He mostly just wants to keep his head down and focus on work, and it’s not because he’s moping because MJ isn’t here. He’s not.

He’s _totally_ moping.

He changes his mind- it’s not “quite pathetic”, it’s _incredibly_ pathetic how much he’d gotten used to seeing MJ on a near daily basis and working with her. Since he’s being entirely honest with himself, he can admit that maybe seeing MJ had become the best part of his day no matter how drained he was feeling or how stressful work was. But the being honest with himself thing ends before he starts to unpack the reasoning behind why he considers seeing MJ to be the best part of most of his days; he’s not quite there yet.

The work day as a whole drags on, each minute passing by so painfully slowly. It’s worsened by the fact that it’s a relatively slow day on the ward, surprisingly, meaning most of the day is spent chasing up results, completing paperwork, forming care plans with the multi-disciplinary team and so on- all jobs that mean he spends less time seeing patients and more time alone with Cindy as she unsuccessfully tries to socialise with him which isn’t her fault at all, it’s all him.

He painfully manages to make it through the rest of the day without incident, and he hopes Cindy chalks his behaviour up to exhaustion.

He’s embarrassed about how unwittingly rude he was to her and resolves to buy her a red velvet cupcake from the bakery he’s heard her mention a few times as a way to apologise to her as he packs up his belongings, stuffing the wooden tea box into the bottom of his back pack before he bikes back home.

When he gets home it’s empty and quiet meaning Ned is likely either at Betty’s or out somewhere so he toes off his shoes and removes his work clothes so he can wash the smell of the hospital off him.

Once he’s showered and he’s warming up leftovers to have for dinner, he shoots off a quick text to MJ asking if she’s okay. It’s the third text he’s sent her today thus far since she didn’t show up- the first was teasing her for being late whilst he was early for once, the second was jokingly asking if she’d contracted norovirus from the patient who was on the ward last week, and this final one he sends simply asks if she’s okay.

All of them go unanswered and unread, even after he eats his dinner and watches a couple of episode of ‘Big Mouth’ on Netflix to de-stress after a long day. They remain unanswered as he does a bit of reading for his upcoming assessment- who knew exams and tests don’t end when you leave school?

At around 10:00pm he decides to call it a night and go to bed. He checks his phone one last time, to ensure his alarm is set for the correct time and to check if MJ has responded.

As he starts to drift off the only thing on his mind is MJ.

 

* * *

 

MJ slowly walks out of the filthy bathroom of the random bar she is in, pausing to steady herself by leaning against a nearby wall. She’s not black out drunk or anything, only having had a few drinks, but her body isn’t used to the alcohol.

As she takes a moment to compose herself, and try to regain a bit of her equilibrium no matter how pointless that may be with the alcohol that is pumping through her veins, she surveys her surroundings. There aren’t many people in this bar, and of the few that  are in here the age demographic doesn’t quite match up to her except for a handful of people, but it’s what was closest to the funeral home.

She takes a deep breath in and out, smooths the skirt of the black dress she is wearing down to try and make herself look better than she is currently feeling before she pushes off the wall to head back to the bar.

She settles into the stool she was previously occupying before calling the bartender over to her again with a slight wave and a smile. “Can I get another tequila shot, please?”

The bartender politely nods and smiles before preparing her drink.

Given that it’s a Tuesday around 9:00pm, it’s not that busy currently so the bartender has her drink ready relatively quickly. He comes to hand it off to her with a napkin and a salt shaker, then he hands her a slice of lime. He gives her one final smile before he walks off to see to another patron.

As he walks away from her, MJ takes the time to properly look him over. Before she’d mostly been concerned with getting as drunk as possible as quickly as possible to forget about today and everyday for the past six weeks, so hadn’t even bothered to look at the bartender as anything more than someone to serve her drinks and help her achieve this goal. Now though, she takes the time to carefully appraise him noting that he’s pretty tall- likely taller than her- has a few tattoos on his fairly pronounced biceps that are peeking out from the mustard top he’s wearing which nicely complements his complexion.

She is desperately in search of a distraction in the form of unhealthy coping mechanisms and relents that he is objectively good looking and yet, something is not quite clicking. There is no spark or whatever other cliché she could use to describe how she just doesn’t feel a desire to pursue him despite noting how good looking he is.

MJ downs her shot quickly before she turns in her seat so she can look over other people in the bar. The alcohol in her system is what’s to blame for her train of thought- she has already done something she never does with getting drunk, why not carry that on by hooking up with a stranger? Her eyes scan over the bar and the few people that seem to be within an acceptable age range for her are all good looking enough, enough to serve her purpose seeing as she’s not exactly searching for someone who will ask for her hand in marriage.

All of them are perfectly- serviceable, but they are just not what she’s really looking for. None of them are slightly shorter than her, brown curly haired doctors that she works with who are adored by all patients and colleagues alike that she thinks about on such a regular basis it’s bordering on obsession at this point- and _yeah_ …she decides to give up on her search and turns back around. She distractedly eats a few of the peanuts near her, ignoring the voice in her head that reminds her of all the unknown hands that have likely been in the bowl fondling the peanuts.

She takes her phone out and aimlessly browses over some social media apps, pointedly ignoring the  concerned texts from Betty and Peter, as well as Facebook messages from distant relatives who’d likely heard the news and were offering some bullshit empty condolences to her despite the fact that none of them had ever bothered to check in or help before things had gotten to this point. Where were their kind words and offers to help in any way they can when they’d been evicted from their home when she was in eighth grade, or when social services had briefly taken her away from home in ninth grade? They’re all just saying these things now to make themselves feel better and it pisses her off.

She shakes her head in an attempt to rid herself of those unwanted thoughts about her past. She needs to keep focusing on other things, to keep distracting herself like she’s been doing since she left the funeral service. So before she can stop herself she opens Google Maps and looks through her history to see all her previous destinations.

Normally she’d be freaked out about the digital copy of her whereabouts but currently she is a woman on a mission. She vaguely remembers putting his address into her google maps when they first met and she hopes his address is still saved.

“Yes!” she exclaims out loud when she finds it before she catches herself. Luckily no one really turns to look at her to see what’s so exciting, they’re masters of minding their own business being New Yorkers and all.

She selects the address and sees that she’s a bit too far from his place, farther than would be reasonable to pretend she was just in the neighbourhood or some other lame excuse- but then again, Peter doesn’t know where she’s been so she could easily say she was in the neighbourhood regardless.

She smiles at the bartender to get him to come over to her so she can pay her tab before she changes her mind, then before she knows it she’s sat in the back of an Uber on her way to Peter’s.

It’s not until she has pressed the buzzer, Peter has let her in, she’s taken the elevator up and is waiting outside their front door for him to open up that doubt creeps in. Why is she here? It’s certainly not for his friendly advice and support, no matter how much she’d told herself that lie in the Uber on the way over.

Peter opens the door before she has the chance to decide that actually- she should go home.

“MJ!” he seems really pleased to see her but it’s only brief as he looks her over and almost instantly figures out that she’s not entirely sober.

He automatically kicks into action ushering her into the apartment to sit on the couch before helping her take off her heels. He leaves her alone for a second then comes back with a large glass of water and a plate with a few slices of toast.

“Here have this,” he says as he hands the bread and water off to her.

She greedily gulps the entire glass of water down and eats most of the toast before pausing to take a breath; she already feels so much better.

“I’d have given you some coffee but I know you’re not really a coffee person,” he says with a small smile as he sits on the arm chair perpendicular to her.

She bites back her retort about how since she’s doing loads of things she normally wouldn’t today she’d probably drink the coffee if he made her some. Instead all she comes out with is, “Thanks,” between bites of toast.

Eventually she finishes the toast then she sits back, resting her head on the couch as Peter gets up to take the now empty plate and cup to the kitchen.

“Do you want more toast? Or I could make you something else to eat?” He calls from the kitchen.

“Um, no thanks just more water is fine.”

Peter brings her back the now refilled large glass of water then sits back in the armchair and they just sit in silence for a while. She really appreciates that he doesn’t immediately push her to reveal her reasons for coming and just lets her be.

Eventually she feels like she’s taking advantage of his kindness and like she should explain her presence, “I was, uh, in the neighbourhood and thought I’d drop by to say hi.” The blatant lie sounds pretty pathetic to her ears. “I figured you’d have missed me at work today, huh slowpoke?”

Peter gives a small, polite laugh at her terrible attempt to be light-hearted but doesn’t say anything else. He doesn’t ask her why she wasn’t at work today or what she was supposedly doing in the neighbourhood.

She exhales loudly after a long stretch of silence. “So I’m a bit soberer now, but um, is it okay if I stay here tonight?” the question is directed at her lap as she is too embarrassed to look at him.

“Sure MJ, you can take my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch,” he responds easily, no questions asked.

And maybe she’s not as sober as she thought she was because that’s the only explanation for why she says, “Peter we’ve literally had sex before I think we can handle sharing a bed.”

Peter sputters slightly and she can see the blush that blooms across his face even from where she is, which is endearing as well as funny so she has to try her best to stifle her laugh.

“Fine,” he agrees.

They both stay in place for a while longer, it could be minutes or it could be hours, as she finishes the rest of her water then they get up to head to his bedroom with Peter walking ahead of her whilst she trails behind him for once.

He leads her to his bedroom and fishes a pair of boxers and a t-shirt out of a drawer, “Here you can wear these to sleep. I don’t have a spare toothbrush I’m sorry, but Betty left make up wipes in our bathroom you can use if you, you know, if you need to…” He makes a vague hand gesture over his face.

She gratefully accepts the clothes before going to the bathroom as directed by him. Once she’s there she pees, then uses the makeup wipes to remove the mascara along with the concealer she’d put on to cover her eye bags before splashing some cold water over her face. She finally changes out of the uncomfortable dress she’d been in all day into the way more comfortable boxers and t-shirt. She tries to ignore how much the t-shirt smells like him, she fails.

When she goes back to his bedroom she finds it empty but he’s untucked the covers and switched off the main light and switched on the bedside lamps instead. She takes a look around the room, it is minimally decorated and is relatively tidy. She looks at the picture of him and a woman that she assumes is his aunt that sits beside an alarm clock with bright red letters that read “23:10” on the bedside table. She then takes the liberty of getting into his bed when she realises how nosy she’s being.

As she’s trying to get comfortable Peter comes back into the room. “You’re on my side,” he jokes when he leans over to place a filled glass of water and some Advil on the bedside table closest to her.

“How can you have a side when you don’t share this bed with anyone?”

“Fair point,” he concedes as he gets into bed on the other side, lying right on the edge to ensure there is a respectable distance between them. What a dork- a respectful, gentlemanly dork- but a dork all the same.

“Goodnight MJ,” he says after a moment as he turns to face away from her before reaching over to switch off the lamp on his side.

She does the same then lies on her back facing the ceiling for a while.

Now that the alcohol has mostly left her system and she isn’t surrounded by the constant chatter of slightly tipsy bar patrons around her all that’s left is the silence. And in the silence her thoughts are the loudest, and she starts thinking about the day and about how tough the past few weeks have been, how it was a stark reminder of all those years as a teenager and how tough it’d been back then.

In the silence she finally feels the toll of the day and before she can get a hold of herself she breaks down and starts crying. It’s quiet cries to start with, but eventually her body starts to shake and along with it, the bed.

Soon enough Peter has switched the bedside lamp on his side back on and has turned around to face her. “MJ, hey. Hey, it’s okay,” his tone is gentle as he scoots over to her side, he does so slowly to give her the chance to tell him not to come closer if she’s not comfortable but she doesn’t stop him because she wants him to hold her, _needs it_.

Peter comes to lie beside her and he manoeuvres her so she’s now lying her head on his chest whilst he’s on his back, then he just allows her to cry for as long as she needs.

As long as she needs turns out to be quite a long time, nearly an hour based on the time she reads on the alarm clock in fact.

Peter doesn’t say anything once her cries subside, and instead just keeps rubbing soothing circles over her back and pressing kisses into her hair the same way he was doing the entire time she was crying.

It’s comforting and helps to put her slightly at ease so she can open up to him. “My dad died the day before yesterday,” she admits quietly into his chest.

“I’m really sorry for your loss MJ,” he says sympathetically.

“He’d been ill for the past few weeks and he was in hospital- _our_ hospital, actually. That’s where I’ve been going all this time, that’s what’s been happening.”

Peter continues to wordlessly rub her back soothingly which encourages her to keep on talking.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I know how worried you’ve been but he’s an alcoholic, has been since my mum died when I was twelve, and I don’t know…I was ashamed, and afraid that it might change the way you look at me.” She pauses to take a steadying breath, “I know that’s stupid and you wouldn’t because you’re like, the best person I’ve ever met but- he always gets in the way of everything important to me. Like he got fired for showing up to work drunk and so we couldn’t pay my private school tuition and I got kicked out and lost all my friends. I moved to a new public school and I was doing fine but one day he turned up to a parent-teacher conference drunk then after that everyone started looking at me differently- with _pity_ , like “aw poor MJ with the drunk dad” and I hated it. Even my boyfriend at the time broke up with me because I had “a lot going on” or some bullshit.” She laughs humourlessly. “That’s not even the half of the shit he did.”

“MJ-” Peter tries to speak.

She interrupts him as she carries on, “I got through the rest of high school with my head down determined to get good grades so I could get a scholarship and get the hell out of there and I managed to get into Harvard all by myself. Once I was there I told him I wanted nothing to do with him unless he got clean. I guess he just never got clean because I hadn’t spoken to him since the day I caught the bus to Harvard then suddenly I got the call saying he was in the ER since I was still his emergency contact. He had really bad cirrhosis and was getting support to keep him alive, but he still didn’t stop drinking even in hospital so they couldn’t get him a transplant. I just-” She pauses when she hears how shaky her voice sounds, she resists the urge to cry before carrying on, “I hate him so much for always choosing drinking, over his life…over _me_.”

And once it’s all out there, once she’s admitted the things that have plagued for years to another human being for the first time in her life she breaks down and starts crying, again. Peter has likely seen her cry more than even Betty has at this point.

Peter hugs her closer to his body and continues rubbing her back soothingly, whispering words of comfort against her temple. Just letting her cry it out as much as she needs to.

“God this is so embarrassing, I thought I was past my dad and all his shit and yet I’ve let him get in the way of everything, _again_ ,” she huffs once her cries have stopped.

“MJ, you’re allowed to feel everything you feel about your dad and his death. You’re allowed to be angry at him because his illness also affected you, you’re allowed to be sad that you’ve lost the only family you had left, that he never got better.” He says it with conviction. “I know you’re probably thinking that maybe if you hadn’t cut him out of your life he might have gotten clean or would still be alive but it’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for _his_ addiction, you were a child when your mum died and during your years in high school, so you shouldn’t have had to look after your dad.”

MJ sits up slightly so she can rest her head on the palm of her hand, leaning her weight on her elbow so she is now looking down at him.

“It’s not your fault,” he repeats more firmly. “I think-” he starts to say but he doesn’t get the chance to finish as MJ unceremoniously presses her lips against his in a searing kiss.

Peter gasps at the unexpected kiss, giving MJ the opportunity to deepen the kiss and she moves so she is now straddling his lying form whilst their lips are still connected.

He eventually breaks the kiss and places his hands on her shoulders to gently push her back so he can sit up and lean back against the headboard with her still in his lap. He looks over her face, still breathless from their kiss, as he tries to read her.

He moves his hands to either side of her face, each hand resting on each cheek so he’s effectively framing her face as he continues to watch her intently. He brings both his thumbs up to rub soothingly across her eyebrows once before returning his hands to their previous position, then gently, “Em…”

The single syllable conveys so much. It conveys the unspoken feelings between them, his concern and his confusion, his sadness at the unfortunate timing of all of this,  and it conveys the adoration he harbours.

She exhales shakily at the weight of it. “I’m completely sober I promise. I just, I wanna feel something, _anything._ Anything other than the anger and sadness I’m feeling right now.” She turns her head to kiss his open palm that’s still pressed against her cheek. “Please, Peter.”

One of his hands trails to wrap around the back of her neck so he can bring her face closer to his.

“Please,” she pleads again against his lips.

They kiss tenderly and languidly for what feels like eternity, as his hands lazily trail across every part of her, mapping the valleys and peaks of her body; trying to learn her using his sense of touch.

The movements of his hands over her body are slow and methodical, and leave her skin burning everywhere he touches. It’s exploratory, hesitant, and it borders on worshipful. He kisses and touches her with a reverence that makes her feel adored and cherished.

But it’s all _wrong_.

When she said she wants to feel anything other than the feelings related to her father’s death she didn’t mean whatever feelings he tries to communicate to her through his searing kisses and his addictive touch. She’s not ready to feel what his mouth cannot tell her just yet.

It’s not what she came here for so she gently pushes him onto his back then makes quick work of stripping off her borrowed t-shirt and boxers, then ridding him of his own pajamas so they are left bare before one another.

She then resumes their kissing except this time it’s much more desperate and there is an intensity to it, and she takes the lead like she had done what feels like a lifetime ago now.

She’s desperate for some kind of relief as they kiss roughly, grinding down onto him in search of friction. Peter, ever-thoughtful and generous, snakes a hand down to rub at the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs and she almost shutters right there.

“Do you like that?” he whispers the question whilst looking up at her, and what would normally be said with sexual confidence sounds like it’s asked to seek reassurance, to ensure that this is what she wants.

She nods sloppily, delirious with pleasure.

He crooks a finger, then another into her as he continues the motions of his thumb and she almost falls backwards before Peter uses his free hand to stop her free falling. He steadies her with a hand on the small of her back so she can straighten her back again and he looks up at her face as she’s lost in her pleasure.

“Do you want me to, uh…” he breathes out, still watching her fall apart.

She knows what he means but it falls too close to the realm of reverence they were in before and that’s not what she wants right now. With the way he’s looking up at her face, half with concentration and half with amazement, it’s all too much. It feels _wrong_ all over again.

“Stop, stop,” she requests breathlessly to which he immediately acquiesces, withdrawing his hand and leaning back to put some distance between them. He looks both hurt and concerned all at once, and she can see the flash of regret coming over him so she rushes out a, “Condom?”

He looks relieved then reaches over to a drawer of the bedside table to grab a foil package. She snatches it from him then rolls the condom onto him almost instantly and lowers herself down onto him.

She starts moving at her own pace above him and Peter simply watches, more than happy to let her take the reins. She makes the mistake of meeting his eyes and she sees a lot of unspoken feelings swirling in the pits of his eyes, feelings that she’s not ready to acknowledge so she stops moving. “Can we switch?” She asks and she’s already moving onto her back without waiting for a response.

Peter moves to lie over her and starts moving again but he’s still looking down at her with that _look_ so she screws her eyes shut and turns her head sideways so she’s not staring directly into his eyes.

He mercifully doesn’t beg her to open her eyes and look at him no matter how much he clearly wants her to and instead just keeps moving, following her requests to go “faster” and “harder” until they both stumble to their finish.

Peter collapses his weight on her to catch his breath for a moment. Once he can breathe slightly easier he presses a quick kiss to her neck where his head was just buried, then to the tip of her nose in a way that’s entirely too fond before he moves off her to go and dispose of the condom.

When he returns to the bedroom she takes her turn to go to the bathroom to pee and clean up. As she’s sat on the toilet she has a moment to catch her breath and think.

And that’s when regret hits her.

She feels awful and almost sick to her stomach. She’s the one who came here, who initiated this, and now she has likely ruined their friendship and working relationship forever. _Oh God_.

She finishes up on the toilet then puts on the dress she’d previously forgotten here in the bathroom. She makes her way to his living area as quietly as she can to find her discarded shoes, and her purse which is still on the coffee table.

She’s in the process of ordering an Uber when a voice interrupts her, “Michelle?”

He sounds so hurt and almost betrayed, and he’s never called her by her full first name before and it all just compounds onto her feelings of guilt and regret.

“Um, I should go. I’ve kept you up enough and I know you have work tomorrow so,” she mumbles almost to herself, unable to meet his eye.

Peter doesn’t say anything and when she looks up at him he’s just stood there watching her, expression unreadable which is slightly unsettling considering that Peter is basically an open book- his face is so emotive and she can always tell what he’s thinking and feeling. She suspects he’s likely doing it so she doesn’t feel guilty after the day she’s had because he’s so thoughtful and so considerate, always, and yet she continues to hurt him, _is_ hurting him right now.

Her thoughts almost make her want to put her phone and purse down, toe off her shoes and get into bed so she can sleep in his arms the way she so desperately wants to. But no, she needs to leave.

Between cremating her father and getting drunk for the first time ever today, things are a bit muddled in her head. She can’t tell what she wants independently of her drunken/emotional state, and she needs space to process and to think.

She also needs to give Peter space instead of stringing him along the way she’s done by sleeping with him after they’d agreed that it shouldn’t happen again. She doesn’t know what she wants when it comes to him, so she thinks it’d be a bad idea to stay, it might confuse the both of them.

So she sticks to her guts as she presses the “Order UberX” button.

“Well…see you at work, second best,” she says sadly before hurriedly leaving his apartment before he has the chance to say anything back to her, to say something that might convince her to stay and give into the pull that’s been there for the past few months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii...I feel like I unintentionally built MJ's plot w her dad up to be more mysterious than what it really was and so if you're feeling a little underwhelmed I'm sorry (I'd gotten a few crazy theories about what was going on and lol, y'all are something else). I have a busy week at uni ahead of me so chap 8 may be late but I'll keep you posted on tumblr/twitter. Anyway hope you enjoyed this and as always, comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> Also you can find me on tumblr (tvfanatic97-2) and on twitter @dayaspsychic xx


	8. Chapter 8

MJ sits in her kitchen staring aimlessly at the mug on the table in front of her, leg bouncing up and down rapidly with nerves. Almost mechanically, she brings the mug up close to her face using both hands but doesn’t bring it right up to her lips to drink its contents, she instead just deeply inhales the rich smell of the coffee before exhaling just as deeply and slowly, willing herself to calm down.

She’d only managed to last two days out of four of the personal time she took off work cooped up in the apartment, trying to while up the time by clearing out her closet to donate items to the goodwill as well as rearranging the furniture in her bedroom and their apartment as a whole until Betty had told her to knock it off. As well as being horribly dull without work, the past two days had also been restless and emotionally exhausting.

MJ had never been someone who was all that emotional; losing your mother as a child and having to deal with an alcoholic father who’d sooner sell his own daughter if possible to fund his addiction gave one resilience, and she’d developed a stoicism out of necessity which meant she was adept at compartmentalising and as a result rarely got emotional. However, over the last couple of days she would randomly break down at the most inopportune moments crying over the father that she’d lost- though she’d never truly had him, not even in life- along with the valued friendship she’d jeopardised.

With the emotional breaks also came the interrupted sleep- she’d only managed to sleep for a total of about 8 hours over the past 48 hours she’d managed to take off work so she was physically and emotionally drained and being cooped up in the apartment was doing nothing to help her. Betty had tried to get her to go to sunrise yoga with her, to get her out of the apartment and get her moving but MJ had never been one for exercise and definitely not some gentrified form of it with a 30-year old white woman who’d “found herself” whilst travelling in south Asia and had opened up the yoga studio upon her return.

Truthfully, MJ was growing antsy in the apartment and one could only sort through their belongings so many times, read so many books and ignore a lengthy thread of concerned text messages for long enough before she realised she needed to get out of this apartment, to get back to work.

The lack of sleep is what had driven her to opt for coffee from Betty’s expensive coffeemaker rather than her usual green tea this morning.

She’s brought out of her sleep walking-like haze by Betty walking into their kitchen, dressed in a matching gym set and looking entirely too fresh and well rested much to the envy of MJ. “Are you sure about this? You can always take more time off if you need it, I don’t think anyone would judge you if you did,” she gently probes in lieu of a greeting for the millionth time since MJ had announced her intention to go back to work the previous night.

MJ smiles slightly, although Betty’s fussing over her can sometimes be the wrong side of overbearing and annoying MJ still appreciates having someone that cares enough to fuss over her and check after her wellbeing on a constant basis considering it’s not something she ever really had prior to meeting Betty during their freshman year at Harvard.

She blinks rapidly to snap out of her musings when she realises that she’s left Betty hanging without a response for a bit too long to be normal. She briefly acknowledges that she’s perhaps not fully awake and on it and could probably benefit from taking off the remaining two days she’d originally requested but she can’t be holed up in this apartment any longer so she dismisses the thought almost as quickly as she’d had it.

“No, no, I need to get out of the apartment and get back to work…have some purpose again, you know?” She pauses and takes a sip of the black coffee- it’s way too bitter for her taste but just one sip immediately perks her up and now she sees why so many people are so reliant and addicted to this bean water. “There are only so many clothes I can donate to our local goodwill before I have nothing left in my closet,” she adds on with a small laugh, trying to keep things light.

“Is that why you threw away that black dress you wore to his fun-”

MJ interjects to stop her continuing, “ _Don’t_ , Betty.”

She thought she’d buried that horrid dress with its bad memories that were practically embroidered into the fabric far down enough their kitchen trash can, effectively obscured by their domestic waste that Betty wouldn't find it but she hadn’t accounted for Betty’s observation skills, which are only matched by her own.

Betty sighs and tries again, using a different tactic, “I just feel like choosing to not deal head-on with anything related to your dad isn’t the healthiest way to-”

Again MJ interrupts her because she just wants to focus on getting back to work and not on her dad, “I really don’t want to talk about how I'm dealing or not dealing with my dad’s death, Betty. I know you’re just worried and want to help me but I don’t- it’s only been a few days since his funeral. I just need time, okay?”

Betty Brant is all softness and warmth, both outwardly and as a person but occasionally another side of her rears its head such as now as she scrutinises MJ with an intense glare, watching her so intently that MJ feels exposed, like she’s being observed under a microscope. Eventually, Betty sighs defeatedly deciding to shelve the issue for another time, “Okay, let’s talk about something else.” MJ exhales into her coffee mug with relief that she's dropping the topic, until Betty continues speaking, “So…how are we feeling about seeing Peter again for the first time since you slept with him then ran away from him?”

MJ hurriedly gulps down the rest of her coffee, the still too-hot liquid almost burning her esophagus as it goes down in her rush. She forcibly swallows it down, ignoring how she’s nearly sweating from the intense heat of the coffee, “Wow, is that the time? I better go, wouldn't wanna be late on my first day back after having time off and all.” She inwardly cringes at her transparent lie but just as the string of texts she’d got over her time off had gone ignored, she’s not going to have this conversation with Betty either. Just as she’s adept at compartmentalising, she’s a pro at avoidance.

She rapidly makes her escape, pointedly ignoring Betty’s protests about how she’s “being a child” that she shouts at her as she makes her way out of the apartment.

Before she knows it she’s cycling to work, going at a leisurely pace because despite her lies about not wanting to be late she’s a whole hour early so she has the time to take the scenic route to work, trying her best to delay having to face him for as long as she possibly can. It’s not that she expects him to corner her and demand they talk or ask her why she’s ignored all his texts, he’s professional and considerate and generally a good person who doesn’t deserve to be fucked around the way she’s done to him- but still, she feels a pit of dread low in her stomach at the thought at having to see him for the first time.

Between her Feng Shui and spring cleaning freak-outs she’d also wrestled with dialling his number, telling herself it’d probably be best to talk to him prior to her return to work when really, if she’s being honest with herself, she’d been bizarrely desperate to hear his voice and speak to him more than she’d wanted to “clear the air”.

Through the sheer will of Betty’s relentlessness and stubbornness she’d been forced to talk through some of her issues related to her dad’s death and the memories of her childhood that it had dredged up, along with divulging how she’d impulsively slept with Peter but Betty wasn’t the person she really wanted to talk to. Betty, as amazing and understanding and patient as she is, has never truly suffered loss of both close family and of her childhood the way she suspects Peter has through context clues and things he occasionally lets slip about his upbringing though he hasn’t explicitly confided in her as of yet and that was part of the reason why she had such a strong desire to talk to him and him alone during the past few days, she felt like he’d come close to understanding what she was going through. There were also other reasons for her incessant need to talk to him of all people but she was still unprepared to unpack those reasons.

For the umpteenth time this morning MJ finds herself blinking herself out of a haze she’d once again found herself in to focus on the road ahead of her as she decides she can only prolong the inevitable for so much longer. Her legs are starting to ache given the uncharacteristic length of time she’s been cycling for so she thus lowers her head slightly to pick up the pace with a renewed determination, albeit a front, to get to work.

Within ten minutes she finds herself in the hospital parking lot. She attaches a lock to her bike but doesn’t immediately move to go into the hospital, instead pausing to take a few deep breaths in and out to steel herself for the long day ahead of work…alongside Peter.

After shaking her limbs out and briefly slapping her face one, two times (she’s aware that she likely looks like she’s losing it to strangers watching her) she is finally able to make her way into the hospital, first stopping by the locker room to drop off her belongings and change into scrubs before going to the break room since she still has just over five minutes until their shift is officially due to start.

She pauses outside the door to the break room, the prospect of finding Peter on the other side of the door, with his usual caramel macchiato and his ever-present easy smile that lights up his face and draws a smile out of anyone on its receiving end, causing her to freeze in place with fear. A nurse swinging the door open and staring at her in confusion as he waits for her to move out of his way so he can leave eventually causes her to move.

Taking one final deep breath in and out she finally crosses the threshold to enter the room when the nurse whose name she can’t remember for the life of her, holds the door open for her meaning she’s forced to go inside rather than keep standing outside like a weirdo.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you want to look at it, Peter is nowhere to be found. All her fellow first year residents are there, too caught up in their conversations to notice her presence, but the one person she was both dreading and most looking forward to seeing is glaringly absent.

Unconsciously she exhales deeply, deflating with disappointment but she doesn’t have time to revel in the reasons for her reaction as Felicia steps in and draws everyone’s attention to her. Unlike Liz and the other third year residents that have looked after them over the course of their year thus far, Felicia always shows up just as their shift is about to start, not bothering herself with hanging out with the first years and getting to know them the way Liz especially had gone the extra mile to do.

“C’mon you twerps, let’s get this ward round done. Being in your presence is already starting to trigger a migraine,” Felicia huffs sounding bored. She rubs her temples dramatically to punctuate her words- she definitely falls on the tough love end of the mentorship spectrum with the first years, well apart from with  _one_  of them, but MJ finds that she doesn’t mind it so much because the older woman is darkly funny and great at her job.

As everyone files out of the room to follow after Felicia they all silently welcome her back and they each give her an almost-sympathetic smile which makes her slightly paranoid because no one apart from Morita knows her real reason for taking time off, but she reasons that the looks of sympathy are directed at the fact that she likely looks as shitty as she’s feeling and not anything to with her dad.

She ends up at the back of the group, only vaguely listening as Felicia addresses the group as they make their way to their first patient for the day.

The entire time they’re seeing the patient MJ rarely speaks up nor does she volunteer to do any of the tasks that come up, instead fading into the background and standing in the corner willing herself to be invisible whilst questioning why she cut her time off short and came in today. She was certain that what she needed was to throw herself back into her work because helping people and working makes her feel more alive and she’d hoped it would be the thing to take her out of her grief-induced slump but something is missing.

At the same time Peter stumbles into the patient’s room, quietly muttering apologies for being late before hiding in the opposite corner to her. MJ briefly looks over him and notes how generally unkempt and exhausted he looks but she doesn’t get the chance to properly look him over as he looks up to meet her eyes.

They hold their stare for a moment that stretches on and on and normally MJ’s stubborn self would hold the stare until he looked away first, determined to beat him like she normally does when they compete over everything, but today she finds herself unable to. She breaks their stare to look down at the floor, suddenly finding the design of her plain black sneakers to be really interesting.

 

* * *

 

 All throughout high school, college and med school Peter had garnered a reputation for constantly being late, regardless of the importance of whatever the occasion he seemed incapable of keeping time. That was until nearly nine months ago when he’d suddenly gained some motivation to start coming not just on time, but _early_ to work. Just a week ago he’d even started coming as early as half an hour before the start of their shifts but over the last three days he’s found that he’s regressed back to constantly being late with today being no different.

Over the last two days he’s found himself to be increasingly distracted, getting lost in his head and losing track of time until he finds that he is late for something- for work, for plans he’s made with Cindy to grab coffee and cake from her favorite bakery as a belated apology for his behaviour some days ago, for dinner plans with Ned after work…for everything.

He can’t pinpoint what exactly has him so distracted and so, so  _off_ , until he’s stumbling into the patient’s room to join the ward round about 15 minutes late and he’s faced with a familiar figure with her familiar dark brown tendrils of hair piled up high in a haphazard bun at the top of her head. She dons her ever-present scowl on her face but he notes how there’s an underlying sadness and emptiness to it as he studies her face, and she seems even more exhausted than she had before her father’s death.

He doesn’t get the chance to study her in greater depth as her own brown eyes pan up to his face, meeting his gaze. They maintain eye contact briefly, it can’t be longer than a few seconds at most, before MJ flinches and looks away from him hurriedly which stings.

The rest of the ward round passes Peter by and it’s over before he even realises. He’s too distracted by her return to really focus or voluntarily contribute anything to the ward round unless Felicia specifically calls on him the way she always seems to do. He doesn’t miss the way that MJ doesn’t really contribute much to the ward round either, similarly only speaking when she’s called on. Gone is the friendly flirtatious competitions they used to engage in during these ward rounds, there is none of the previous camaraderie and instead it’s just tense with MJ doing everything she can to avoid making eye contact with him and ensuring she never stands too close to him but without trying to be too obvious to draw attention to the tension between them.

When Felicia has assigned ward jobs for them all to complete Cindy walks up to him, all brightness and smiles in direct contrast to how Peter feels at present. “Hey, so I know your partner in crime is back at work now so don’t worry if you don’t wanna pair up the way we’ve been doing over the past week,” Cindy says kindly.

Peter considers the way MJ avoided being too close to him during the entirety of the ward round, and notes how even now she stands as far away from him as she possibly can using the other residents that stand between her and him as a sort of barrier between them and makes his decision. “I’d really like to work with you today Cindy,” he says, adding a small smile to his words.

He needs to speak MJ, to check how she’s doing with her dad and all, to talk about what happened a few nights back, to ask why she ignored the texts he’d sent her the day after they’d slept together checking that she was okay and reassuring her that despite everything between them she could talk to him about her dad because he knew a thing or two about losing a loved one, just-  _anything_. He just wants to speak her and hear her voice, has wanted to do so over the last two days she’s been off work. He’s been resisting the urge to call her constantly over the past two days, not wanting to overwhelm her and harass her when she clearly didn’t want to speak to him if his ignored texts are anything to go by. However, based on her behaviour he figures during work is probably the wrong time to talk.

And this is why they’d agreed to not sleep with each other. Their friendship is now on the rocks, going from speaking to each other daily both at work and over text when they were away from the hospital to silence for two days and now things are tense between them.

“Cool,” Cindy says coolly, snapping Peter out his thoughts about MJ and whatever is going on in between them.

He resolves that going on like this isn’t good for anyone so the two of them really need to talk, to at least briefly clear the air between them so it’s less tense working together, so he decides at lunch he’ll try to talk to her. Unfortunately, the rest of the day is uncharacteristically busy and Peter is constantly on his feet doing his assigned jobs as well as going with Felicia to answer bleeps from the ER as well as consults in other departments meaning he goes the entirety of his shift without getting a lunch break or any break at all.

Before he knows it it’s just after 7pm meaning his shift is finished. After making sure everything is in place for the incoming staff on overnight everyone else bids him farewell and hurriedly leaves the hospital, too excited to get home after the long day they’ve all had.

Peter elects to stay behind for a bit longer to finish off some leftover paperwork since he’s not in any rush to go back to Ned’s overbearing fussing. He figures he might as well stay behind to do some paperwork just to make things slightly easier for the residents on the night shift.

He distractedly opens the door to the office, not really paying attention since he assumes everyone else has gone home meaning he can have a moment to himself with just the whirring of the old desktop for company as he completes paperwork.

He pauses almost comically mid-step, hand holding the door open when he finds MJ sitting in front of one of the computers apparently having had the same idea as he’s had.

She similarly pauses where she’s typing on the keyboard and turns to face him. The two just watch each other for a prolonged moment, suspended in time with everything else fading into the background as he becomes hyper-aware of MJ.

He’d seen her before over the course of the day but this is the first time he’s alone with her since she’d shown up drunk at his apartment, broken down about her dad, slept with him before proceeding to essentially run away from him without a word.

Now that they’re alone and he’s stood just a few feet away from her he can continue his study of her from earlier. He notes the heavy, dark bags beneath her eyes along with how generally tired she looks. His eyes flit to the desk in front of her where he sees a reusable cup with the lid off with what appears to be-  _is that black coffee_? No, it’s probably some weird blend black tea because MJ doesn’t do coffee, she’s repeatedly told him as such but then again- he thought she didn’t drink alcohol and well…

He dismisses those thoughts and his eyes drift back to her and he sees her hunch down her chair and shrink into herself, making herself physically smaller and she seems almost scared. Scared of what? Scared of what he’s gonna say to her? Scared of  _him_?

Peter shakes the thought away and takes a couple of large strides to go and settle in the chair next to hers. He briefly thinks back to all the times they’ve spent sat in chairs next to each other in a position like they’re in now, bantering and flirting over the course of their residency and what a contrast the situation they’re in now is. He swivels the chair around so he’s facing her and she also does the same so they’re now sitting facing the other, knees knocking into each other due to their proximity to each other.

“Peter-”

“Michelle-” he speaks up at the same time she does and he doesn’t miss the way she flinches slightly at the use of her full name so he rushes to amend, “You go first,  _MJ_.”

“Um, I need a minute to collect my thoughts so you should probably go first,” she admits quietly, sounding shy and uncertain of herself in a way that is so uncharacteristic of her.

There is so much Peter wants to say to her, he’s rehearsed over and over again all the things he’d say to her once he saw her over the time she’s been off work and his mind races through his options of what he should say first before he eventually settles on, “How have you been doing with your dad and everything?”

A small, slightly appreciative, smile breaks out on her face almost like she can’t help it. “I don’t know,” she sighs out. “It’s like- I hadn’t spoken to him in years and I hated him for a really long time but I think the reality of losing my last remaining parent is kinda hitting me. Everything feels slow, and surreal you know? It doesn't feel like he's gone- or maybe I just don’t want to believe that he’s really gone. It’s so stupid because I hated him, I  _did_ , but he had his moments where it felt like I had my dad back whenever he’d try to go sober. It’s just hit me harder than I expected, I guess,” she eventually gets out and Peter sees how her eyes widen slightly the more she says, like she can’t believe she’s saying all those things out loud, like she didn’t intend to share any of that with him.

Peter resists the urge to reach forward and grab her hand which is fiddling with the pocket of her scrubs nervously to comfort her considering the precarious position their friendship is in, and the fact that he is confused about where they stand and where he stands in terms of his own muddled feelings. Instead he gently knocks his knee against hers to get her attention and he waits until she slowly meets his eye to speak, “I won’t pretend that I know what it’s like to grow up with a parent with an addiction, but I do know what it’s like to lose all of your parents so I can relate to at least part of what you’re going through. I-I lost my parents when I was really young and my memories of them are few and far between but I still carry the pain of their loss to this day, so it’s normal that you’re feeling the way you are. It’s only been  _days_  since you lost him MJ, give yourself time. You can’t put pressure on yourself to just “bounce back” from this and be back to normal just like that, to not be affected by this, okay?”

He holds his gaze with MJ, whose eyes are red rimmed with barely contained tears, to ensure his words get through to her. He can’t relate to the turmoil of losing a parent with a long-term addiction who didn’t always put you first growing up, or the pain that growing up with such a parent must have entailed so he can’t really offer her proper advice. He desperately wants to take away the pain she carries on her hunched shoulders but he doesn’t know how to beyond his vague empty words about losing his parents young; he can’t think of anything else he could say to make her feel better right now no matter how hard he’s trying.

What he deems to be useless, mostly empty words seem to have some effect on MJ though as her eyes appear drier, and there’s a ghost of a smile that appears on her lips.

She surprises him by stretching across the minimal distance between them to grasp his hand in both of her smaller ones, gently stroking her thumbs over his knuckles in a way that’s oddly intimate- odd because they’ve done things far more intimate than holding hands. She continues the gentle ministrations of her hands for a while without saying a word and Peter holds his breath the entire time, not knowing what to do with himself or how to react to the unexpected action.

After a while MJ exhales, steeling herself to say something, “Peter, about the other night...I haven’t stopped thinking about it- about my feelings and I-”

Her words are interrupted by the door behind him swinging open suddenly which causes MJ to withdraw her hands away from him before he can even process what’s going on, before rolling her chair away slightly to put some distance between them.

“Oh, sorry,” a gentle, sweet voice speaks out. “The nurse told me I could find you in here Peter, I didn’t realise you were here as well Dr Jones.”

Peter briefly looks to MJ who is now staring down intently at her coffee cup, refusing to look up at him and meet his eye. He gives up and turns around to face the door where he sees Gwen looking healthier and much more herself, or what he assumes is what she normally looks like now that she’s not in a hospital gown having just escaped the clutches of death like the last time he’d seen her some months back now. Her hair is neatly combed back with a black hairband being utilised to keep it back, and she wears clothes that remind him of an elementary school teacher before he remembers that she _is_  an elementary school teacher.

“Gwen, uh, hi,” Peter greets awkwardly, clearing his throat.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but I was here for a clinic visit- the chest clinic _really_ overran today,” she says with a small laugh, either oblivious to or choosing to ignore the tense mood of the room she’s just walked into. “Anyway, I thought I’d see if maybe you were around and well, here you are,” she finishes then she just awkwardly hovers in the doorway.

The awkward moment stretches on for way too long with none of them moving or saying anything until eventually MJ breaks the tense silence, “Well, I’ve finished all my paperwork so I’ll leave you two to catch up.”

Peter desperately looks up trying to meet her eye, trying to beg her to stay so they can continue their conversation, so she can say whatever she was about to say before Gwen walked in but his pleading stare goes ignored as MJ picks up her cup, tucks her chair under the desk then starts to walk out.

“It’s really nice to see you looking so healthy, Gwen,” is the last thing MJ says as she leaves the pair alone in the office.

Gwen steps into the office and she’s saying something as she walks towards him but Peter doesn’t hear what she says, more focused on looking over her shoulder where he sees MJ pause to look back briefly with an expression he can’t read on her face before she leaves, leaving him to turn his attention to whatever Gwen is saying and try to not obsess over what she might have said had they not been unceremoniously interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while I'm really sorry but I had creative issues when it came to this chapter and was unsatisfied with every draft I wrote but I'm back again and I am determined to see this through to the end even if it kills me. Quick thing- I've decided to extend this fic beyond the original planned 10 chapters bc I realised I couldn't wrap things up in just 3 chapters and I've also gone back and edited a few things here and there but nothing consequential that would affect the plot, so...yeah. Anywho, sorry for the long wait for this update and I hope it's not too much of a disappointment. Hope you enjoyed and as always, comments and kudos are much appreciated.
> 
> Find me on tumblr @tvfanatic97-2 and on twitter @dayaspsychic xx


	9. Chapter 9

MJ carefully studies the ceiling above her, eyes roving back and forth, and back and forth again across it. She’s noticed what looks like a wet patch from a previous leak that their landlord had done a shoddy job of having repaired and covered up- there’s a vague brown outline that remains that MJ has been fixated on for the past hour she’s been awake and unable to go back to sleep.

She’s just resolved to paint the ceiling on her next day off when the obnoxious buzzing of her alarm goes off, indicating that it’s time to get up for work. She thus drags herself out of bed, feeling exhausted and barely rested considering she’d only been asleep for about four hours before she randomly woke up a whole hour and a half before she was meant to as she has been doing for the past nearly two weeks since the funeral.

The random early morning wakefulness and the fact that her sleep in general is greatly disrupted with her no longer being able to sleep more than four to five hours straight a night has her feeling a level of physical exhaustion that she’s never felt before. It’s taking a toll on her and she knows it’s unsustainable to go on like this but ploughing on is better than the alternative of taking more time off because that would involve her having to spend long days cooped up in the apartment with nothing but the memories that serve as a totem of her father, of the family she’s lost, to keep her company.

As she’s done for everyday she’s had to work over the past fortnight she forces herself to carry out her morning routine, showering, getting dressed and having breakfast- a lone cup of black coffee and nothing else- all in a record half an hour now that’s she’s got it all down to a system.

She feels disconnected from her body, like she’s not occupying it and she’s operating it to move around from elsewhere- like a mild dissociative state- as she almost mechanically moves to gather her things to leave for work before Betty wakes up for her sunrise yoga class then as she cycles to work.

The quiet of the hospital in the early hours of the morning, with the only sounds being those of random heart monitors and other equipment and the low chatter of night staff fighting off sleep to survive the remaining hour or so of their shift, is oddly comforting in its familiarity as she walks into her ward.

She politely greets familiar co-workers she comes across as she walks to the office to form a patient list for today then read it over to familiarise herself with the department’s new overnight admissions ahead of the ward round. This is something normally reserved for the third year and Felicia had told her as much when she first found her in the office compiling the list but there must have been something Felicia saw in MJ’s eyes- _exhaustion_ , _desperation_ , _imploration_ \- that made her sympathetically relent that she could do it whenever she came in early which has been every shift MJ's worked since the encounter.

Once it’s nearing twenty minutes before the start of their shift she leaves the office to go to the breakroom so she can pretend she’s just come in to her colleagues who will start coming in shortly as well.

She’s making herself another cup of black coffee when one by one the other residents start to file in and as they make idle chit chat she stands off to the side, leant against the counter, sipping on the terrible cheap instant coffee that was the only thing available in the breakroom. She focuses on quietly drinking her coffee away from the group because she’s just not in the mood to socialise.

Abe, whom she’s been paired off with quite a lot recently, makes a few attempts to include her in their conversations but she’s luckily saved from having to participate by Felicia turning up to gather the troops.

Again, just as he’s done over the past week or so since she’s been back at work Peter turns up late whilst they’re in the middle of seeing a patient. Despite her best efforts to not look at him or even acknowledge him, she can’t help but notice how unkempt he looks and she also notes how especially exhausted he looks.

She’s closely observing him when he looks up at her, almost as if he can sense her eyes on him, so she hurriedly looks away and rushes to answer Morita’s question directed to the residents in an attempt to pretend she hadn’t just been watching him. She smiles triumphantly to herself when she answers his question correctly and makes recommendations for the patient’s care plan despite the fact that she’d been paying more attention to Peter rather than to what Morita had been saying.

The next time Morita asks them a question Peter rushes to answer it, beating her to it and because she’s stood directly opposite him she doesn’t miss his small, barely there, triumphant smirk at having beaten her. It almost feels like old times with them having friendly, borderline flirtatious competitions during these wards rounds-  _almost_.

She has to remind herself of why she’s been keeping her distance from him over the last few days, why she’s been swapping shifts with co-workers so she’s on nights when he is on day shifts and vice versa. She can’t look at him without her heart constricting in her chest and a warmth blooming within her; when she looks at him she feels an eerie calm and silence, her thoughts and the world around her coming to a halt and all other sickening clichés imaginable. But at the same time she can’t look at him without seeing the barely contained disappointment he’d watched her with as she gathered her things to run away from him the night after her dad’s funeral or the pleading look he had in his eyes as he silently tried to stop her leaving so they could continue their conversation before Gwen-Stacy had shown up.

Thinking of those looks and the world of hurt she’s likely inflicted on him with her hot and cold behaviour is sobering and brings her back to the reality of why she’s been carefully avoiding him so when Morita quizzes the group again she makes no attempt to answer, effectively stopping the competition before it even starts. Stopping them from falling back into old routines.

Throughout the rest of the ward round she’s careful to avoid standing too close to him and she avoids even so much as making eye contact with him even if she can feel his eyes on her and she herself desperately wants to look at him.

Once they’re done seeing patients and Morita has left them Felicia rounds the group up, “Listen up!”

They all come to huddle in a small semi-circle around Felicia, with MJ making sure to stand the opposite end to Peter so she isn’t near him and there is a barrier of other residents between them.

“So I’ve chosen someone to do the angiogram and uh, well done Abe,” Felicia announces, her voice devoid of any emotion that strays too far from her baseline of boredom and apathy.

MJ turns to face Abe who’s stood next to her to give him a small smile to wordlessly tell him “well done” but the two of them hadn’t gotten to know each other well enough to establish boundaries yet so he takes her smile as invitation to hug her in his excitement. The contact is slightly jarring to MJ but she hesitantly wraps her arms around him to hug him back so as to not tamper his excitement.

She accidentally meets Peter’s eyes from over Abe’s shoulder whilst they’re hugging and she can’t get a read on what emotion she sees staring back at her but she almost shrinks away at the intensity of his gaze and quickly moves to get out of Abe’s embrace so she can look away. Abe is fortunately too distracted by everyone congratulating him to notice the change in MJ’s demeanour or her uncomfortable she seems.

Felicia interrupts the celebrations that had broken out- this is the first time someone that’s not either Peter or MJ has won one of these little competitions seniors put the first years in so everyone is a little excitable- to speak, “So Abe is gonna go to the Cath lab meaning we’ll be one minion down to do this jobs list.”

MJ gets a weird sinking feeling, not liking where this is going.

Her dread becomes founded when Felicia carries on, “So Peter and Michelle, you two work together on these jobs-” she hands off a scrap of paper she’s jotted down a mini list of jobs on to Peter who’s stood closer to her before carrying on, “And Flash, Cindy and Seymour you’ll have to be a trio.”

When Peter looks up from the scrap of paper MJ quickly averts her gaze to look at anything else besides him. Just her luck that after successfully avoiding him for just over a week she’s now being effectively forced to work with him on a one-to-one basis again.

 

* * *

 

Peter isn’t so self-centred to think of himself as the reason for MJ’s weird behaviour seeing as she’d lost her last remaining parent just under two weeks ago now but, he also doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that he hasn’t worked with her since their interrupted conversation.

When Gwen had shown up that evening she’d caught him up on what she'd been doing since being discharged from hospital and thanked him for saving her life, though he’d only been half listening to her, too caught up in what MJ meant when she said she hadn’t stopped thinking about that other night or about her feelings.

He’d been so pre-occupied with figuring out what MJ wanted to say to him that he’d missed Gwen asking him out and was shocked when he zoned back into the conversation to find her trying to make dinner plans. He’d had to let her down gently, citing how unethical it would be given their patient-doctor relationship as his reasoning since he figured it was less hurtful than telling she was far from the person he was interested in.

The days following he’d been haunted by the possibilities of what MJ would’ve said had they not been interrupted. His ideas for what she might have said started off optimistic but then her ignoring his texts and calls, coupled with how when he came into work the next morning Cindy had informed him that she’d swapped with another resident to be on night shifts instead made his ideas shift to being less optimistic.

He is certain that she wants to tell him it was a mistake, that she’d been so overcome by grief and sadness and she’d simply needed a distraction the same way she had done the first night they met. The way she is avoiding him and wouldn’t even make eye contact with him during the ward round today only confirms his suspicions- she likely just doesn’t know how to let him down gently hence why she is going out of her way to avoid seeing him or talking to him.

He is torn because he wants to keep his distance from her, if only to preserve his feelings so he doesn’t have to hear her tell him she regrets sleeping with him and wants nothing to do with him, but a small part of him holds out some hope that maybe she’d been about to tell him something else that night. He really just needs to talk to her, to clear the air.

And he realises he might finally get that opportunity when Felicia announces that him and MJ will be working together today. Instinctively he immediately looks to MJ to gage her reaction to the development but she immediately looks away from him leaving him feeling slightly hurt.

He is weighing up whether or not to talk to Felicia privately to ask if he can work with Cindy instead when MJ approaches him, her steps hesitant and shy as she holds her hands behind her back in a way that exudes a nervousness he’s never associated with MJ before; he doesn’t like seeing her be this nervous, especially around him. “Think you’ll be able to keep up with me today, Dr Brainless?”

He knows she is teasing him in an attempt to establish a sense of normalcy so things aren’t so weird between them throughout the day but the clipped way in which she says it makes the ribbing come off less friendly and teasing, and more forced and unnatural.

Nevertheless Peter tries to retort, to establish their usual banter, “Is this some, like, self-affirmation thing where you speak to yourself out loud?”

She snorts loudly and unexpectedly to the surprise of both him and to herself it’d seem given the way she hurries to cover her mouth and nose. Peter grins widely at having got that reaction out of her considering normally she's so careful to give him no more than a sly smirk when he says something remotely funny. She gives him small smile once she uncovers her mouth, her shoulders loosening slightly so she’s less tense but he notes that her jaw is still partially set with unease.  _Baby steps_.

MJ clears her throat as her smile falls away to give way to a more professional, focused expression. “Can I look at the job list?”

It’s weird how she has to ask where before she wouldn’t have hesitated to just snatch the bit of paper out of his hands or touch him in anyway without asking, now she seems to not know how to act around him and it makes Peter’s heart ache.

He wordlessly hands it to her and watches her as she scrutinises the list for a moment then, “Should we do it the usual way? Group the tasks by job type and tackle it that way?”

Peter is so caught up in watching her- the furrow of her brow as she concentrates on the paper in her hand and no doubt works on mentally grouping the jobs together in her head, the curls escaping from her messy haphazard bun and her foot which is tapping continuously against the floor- that he doesn’t realise he hasn’t answered her question until she’s staring up at him impatiently.

“Hello, Parker? Is anyone in there?”

“Yeah, we should group it by job type. The usual way,” he finally responds, and he holds their stare for a moment until MJ hurriedly looks down to break their eye contact before she turns around to walk away.

They spend the rest of the work day chasing up results and completing paperwork but where before the work day spent with MJ would just fly by with them exchanging playful and flirtatious repartee through it all, today there is little to no teasing and certainly no flirtatious undertones. The atmosphere is terse and remains constantly professional and anytime he attempts to joke with MJ she just looks slightly pained then will immediately steer things back to the work at hand so eventually he gives up.

MJ clearly doesn’t want to be around him and Peter painfully watches the clock for the rest of the shift, willing their penultimate shift of this Cardiology rotation to be over with when they are bleeped to go back to their department and deal with an incoming admission.

It’s a man who’s just come from having emergency angioplasty for a heart attack who is about to be admitted onto their department to recover and Felicia tasks them with getting all his records together in preparation for his arrival and updating his family on what’s happening before dismissing them.

They’re both accustomed to this, dealing with patients' families, and this time it’s not like they’re breaking bad news so it shouldn’t be all that difficult except when they go and find the family Peter's attention is immediately drawn to the young boy who looks to be about 13 or 14 years old who is there waiting with his mom.

Seeing the young boy takes Peter back to over a decade ago in a hospital not unlike this one where a 14 year old Peter Parker was attached to his aunt’s side the way the kid in front of him right now is, as they’d waited for news about Ben.

He knows that the father in this case is fine and the situation isn’t all that similar to the one he was in 12 years ago but he’s still slightly perturbed and he freezes where he is, his steps faltering and his breath catching in his throat.

MJ turns to him and she must notice the tension rolling off his shoulders and the way his hands ball up into fists at his sides as his wide-eyed gaze fixates on the young boy not too far ahead of them. She reaches a hand out to lightly rest over one of his clenched fists then she gently strokes his knuckles to bring him back to the present.

The small gesture helps to ground him and helps him feel like he can breathe again.

“I’ll do the talking,” she says quietly to him and all he can do is smile gratefully at her in return, unable to voice just how thankful he is to have her.

She lets go of his hand once she feels like he’s okay before walking to the family ahead of him then she updates the mother and son duo on what’s happening to the dad whilst he stands there smiling and nodding his head at the appropriate times so he doesn’t look certifiable.

Once they, they meaning MJ, have updated the family and directed them towards where their dad is being brought to, they go to the office to work through the guy’s paperwork. And again it all feels so familiar with how they’re sat side by side working on the desktops in the small stuffy office, but the tense silence reminds him that it’s not  _really_  like before.

“Are you okay, Peter?” MJ asks, her voice barely audible above the whirring sound of the fans of the old desktop computers that the hospital really ought to replace.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good,” he says and he pauses his typing to turn to face her and give her a small, strained smile that he hopes comes off as reassuring.

MJ watches him intently, with her eyes narrowed, like she’s trying to read him or pry the answer out of him and he almost buckles at the intensity of her steady and intent gaze but she looks away at the last second. “Okay,” she states simply before she starts typing on her computer again.

“Okay?”

She hums and nods her head in agreement but doesn’t say anything more as they go back to working but the sound of them typing away on their keyboards and the fans of the desktops make Peter feel increasingly uncomfortable until he suddenly blurts out, “My uncle died when I was 14.”

MJ stops typing and swivels her chair around so she is facing him and shuffles along the floor so she is sitting closer to him but he doesn’t turn away from the computer screen in front of him, refusing to face her, meaning she is staring at the side of his face as he speaks.

Before Peter can stop himself he finds himself recounting the story to her, “After my parents died...Ben was…a guy tried to rob…and he...” He has several false starts as he tries to figure out how best to tell MJ one of his most painful memories.

She reaches a hand forward to rub his shoulder soothingly, encouragingly, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Peter.”

He can see that she’s giving him an out, not forcing him to open up to her should he not want to considering the shaky ground their friendship- if you can even call it that at this point- currently stands on but he finds that he wants to tell her, wants to share a part of himself with her. He has a sneaking suspicion as to why he is so ready to open up to her but now isn’t the time to unpack that.

He takes a deep breath in and out before trying again, starting from the beginning, “It was a robbery gone wrong that ended with my uncle getting shot. They brought him to the hospital but the surgeons couldn’t save him, I guess.”

“Peter I am so sorry,” She says as she continues to rub his shoulder.

“The waiting was hell. You don’t realise how unwelcoming hospitals are with the bright lights and minimalist furniture until you’re stuck in a waiting room with your aunt and all you can think about is whether you could have done more, given better CPR, called 911 earlier or just _anything_ , y’know?” He huffs out with a humourless laugh, his voice cracking slightly as he gets out the last few syllables.

He finally turns to face MJ and finds her watching him, her eyes shining with unshed tears and he wants to reach forward and wrap her up in his arms and apologise and reassure her that it’s okay now, _he_ 's okay now, because the last thing he wanted to do or ever wants to do is to upset her or make her cry.

“Y-you were there with him?” She asks, her voice breaking slightly and she doesn’t have to specify what she means by “there”. The previously unshed tears now roll down her cheeks and she makes no move to wipe them away.

He wordlessly nods his head and sighs sadly thinking back to his 14 year old self desperately trying to call out for help whilst he’d attempted to give his uncle CPR the way he'd seen them do in the medical TV shows he'd enjoyed from a very young age but his small, lithe pre-pubescent body had been too weak to really be all that effective in the end. His throat goes dry and he feels his eyes watering but before he breaks out into proper tears he feels MJ turn his chair around so he is now facing her then she lifts off her chair slightly and leans across to wrap her arms tightly around his neck in an unexpected but welcome hug.

It’s not the most comfortable hug and she’s almost sitting in his lap like this but they stay like that for a while, both seeking comfort from the other until one of their pagers goes off, the jarring beeping sound interrupting their moment.

MJ is first to pull away from where she was practically draped across his lap. She clears her throat and tucks some loose curls behind her ears shyly, seemingly embarrassed at the show of physical affection in a way that is reminiscent of how she'd been after she hugged him outside the diner then she hurriedly brings her hands up to wipe at her cheeks.

Peter is about to say something because he feels like something needs to be said but MJ is picking up the phone nearby to dial the extension that had just bleeped them before he gets the chance to. He watches her listen carefully to the details whoever is on the other side of the phone relays to her before she finally hangs up.

“MJ,” he starts to say.

“I know we need to talk about- about everything. _Soon_ , okay?” She says quietly, looking down at her lap rather than up at him.

“Okay,” he relents with a slightly disappointed sigh.

Finally she looks up to face him and he watches the change in her facial expression as she schools her features back into a mask of professionalism. “Back to work, brainless,” she says with a forced light-heartedness to her tone.

She doesn’t give him the chance to say anything as she is out of her seat and at the door ready to leave before he can even blink, leaving him to trail after her like he always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm not 100% on this and I hope this isn't coming off as melodramatic but anywho hope you enjoy this latest installment!! As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated (they're literally my life line, PLS).  
> *Edit- made some edits to the chap incl when it's set (it's their 2nd to last day of this rotation)
> 
> Find me on tumblr @tvfanatic97-2 and on twitter @dayaspsychic x


	10. Chapter 10

Once again MJ comes in exceedingly early ahead of their last shift of the Cardiology rotation planning to compile the patient list then hang around waiting for everyone else to come in as she’s been doing.

She first stops by the hospital cafeteria to get an espresso shot since she woke up later than she’s been doing recently and didn’t have enough time to make coffee using Betty’s coffeemaker without risking having to face Betty and be forced into talking about her feelings. Once she’s grabbed her coffee she goes to drop off her things in the locker room and change into hospital issue scrubs then she heads towards the office.

She makes the familiar walk through the department, politely greeting the recognisable figures she comes across as she makes her way to the office on the opposite end of the ward.

Her steps slow as she approaches the office when she hears two voices coming from inside, one of them being one she knows uncomfortably well and instantly recognises. She opens the door as quietly as possible and finds the owner of the familiar voice sat in one of the office chairs next to the kid she immediately recognises as the boy whose dad had been admitted after a heart attack yesterday.

The pair are hunched over one of the desktops watching some YouTube video she can’t see from where she’s stood but it sounds vaguely like some kind of gaming video. Peter and the kid are barely paying attention to the video in front of them as they chat animatedly about what she presumes is the video game that is the topic of the video, exchanging tips and such.

MJ notes how less worn out the younger boy looks, some youthful joy having returned to his face as he tells some story to Peter who for his part, though he’s facing away from the door and has his back to her, listens attentively to every word out of the boy’s mouth, nodding his head excitedly along to everything he says. She can’t follow the conversation given her lack of familiarity with whatever mods and whatever else they’re talking about, but she still feels a familiar warmth bloom, her stomach lurching and a small smile breaking out on her face before she can stop it at the sight before her.

She gets so caught up in watching the two of them interact and in watching how just like with everyone else Peter interacts with, the kid seems to have taken a liking to and formed an instant connection with Peter that she misses them noticing her presence until their conversation comes to a halt and Peter is turning in his chair to look to where the younger boy is pointing-  _at her_.

Peter’s eyes widen briefly, clearly not having expected for anyone else to be in this early but he blinks away his surprise and clears his throat to re-compose himself before greeting her. “Uh, hi MJ. I didn’t think anyone would be uh- y’know…” he says nervously, moving to scratch the back of his neck the way he always does when he’s slightly embarrassed or nervous.

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep,” she responds, not bothering to clarify any further beyond that.

The two of them maintain eye contact for a moment, becoming suspended in time that they don’t even realise how long they hold their stare until the younger boy very loudly and pointedly clears his throat to draw their attention back to him.

“I’m gonna go back to my dad’s room now,” he says with a small, slightly knowing smile as he looks between them. His eyes finally stop on Peter, “Thanks for hanging out.”

“No problem Justin,” Peter says, his eyes finally leaving MJ’s face to go to the boy. “Will you be okay finding your way back to your dad’s room?”

Justin snorts incredulously, “Dude, I’m not five.”

Peter lightly punches him on the shoulder for his snarky remark, “Yeah, yeah, get out of here. I have actual work to do now.”

“Yeah “ _work_ ”,” Justin says with a small wink that MJ isn’t sure if he intended for her to see or not before he comes to squeeze past her out of the office, leaving her alone with Peter.

MJ doesn’t immediately move from her spot near the door, unsure what to do.

“I don’t want it in my search history that I was watching gaming videos on my work account so let me delete my search history then I’ll log out and leave you to it,” Peter says with a small laugh.

MJ finally moves to settle in the now unoccupied chair next to him but she keeps silently watching him instead of logging onto the computer in front of her to do what she came in to do.

Peter must sense her eyes on him because he briefly turns sideways to look at her before he turns back to the computer in front of him then he speaks, “So, what are you doing here so early?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Dumbo,” she easily retorts.

He winces slightly, “That’s still my least favorite of all the nicknames you’ve come up with.”

“That’s what makes it my personal favorite,” she says with a small smile.

Peter whips his head around to watch her with an expression that’s meant to be annoyed but he barely maintains it, a wide grin breaking out on his face almost instantly after their eyes meet. He again turns back to the computer. “Did you mean it about not being able to sleep?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

She looks at his profile, which is silhouetted by the blue light of the computer screen in front of him, as she considers him for a moment. “Felicia has been letting me compile the patient lists when I come in really early,” she responds, not directly addressing her sleeping troubles.

Peter doesn’t say anything straight away, more focused on logging off his desktop before he swivels his chair round to face her fully. He gives her a small, understanding smile and she thinks he might keep pressing her about her sleeping, and honestly she thinks she’d be willing to confide in him about it if he prodded enough, but instead all he says is, “Okay, I’ll leave you to it then.”

He makes to get out of his chair and MJ has a brief moment of panic where she realises she doesn’t want him to leave. “Help me compile the list?” she blurts out, her voice unsure and going up an octave.

He stops his movements, comically squatting over the chair for a moment before he settles back into the seat. “Okay. I don’t know how to do any of this so you’ll have to take the lead and show me what I need to do though.”

“Like I do with everything else,” she retorts before she reaches forward to enter her login details into the computer.

“Shut up,” he says though there is no bite to his tone.

MJ has to hold her breath when she hears him wheel his chair closer to hers. She knows logically it’s so he has a good view of the screen whilst she shows him what to do but that doesn’t stop the way her heart flutters in her chest or the way she feels her cheeks start to heat up lightly, like she’s twelve all over again and Harry Osborn has just winked at her and called her pretty.

“Okay show me what I need to do, number one resident.”

“So you admit you’re second best after me?”

“I meant number one if we’re ranking in terms of ego and cockiness only, if we’re talking like, ability, then Abe would probably be number one,” he retorts cheekily.

Things feel much lighter between them in a way they haven’t done in a very, very long time and it makes MJ smile in the way it’s comforting.

After that they work together to compile the list, and because Peter of course picks up what he needs to do almost instantly they manage to finish it in half the time it normally takes her when she’s on her own despite how often they pause throughout to make fun of each other and generally banter.

When they finish the task, they go to the cafeteria so Peter can buy himself some coffee first then move to the breakroom to wait for everyone else to come in. They talk about everything- well, not everything seeing as they steer clear of topics involving her dad or _them_ \- and joke and laugh. It’s so familiar and comfortable and makes MJ realise just how much she’d missed Peter and being with him over not just the past couple of weeks she’s been avoiding him, but the last few months since her dad was first admitted to hospital and she started spending less and less time with him.

Peter is in the middle of telling a story about an elderly woman who was in the ward last week who kept trying to set him up with her grandson because she was insistent her gaydar was never wrong. He hiccups little laughs as he recounts all the measures she took to try and trick him into agreeing to go on a date with her grandson after he’d said no a few times already and MJ has to work really hard to contain the joy simply watching Peter talk so animatedly brings her, her teeth catching her bottom lip to stop a large grin from breaking out.

Before she can stop herself she interrupts his story, “Hey, what are you doing over the next few days we have off before we start our next rotation?”

“Oh, uh, sleeping obviously. Maybe do some reading- can you believe it’ll be our last rotation then our first year of residency is over?”

“Peter,” she deadpans in response to his small attention span.

“Right, sorry. Nothing, I have no plans. Why do you ask?”

“Do you wanna-” she pauses to take a deep breath in and steel herself to ask what she wants to ask. “Do you wanna, uh, maybe meet up to y’know, talk? About, um,  _stuff_ ,” she asks quietly staring down at the table for a moment.

When she gets no response she eventually looks up to meet his wide-eyed gaze staring back at her. He looks shocked, but there is also a hint of excitement to his expression and again she has to contain a smile.

“Uh, Peter?” she tries again when the endearing silence stretches on a bit too long.

Peter shakes his head to snap out of the haze he was in and exhales audibly then opens his mouth again about to say something but he doesn’t get the chance as Flash and Abe loudly walk into the breakroom.

“Aw the lovebirds made up,” Flash says, gesturing to the pair.

MJ rolls her eyes realising their moment is well and truly over now. Peter just blushes furiously, his cheeks and neck going bright red and MJ has a fleeting thought about how she knows just how far that blush reaches beneath the neckline of his scrubs.

Over the next ten minutes everyone else arrives one by one until the breakroom is filled with excitable chatter about their last day and plans for their usual end-of-rotation drinks. MJ missed the last drinks because she’d been occupied with her dad but Peter briefly meets her eye, silently asking her if she wants to come and she nods her head.

Before she knows it, Felicia arrives to gather them up and they’re seeing patients and doing all their various jobs.

Like most Fridays, their day is packed and they spend most of it on their feet running around the hospital and they barely get a break but everyone’s moods are high because it’s their last day of the rotation and they have a few days off to look forward to so no one complains too much. Plus, she works the shift with Peter and because they’ve sort of settled back into their old routine of bantering, the shift is much easier and almost flies by.

 

* * *

 

They end up finishing the shift much later than usual and everyone is exhausted but they’re all relieved and happy about having survived another rotation and agree to just change out of their scrubs and head straight to the bar to start the drinking early.

Peter makes his excuses about needing to go home first but promises he’ll come and join them in a bit, making sure to give a small reassuring smile to MJ as he speaks. He then hangs around to go and see Justin one final time since he’s leaving the department and might not see him again.

He goes to Justin’s dad’s room but finds the older man alone. “Oh, Dr Parker right? Justin hasn’t stopped talking about you,” Sam says with small smile.

“Yeah, just checking everything’s all good.”

“I sent Justin and my wife home, they’d been hovering over me and worrying after me too much,” he says with a laugh.

Peter politely laughs in return, slightly embarrassed at how transparent he is that Sam had been able to tell he was looking for his son almost instantly and didn’t believe his excuse about “checking in”.

“Hey, uh, thanks for how you’ve been with Justin by the way. I know he was really scared with everything and you talking and listening to him really helped him and I appreciate it.”

Peter reaches a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, “Uh, just doing my job sir.”

“No, no, you went above and beyond when you didn’t have to and I appreciate it,” he affirms. “Justin definitely appreciates it.”

Peter isn’t sure how to respond so he just smiles. “Is there anything you need before I go? More pain meds? Water?”

“No get out of here man, I heard all the doctors talking about going for drinks after work,” he says with a jokingly dismissive wave of the hand.

Peter laughs then bids the older man farewell before leaving. Afterwards he goes to change out of his scrubs and back into the clothes he wore into the hospital before he cycles home.

Once he’s there he considers whether to shower and change clothes before he decides he can’t wait that much longer to see MJ again so he gets an Uber to the bar everyone is at.

When he gets there, the group has occupied their usual corner table and already seem to be a few drinks in based on how loud and rowdy Flash is, though considering that’s just how Flash is normally Peter concedes he could be wrong.

He slips into the empty seat next to MJ hoping his arrival goes unnoticed and unacknowledged but Flash announces his arrival to everyone, “Look who’s finally decided to join us! Next round is on you Parker.”

Peter briefly glances to MJ then back to Flash, “I’m not drinking, Flash.”

The group collectively boos at him. “You’re both so boring,” Flash complains, gesturing to him and MJ.

Peter shrugs wordlessly at the accusation then the group returns to talking amongst themselves like they’d been doing before his arrival.

“Didn’t think you’d show up, slowpoke,” MJ says in greeting.

“And miss the pleasure of drunk Flash’s company?” he responds sarcastically and that earns him a smirk from MJ which he files away.

The rest of the night carries on as all the other end-of-rotation drinks have gone with them exchanging patient stories like they always do as everyone, bar Peter and MJ, gets increasingly drunker and rowdier.

At some point they notice a few third years are also there at the bar and whilst Felicia looks over at the first years with a hint of disgust before promptly turning away from them to pretend she doesn’t know them; Liz walks over to greet the group with a friendly smile.

After everyone has excitedly caught their favorite third year up on their lives, Liz pulls up a chair and sits next to MJ.

“Hey,” she greets MJ with a smile, this one different to the one she’d greeted everyone else with.

“Hey, so I take it you got that Stanford fellowship and are here celebrating?” MJ asks the other woman and Peter notes how she moves her chair so she’s turned to face Liz and has her back to him slightly which makes him feel a pang of hurt.

He turns back to the table to sip on the previously forgotten glass of water Cindy had been nice enough to get him a few rounds ago but still listens in on Liz and MJ’s conversation.

“…so I’m gonna be moving back home to California,” he hears Liz say.

“I’m happy for you, Liz,” MJ says quietly.

“More water, Pete?!” Cindy asks him from across the table, startling him slightly since he’d been so focused on MJ and Liz’s conversation.

He clears his throat to compose himself, briefly panicking that maybe he’d been caught eaves dropping on a conversation that doesn’t involve him but Cindy doesn’t seem that suspicious. “I’m good, thanks Cindy,” he replies, raising his glass up high to show her that he’s barely drunk the water she’d gotten him before.

He then zones back into the conversation happening next to him and instantly wishes he hadn’t because what he hears is, “Why did you just leave me in the morning then ignore all the texts I sent you, MJ?”

Peter’s body sags in his seat as a sense of apprehension overcomes him. He’s likely just missing context considering he’d missed part of the conversation…right?

His empty reassurances are just that-  _empty_ , because MJ quickly turns back to look at him to see if he’s listening and he makes a show of looking ahead at Abe to pretend like he wasn’t just listening to their conversation.

“Can we go and talk about this somewhere else?” MJ asks the other woman and she’s already getting out of her seat and walking to the back towards the bathrooms without waiting for Liz’s response.

MJ’s need for privacy pretty much confirms Peter’s suspicions about the context of their conversation. He feels disappointed but also stupid because it’s not like him and MJ had something, they’d slept with each other twice but both times were just MJ needing to distract herself from something that was weighing on her or worrying her. She’d also dodged any attempts to properly sit down and talk to him so he should’ve known.

Peter almost wants to laugh at how hurt he feels, and he momentarily considers buying a bunch of drinks to drown his sorrows but realises that’s not really who he is and buying lots of drinks would involve him having to stay here with MJ…with MJ and Liz.

Instead he uses MJ and Liz being gone as his window to make his goodbyes and promptly leave the bar.

When he gets back to the apartment he finds it empty thankfully because the last thing he wants is to be faced with Ned who’d be able to immediately to tell that something is wrong then pry it out of him, forcing him to admit he ran away from the bar because he got his feelings hurt like the pathetic idiot he is.

He changes out of the clothes he’s been in for coming up to sixteen hours now and takes a lengthy, hot shower. After he’s done he changes into fresh pajamas then orders some takeout when he realises how hungry he is considering he’d gone straight to the bar without eating first before.

He whiles up the time as he waits for his food by aimlessly tidying up around the apartment. He’s just adjusting the couch cushions for likely the hundredth time when the buzzer goes off indicating that someone’s downstairs.

He rushes to pick up the phone, expecting to hear some apathetic college student on the other end telling him they have his pizza but instead what he hears is, “Hi Peter. It’s uh, it's MJ.”

For a moment he doesn’t say anything nor does he move, he doesn’t even breathe.

MJ tries again, “Please can I come up?” After another stretch of silence where he doesn’t say anything she adds, “Promise I’m not drunk this time,” in an attempt to bring some levity to the moment but he hears her groan to herself almost immediately after she makes the joke.

“Uh, sure,” Peter eventually croaks out before pressing the button to open the door for her.

He just awkwardly hovers by the door unsure of what to do with himself, and as he’s deciding the doorbell rings. When he opens it he’s greeted by MJ on the other side holding his pizza.

“There was a delivery person downstairs when I got here so I paid for your pizza,” she explains. “Hope that’s okay,” she quickly adds, much quieter and nervous.

“Yeah, sure, that’s okay,” he says as he finally steps aside to let her through.

Peter stays where he is by the door, watching her walk into the apartment and he doesn’t know what to do or how to act seeing as it’s her first time back here since she’d drunkenly stumbled in here then stumbled out soon after, leaving him with a broken heart.

MJ herself walks around tentatively, similarly not really knowing what to do. She hesitates once she reaches their living area for a moment before she sets the pizza box on the coffee table then sits down on the couch. Peter notes how she sits right on the edge of the seat, seemingly unable to make herself comfortable; he figures she’s probably thinking about the last time she was here as well.

He finally moves to first go to the kitchen to grab some napkins then he comes to sit on the couch next to her, settling on the opposite end so he’s as far from her as possible whilst still being within reach of the pizza.

He offers her some napkins which she nervously takes from him then they eat the pizza in silence for a while until they’re both full then they sit there in further uncomfortable silence. The only sounds in the apartment are the dripping tap Peter’s landlord promised to fix a couple of weeks back but hasn’t yet, the constant hum of the fridge that came with the place, and the slight squeaking of the springs of the old couch each time either MJ or he shift positions.

“Peter I just wanted to-”

“Why are you here-” the pair start to say at the same time when the tense silence has stretched on for too long.

“You just left,” MJ says in response to his question.

He almost wants to make a snarky remark about how he thought she was too busy to notice him leave but it feels too snide, too  _mean_  for him so he swallows it down. “I was too tired to stay out,” he says instead, only half-lying.

MJ doesn’t say anything for a beat…then another and another then finally, “Liz and I, that was-”

At that Peter looks up and shifts his body slightly, sitting up to face her, his interest piqued.

“I’ve been really all over the place recently. I’m confused about what I want and I know I’m an adult and it’s dumb to blame my dad’s death but I just- I don’t know,” she gets out in a single breath. “Everything is so muddled, Peter. I thought I hated my dad and wanted nothing to do with him and yet his death has affected me as much as it has. And I thought I didn’t have feelings for you and didn’t want to be with you because we work together and yet…” she leaves the rest unsaid.

Peter’s breath catches in his throat and he has to hold himself still and hold his tongue to let her get it all out since it’s apparent she has a lot she wants to get off her chest.

“After Gwen-Stacy came in to the office that night I went to Liz because I was hurt, and it was dumb and I know it was immature and it’s not like you’d ever have gone there with her since she was a patient and all but I-” she pauses to take a breath in and out. “I just haven’t felt like myself for a while, I _still_ don’t feel like myself.”

Peter has always been incapable of feeling true anger or annoyance so whatever feelings he’d been harbouring since he left the bar melt away as he listens to MJ try to vocalise just what she’s been going through over the past few months. He is itching to scoot across the space between them and hold her, offer her even an ounce of comfort however empty and useless it might be to her but he knows that MJ should be the one to initiate anything like that and the last thing he'd want to do is to make her uncomfortable.

“I just want to get better,” MJ admits quietly almost to herself, her voice cracking slightly at the end in a way that breaks Peter’s heart.

“Can I…” he asks as he starts to shift his position so he can move closer to her.

She nods her consent and he moves to go to her side of the couch then he wraps her up closely in his arms, bringing her body to lie right up against his side. MJ automatically brings an arm to wrap around his front and rests her head on his shoulder.

Because of how they are sat with her draped over his body, he feels when her body starts to shake as she cries silently. He just holds her tighter to him and rubs a soothing hand over her back as he lets her get it all out. He doesn’t say anything because he senses that the last thing she wants right now is for him to draw attention to her crying considering how uncomfortable she usually gets with her own displays of emotion and he’s not sure what he’d even say to her anyway.

“I’m really sorry for hurting you Peter,” she gets out between sobs.

Peter pulls her impossibly closer to him and presses a kiss into her hair. “You haven’t hurt me MJ,” he reassures her. “You could never hurt me.”

He relaxes his grip on her then MJ unwraps one of her arms from around him and brings her hand up to her face before using the sleeve of the hoodie she has on to wipe at her face once her cries have subsided.

Without looking up at him she quietly tells him, “I have feelings for you and I want to be with you.”

Peter briefly pauses as he tries to process what she is saying to him- the words he’s dreamt of hearing from her for months now. He wraps his arms tighter around her then exhales with relief. “Me too,” he says quietly, lips against her forehead.

She slowly moves her head off his shoulder to look up at him then they watch each other, their eye contact sustained as neither say anything and he’s pretty sure they are both holding their breath.

His eyes briefly track down to her lips then move back up to meet her gaze again and before he knows it she’s leaned across the miniscule gap between them to press her lips firmly against his.

Their kiss is heated, intense and instantly takes his breath away.

MJ moves to straddle his legs and his arms instinctively comes to rest on her hips, pulling her closer to him so their centres almost align. She grinds down, only barely, against him which causes him to gasp allowing her to deepen this kiss.

Her arms slink around his neck and go to the hair at the nape of his neck which she scratches her short nails through in a way that causes a shiver to crawl down his spine. His hips also grind up into her almost at their own accord resulting in her making a small sound at the back of her throat that’s partly a moan and partly a whimper which truly leaves him breathless so he has to pull away from her lips to catch his breath.

He kisses a path down the column of her throat as he breathes deeply through his nose. His hands trace up from her hips to find the zipper of her hoodie which he tugs open then slips off her with MJ’s assistance.

His lips leisurely make their way back to hers to resume their previous making out whilst his hands start journeying back to her hips. His hands detour once they reach her waist, instead now travelling to her back where they sneak underneath the hem of her t-shirt to caress the warm, soft skin they find beneath cotton.

MJ’s hands are also roaming over his chest and abs over his t-shirt, mapping out his body until they reach the opening of his jeans. She doesn’t hesitate to unbutton and unzip them before she snakes her hand underneath the waistband of both his trousers and boxers.

She goes to grip him but the coldness of her hand serves as a cold bucket of water being thrown over him. This is everything he’s wanted for so long and he wants her so badly that he’s aching with desire but he can’t keep his thoughts about the circumstances under which they slept with each other the last time or the weird sinking feeling that he’s almost taking advantage of her by sleeping with her when she’s like this, like before, at bay. Call him needy but he needs some reassurance that they should be doing this, that they’re on the same page and want the same thing.

He pulls away from her inviting lips despite how much he doesn’t want to. “Em, let’s stop,” he pants out between heavy breaths.

He watches the rise and fall of her chest as she attempts to catch her breath and process what he’s just said to her. He watches her face flit through confusion to hurt before eventually she schools her features into an expression he can’t quite get a read on.

She moves to get off his lap then reaches for her previously discarded hoodie.

She’s moving to get up off the couch when Peter wraps a hand around her wrist and pulls her back to sit on the couch. “MJ, wait-” he tries to stop her. He feels like she’s misunderstood him stopping them and he doesn’t want her to think he doesn’t want this, doesn’t want _her_.

“No you’re right, we should stop. I keep using you Peter and I’m so sorry.”

He frowns slightly because he doesn’t know how she’s found a way to bring this back on herself when he’s the one who stopped them, to shoulder all the blame by herself. He tucks himself back into his pants then zips them back up before carrying their conversation on. “Stop apologising MJ. I told you, you could never hurt me and I’ve been a very willing participant, trust me,” he says jokingly, eyes briefly looking down to the still present evidence of just how much of a willing participant he is.

MJ snorts slightly in response before her face turns serious again. “I think even if I’ve come to you because of my feelings and because you were the person I want to be with deep down, the uh, the circumstances haven’t been all that healthy because I haven’t been honest with myself.”

She moves her hand to rest over his own which is in his lap and she gently rubs his knuckles in way he’s starting to become accustomed to her doing before she continues, “I haven’t felt like myself for a while and I think I wanna work on me first before we uh, _you know_ , so thanks for stopping us.”

Peter flips his hand over so his palm is facing up, allowing him to grasp her hand in his own. “Okay,” he tells her with an understanding smile. He wants to let her know that he’s always there should she need him in any way but the assured smile she gives him tells him that she knows what he’s thinking and he doesn’t need to say it out loud.

They stay like that for a while, her hand resting in his as her thumb rubs soothingly over the back of his hand whilst both their gazes are transfixed on the motions of her thumb, before she finally lets go of his hand then gets up.

“You can still stay if you, uh, if you want to I mean,” Peter rushes out almost desperately. He doesn’t want her to leave just yet, or  _ever_.

MJ smiles down at him, the smile half sad but half knowing, “I don’t think I can or should stay, Peter.”

He exhales audibly, slightly disappointed but also understanding where she’s coming from and her reasoning.

He gets up after her then they walk side by side to his front door in silence. MJ has just walked out into the hallway whilst he stands in his open doorway watching after her when she suddenly turns back around and hugs him, and even though this isn’t the first time she has hugged him it’s still as unexpected but as welcome as it has been each time she has.

They stay wrapped up in each other’s arms for a stretch of time, Peter’s arms around her waist with one of his hands resting on her lower back whilst MJ’s arms wrap around his neck with one of her hands slowly stroking the hair at the back of his head.

“I meant it when I said I wanna be with you,” she whispers into his ear, her warm breath fanning over the shell of his ear and across the nearby cheek making his knees feel slightly wobbly.

She then presses a lingering kiss to his cheek, her lips soft and warm in a way that in turn warms his insides and causes him to feel giddy. She pulls away and moves out of his grasp then walks away towards the stairwell without giving him a chance to respond to her.

She throws him one final smile before she goes through the stairwell door and he’s left watching after her with a goofy smile plastered on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact- I was originally gonna end the fic like this but realised it'd be cruel to end it w/out a true resolution and w/out more sm*t lol. Also let's just pretend hospitals don't have specified visiting hours so it makes sense that Peter and Justin were hanging out early in the morning...I mean I've already taken a lot of liberties throughout the fic anyway oops. Anywho, hope you enjoyed this latest installment and as always, comments and kudos are much appreciated!!
> 
> Find me @tvfanatic97-2 on tumblr and @dayaspsychic on twitter x


	11. Chapter 11

After having gone through a handful of last days of rotation there’s a certain comfortable familiarity that comes with working the shift. Relief permeates the air and everyone’s carefree and joyful, regardless of how stressful and busy the shift may get.

Peter is becoming accustomed to it now, but today feels different somehow. Likely because today marks the end of not just their time on the Endocrinology and Diabetes department, but the end of their first year of residency as a whole.

Knowing they’ve survived the full twelve months with all the highs and lows, the tears and joy and moments of self-doubt and impostor syndrome lifts the group’s mood to new heights and makes the general working environment feel much more relaxed than it would normally.

Coupled with this sense of calm over everyone is the fact that him and MJ have returned to a relative normal ever since their conversation where they admitted their feelings for each other nearly three months ago. Plus they’ve put work into rebuilding what they had before since said conversation.

Well, they haven’t truly returned to _normal_ as it were; in fact they’re now closer than they were before, more attuned to the other’s needs and feelings in a way that only comes from truly knowing someone and having been your most vulnerable in front of them the way both of them have been over the past year.

The previous flirtatious undertones and tension that colored all their interactions before is now further heightened, with each platonic or completely accidental touch- whether that be a brush of hands as they pass things between each other, a hand on a shoulder or back, or their knees accidentally bumping whenever they’re sat side-by-side doing paper work- feels new and exciting and _meaningful_.

Peter feels like his thirteen year old self experiencing a crush for the first time all over again each time MJ is in his presence with the giddiness and nerves that he experiences ever since she admitted to also having feelings for him.

“Dumbo are you even listening to me?” MJ asks, snapping him out of his musings.

Peter looks up from the cup of coffee he was staring down at to glare at MJ, “Can you come up with something else?”

“But it’s funny,” MJ retorts and dramatically pouts her lips in a way he finds adorable, before she breaks out into a wide, beaming grin.

Peter’s own lips automatically stretch out into a matching grin, the way he can’t help but do whenever he sees MJ smiling.

The pair just watch each other for a stretch of time, both shyly smiling at the other before their moment is interrupted by Abe, Cindy and Flash all walking into the breakroom together, their excited chatter breaking into the comfortable silence he and MJ had settled into.

MJ is first to quickly look away from him, her eyes moving to eye the thermos, the thermos which has recently been filled with her usual green tea rather than black coffee, in her hands with keen interest and Peter sees her bite down on her bottom lip to contain her smile as she tries to school her features.

“We made it boys!” Flash exclaims out into the breakroom in greeting. “I meant _boys_ in the gender neutral sense of course,” he quickly adds, eyes flitting between Cindy and MJ apologetically.

Abe and Cindy both make a sound halfway between a snort and a groan at Flash’s usual antics before the three of them come to settle on the couches near the table he and MJ are sitting on.

“Can you believe we actually survived our first year of residency? Like, we’re really a third of the way through residency,” Cindy adds excitedly after a moment, like the realisation has just hit her all over again.

The group break out into further excited chatter and small talk after that, whiling up the time before their shift is due to start.

Talk of plans for their usual end of rotation/end of first year drinks starts up and Peter’s eyes drift to meet MJ’s in a silent question. She nods her head once in response to his unspoken question before her eyes and attention go back to the other residents.

Soon after that the third year Brad comes to gather them all up and start the ward round which happens as it usually does except this time it goes much quicker than it would normally, likely because of everyone’s moods being lifted and everyone being unusually energetic courtesy of the knowledge that other than a few end of year assessments they have a lengthy break ahead of them to look forward to after today.

When the ward round is done, he and MJ work together to complete the jobs assigned to them and just like with the ward round, the rest of the day flies by with the pair bantering and engaging in mini competitions to see who can chase up results quicker, complete their share of paper work first or beat the other at doing their share of bloods.

Fortunately for the exhausted group of first years who are anxious to leave, the day ends up being a relatively calm one and they all finish at 7pm when they’re actually scheduled to finish work for once and the group separates with plans to meet up at their usual bar in an hour or two.

Peter and MJ hang around alone after the group has hurriedly left the hospital. They first pretend to be wrapping up some paperwork- though it’s more just an excuse to not leave each other just yet- before they realise they can’t stay at the hospital much longer since the night shift staff have started and they have to leave.

They silently and very slowly walk side-by-side out of the hospital, their arms close together and their hands accidentally brushing occasionally which causes Peter to awkwardly clear his throat in an attempt to stifle his excitable giggle. The tension and pull that’s been smouldering between them over the past few weeks has grown to a blazing inferno, and seems to have hit a climax today of all days likely because of how abuzz the day has been. Nevertheless, everything feels heightened so much so that they don’t need to exchange many words as they make their way to their bikes.

Peter walks her to her bike first and stands beside it as she unchains it and gets onto it, swinging back and forth anxiously on the balls of his feet as he watches her.

“I’m gonna see you again in like an hour,” MJ huffs exasperatedly, rolling her eyes fondly at him.

He feels blood rushing to his face and clears his throat to try and gain some sense of composure, “I know, I’m just being gentlemanly. Some of us actually have manners, you know.”

She rolls her eyes again before she leans over to him to press a quick peck to his cheek. “See you soon, Dumbo,” she says before cycling away from him before he can even react.

He watches after her for a moment and he has to ball his hands up into fists to resist the urge to bring a hand up to cradle the cheek she’d just kissed like a giddy teenager. Once she’s out of sight he then makes his way to his own bike and cycles home.

When he gets home he has a quick shower and changes into fresh clothes and he’s just digging into Ned’s leftover Kare-Kare trying to be as quick as possible so he finishes it before Ned gets home and catches him eating his food when the man in question walks into the apartment, with Betty in tow.

“I can explain,” he rushes out to explain, feeling like a deer caught in headlights.

Ned’s eyes go to him then to the dish in his hands then back to his face, “I’ll let it slide… _this time_.”

“Hi Peter,” Betty greets him sweetly, ignoring their little food stand-off.

He only smiles back at her as he continues eating.

“So,” Betty starts in a sing-songy tone which unsettles Peter slightly, as she comes to sit on the couch next to him. “Are you going to your usual end of rotation drinks tonight?”

Peter swallows down his food before responding, “Yeah.”

“And is MJ going too?” she continues her questioning and Peter isn’t sure where this is going.

“She said she would,” he responds uneasily.

“Cool,” she says nodding her head slightly. Peter thinks that’s the end of it but then she carries on, “Just so you know I’m spending the night here so you and MJ have our apartment all to yourselves ton-”

Peter gulps down his food forcefully as he feels blood starting to rush to his face. “Wow I’m so full. I think I’m gonna head out and leave you guys to it,” he rushes out, scrambling off the couch to go and throw away the mostly unfinished food still on his plate and run away from this conversation.

Once Peter has thrown away the food and washed his dirty dishes he turns to find Ned leant against the doorjamb of their kitchen door. “You headed out?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says as he dries his hands.

“Oh _tomorrow_ huh?” Ned asks, his eyebrows hiking up to his forehead.

Peter groans audibly at his word choice. “No, no, I meant because when I get back you’ll likely be asleep so I won’t see you till tomorrow,” he tries to explain but eventually gives up when he sees that Ned still has the smug look on his face and is likely not gonna let this go. “Yeah okay, I’m gonna go,” he says as he squeezes past Ned to leave.

“Bye!” Ned and Betty simultaneously shout after him as he’s putting his hoodie on by the door. “Don’t forget protection!” Ned adds before Peter decides he can finish putting his hoodie on outside of the apartment, _away_ from the overbearing couple.

He finishes zipping up his hoodie out in the hallway and he’s just about to make his way out of the building when he realises he forgot the package he was gonna take with him in the apartment so he unlocks the apartment door and goes back in.

“Realised you forgot that protection I was telling you about?” Ned asks him bemusedly when he’s back in the living room.

“Shut up,” Peter retorts before he grabs the plastic bag he came back for before practically running out of the apartment before the couple can start teasing him again.

Half an hour later he arrives at the bar and the scene before him is so familiar, with everyone having taken up their usual corner table. Flash even does his usual routine of loudly announcing his presence, except this time he doesn’t bother to ask Peter to buy the next round.

Peter settles into his usual spot next to MJ like he always does, bumping his knee against hers briefly to draw her attention to him so he can greet her.

She turns to him with small smile that’s reserved just for him, “Tardy as always huh, Dumbo?”

“My time keeping isn’t _that_ bad- at least not anymore. I’m always early to work,” Peter defends himself.

“Yeah but that’s only because you wanna impress me,” she retorts with a wink and though Peter knows she’s joking he can’t help the warmth that blooms in his cheeks because there’s maybe some truth to her joke-y statement.

“Shut up,” is all he can come up with.

MJ snorts at his lack of wit before the two of them turn their attention back to the rest of the group. After that they settle into mainly observing their colleagues’ drunken antics and occasionally contributing to the conversation.

Peter tries his best to focus on the conversations happening around him, he really does, but he’s too distracted by MJ. Instead of focusing on the humorous anecdotes the group exchanges, his attention is zeroed in on every point of contact between them where they’re sat close enough for their shoulders and legs to be pressed against each other.

Through their points of contact he can feel the warmth emanating from her and the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes slowly with slight hitches that he doesn’t miss, whilst he for his part holds his breath, just taking it all in- taking _her_ in.

He doesn’t realise he’s not even looking at the rest of group under some pretence of paying attention to whatever they’re talking about anymore until Cindy pointedly, slightly drunkenly, calls him out, “Peter you lovesick puppy, are you even listening to us?”

Peter hurriedly snaps his gaze away from MJ to face the group but not before noting the slight bemused quirk of the corner of MJ’s mouth. He’s too embarrassed to defend himself or come up with some excuse or even look Cindy in the eye so instead he focuses on drinking from his glass of water whilst he wills the furious blush and heat in his cheeks to subside.

“Abe, let’s do rock, paper, scissors to decide who has to buy the next round,” Flash announces, fortunately taking everyone’s attention away from Peter.

He exhales with relief and thinks he’s in the clear as his eyes automatically drift back to MJ but MJ chooses that exact moment to speak, “What are you, obsessed with me?”

Peter feels the blood start rushing to his face yet again as he scrambles for an explanation or a retort that might knock her off kilter the way he currently feels. “Yeah, something like that,” he breathes out shyly.

MJ turns to look at him and her eyes dance with a flurry of excitement and anticipation, and she has a barely contained smile. “Me too,” she whispers.

Peter resists the urge to shy away from her gaze and instead holds her stare and they stay like that for a stretch of time, gazes fixated on the other with no words exchanged.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna head home. I’m exhausted,” MJ suddenly announces to the group though she holds her eye contact with him even as she addresses the others.

They all make half-hearted protests about her being boring, more like it’s part of their routine to chastise her for never staying out long even if they’re used to it and expect it from her, but Peter barely pays any attention to them. He’s captivated by MJ’s intense and heated gaze that she still continues to hold on him.

He can feel himself becoming breathless, and a wave of desire blooms within him and he thinks he might just do something stupid like give in to the urge to lean forward and kiss her right then and there but MJ gets up out of her seat before he can give into the pull. She then gathers her things and leaves the bar but not before turning back to give him one more sly, suggestive smirk.

 

* * *

 

MJ can’t stand still as she waits outside the bar, her body practically vibrating with nervous anticipation. She hopes she hasn’t misread this, hopes that he got what she’s been trying to communicate to him tonight and for the past few weeks at least- that’s she’s ready and wants this, wants _him_. Most of all she really hopes that he’ll come and join her outside and won’t think that she left because she still needs time and space or whatever, because that’s the kind of considerate thing he would do.

Panic is starting to bubble within her when he suddenly appears, coming to stand beside her.

“Looks like I’m pretty exhausted too,” he beams. He has a small pleased smirk on his face when she turns sideways to look at him that she should roll her eyes at but instead she grins affectionately, like she can’t help it.

“What’s in the bag?” She asks eyeing the plastic bag he’s holding in an attempt to retain an ounce of her cool, apathetic façade and regain her composure so she can stop being so giggly and nervous as she’s been around him a lot as of late.

He simply shrugs in response to her question and she wants to question him some more about the mysterious bag and its contents but he’s at some point moved closer to stand beside her and now has her hand in his so the words die down in her throat.  Her eyes shift to focus on their joined hands and she’s embarrassed by how giddy having her hand wrapped in his makes her considering she’s an adult who shouldn’t be so excited by something as simple as holding hands with the boy she likes but she decides _to hell with it_ , she’s allowed to be excited about something new and important like this so she moves to interlock their fingers and grasp his hand even tighter in hers.

“I’ve ordered an Uber,” is all she says and she doesn’t bother to clarify or say anything more beyond that but Peter seems to understand the unspoken invitation as he nods his head in reply.

Soon after that their Uber pulls up in front of them and she begrudgingly lets go of his hand so they can get into the car.

They both sit in the back seat, nicely buckled in and with a respectable distance between them and they don’t hold hands or even touch each other again. MJ’s thoughts drift back to that first night a year ago now, where the ride back to her place had been spent making out and almost undressing each other in the back seat. She snorts at how this ride is in direct contrast to that and Peter turns sideways to look at her questioningly at the sound but she just shakes her head and smiles, wordlessly telling him it’s nothing. He eyes her curiously then he goes back to facing out of the window and she goes back to watching his profile which is backlit by the city lights as she off-handedly wonders if he’s always been so pretty.

She continues to watch him once they get to her building and they make their way up to her apartment whilst Peter for his part mostly does everything in his power to avoid meeting her gaze, and looks everywhere but at her.

He only finally looks at her once they’re in her apartment, having taken off their shoes and other outerwear, and are sat side-by-side on her small couch. “You wanted to know what’s in the bag so here,” he says as he hands the bag in question over to her.

MJ pauses, looking from the bag then to Peter, slightly confused about what he could possibly be giving her until Peter rushes out a, “Can you just open it MJ? _Please_?”

She bites her bottom lip to contain a laugh and a retort about his impatience and instead does as she’s asked and opens the bag. Inside she finds a wooden box, she thinks it’s made of oak, and when she has it out of the bag and takes a closer look at it she notices that there’s writing intricately carved into the faces of the box- a bunch of her favorite literary quotes from her favorite books.

Her breath catches in her throat as she realises that between the carefully selected quotes carved into it and the intricate design, the box is likely hand-made, especially crafted just for her. “Peter…” she starts to say but her voice cracks because she’s suddenly very emotional and she almost wants to chastise herself because why on earth is she about to cry, this is a good thing- this is a _happy_ moment.

“There’s, uh, there’s more inside,” he tells her, his voice barely above a whisper and his hand going to scratch the back of his neck nervously.

Her fingers wrap around the handle that’s shaped like the chest piece of a stethoscope and she briefly snorts at the choice before opening the box up. Inside it she finds a selection of what she immediately recognises to be an assortment of green tea- sencha, matcha, shincha and so much more. “Peter, oh my God,” is all she can manage to get out, too overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness of the gesture, and the sheer effort it must have taken him to put all this together considering some of these teas aren’t readily available at most local stores.

“It’s nothing. Consider it a well done gift for not only surviving but smashing your first year of residency, or whatever,” he responds shyly.

She looks up at him with a wide smile and notices how his face and neck have gone bright and red. “Thank you, this is- this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” she admits quietly.

He shrugs like it’s no problem, “It’s okay. I just thought you’d appreciate it since you love green tea so much. Although, you know how you told me that green tea has more caffeine than coffee? Well, that’s not true because I looked it up after you said and coffee has on average 40 milligrams of caffeine per 100 grams whilst green tea has-”

MJ interjects before he gets carried away on his mini rant, “Peter, please.”

“Right, sorry. I’m glad you like it, _Em_ ,” he says once he’s relatively calm again though MJ sees that his leg is still bouncing up and down repeatedly. He clears his throat and moves to get off the couch, “Do you wanna try some of the green tea? You can show me how to make it for you because I’m not a tea person.”

MJ again has to contain a grin at the nerves bouncing off him. “No Peter. Making tea isn’t what I wanna do right now,” she says plainly, eyeing him pointedly.

“Oh, right. Duh,” he says with a nervous laugh and an exhale as he settles back down onto the couch.

MJ sets the bag and box on the coffee table then they sit there in silence for a beat…then two…then MJ finally turns her body to face Peter more. “Can I kiss you?” she asks quietly, nervously.

Peter’s eyes widen in surprise and it’s so endearing and MJ wants to tease him for his reaction but he wraps a solid arm around her waist and pulls her body towards his and has his lips pressed against hers before she can even blink much less open her mouth to make a snarky remark.

Peter presses his lips against hers almost insistently and it’s dizzying and takes her breath away. She welcomes his tongue when he grazes a slow path along her bottom lip, seeking entrance which she readily, almost desperately grants him. Through the kiss he’s able to communicate so much to her and this time she readily accepts what he tells her through his searing kiss and his touch as his hands languidly and leisurely roam over her body and heat up the skin everywhere he touches.

She tries to reciprocate the message as she returns his kiss with equal fervour and moves so she’s straddling his lap. She tries to communicate all the feelings bubbling within her to him through not just the kiss but also through her hands, one of which slowly runs through his tresses whilst the other aimlessly wonders over his face, to his jaw, to his neck, then all over his front before briefly dipping down the neckline of his t-shirt to caress the warm skin she finds beneath. Through his kisses and his touch Peter always manages to make her feel so cherished and so adored and she hopes he feels that from her too.

At some point, she’s too caught up in _him_ to realise when that point was, Peter has moved off the couch whilst holding her to him then carries her to her bedroom, ensuring he switches all the lights on their way off because that’s just Peter. He carefully places her on the bed, separating from her and breaking their kiss as he goes to switch on her bedside lamp and MJ makes a small whiny sound at the back of her throat in protest before he comes to hover over her and resumes their kissing.

When breathing becomes a necessity they both pull apart and whilst she tries to catch her breath, his lips map out a path down to her jaw and her neck.

MJ puts a hand out to push him away slightly then she pulls her top over her head and throws it into the abyss of the darkened corner of her room in the vague direction of where her laundry hamper is. She then wraps her arms around his shoulders to pull him back down to lie over her and he resumes kissing along the column of her neck.

“I can’t wait to learn you, to _know you_ ,” he says between the kisses he presses to the skin of her neck and she gasps at his words as an involuntary shiver travels down her spine all the way to the tips of her toes, making them feel tingly. She puts a hand into his hair to bring his mouth back to hers but he just snorts good-naturedly at her before he diverts his lips away from hers to continue kissing a path down her chest.

He spends time paying attention to the dusky skin his lips find seeing as she hadn’t bothered with a bra tonight. MJ watches him alternating between using his mouth and his hands for a moment, his motions causing her breathing to grow uneven and erratic, before she closes her eyes and settles more into the bed. The other times they’ve slept together she’d had a hundred other things on her mind and hadn’t allowed herself to get caught up in him but now she sighs contentedly as she allows herself to revel in the sensations he draws out of her.

He continues tracing a path down her body using his mouth then pauses when he reaches the waistband of her jeans before pulling away to pull the jeans down her legs followed by her underwear and he does so so tortuously slowly that MJ impatiently huffs out, “Stop being such a tease.”

He smirks at having gotten her so wound up before pressing a kiss to the inside of her left ankle which he’s holding up. “Just relax, Harvard,” he teases as he kisses up along her leg from her ankle whilst he moves to lie her leg and himself back down on the bed.

He continues to tease her, slowly kissing up her legs towards where she’s wanting as he alternates between both of her legs. “You NYU people are so slow,” she says, going for teasing and snarky but instead sounding breathless with a hint of a moan.

Instead of retorting Peter’s mouth finally closes around her effectively shutting her up with the exception of her giving him a bit of guidance when it’s too much or when it’s just right and she wants him to stay right there and carry on doing what he’s doing.

In an embarrassingly short amount of time her back is bowing off the bed as her orgasm washes over her, blindsiding her in how sudden it is so much so that she momentarily thinks she might black out.

He slows his ministrations to coax her through her orgasm then once she’s over the most it he finally moves off her and comes to lie beside her. He gently peppers kisses over her neck and shoulder, one of his hands gently tracing the skin of her abdomen around her navel before tracing up to her chest and teasingly circling around the sensitive skin of her nipples. They stay like that for what could be minutes or could be hours whilst he gives her time to catch her breath and fully recover whilst she wills her legs to stop shaking.

Once she feels like she can move- can _breathe_ \- she lazily flips over so she’s laying on her side facing him.

Peter watches her with a smug look on his face. “Hi,” he whispers, his warmth breath fanning over her face as he speaks.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Peter snorts, feigning innocence.

“I know what you’re thinking but just wait till I return the favour. You’ll see that I really am better than you at everything.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks with an amused smirk as he brings an arm to wrap around her waist and pull her impossibly closer so she is pressed up against him.

“Yeah,” she says as she pushes him onto his back and lifts a leg over him so she’s now straddling him. “But maybe another time,” she adds half-distractedly, her attention now on lifting the hem of his t-shirt until Peter gets the hint and sits up to help her divest him of it.

Once the t-shirt is gone and they’re skin to skin she presses a kiss against his lips, the kiss languid and exploratory like they have all the time in the world. She gets lost in the sensations of his tongue pressing against her own, in the warmth of his hands which hungrily roam over her back and dip down to squeeze the flesh of her behind.

She moves to seek out friction when she gets carried away and the scrape of denim beneath her reminds her that he’s still only half undressed whilst she’s completely bare before him so she pulls away from him. “Take your pants off, slowpoke,” she instructs him before getting off him to fetch a condom whilst he strips.

She moves to straddle his now bare lying form and they work together to get the condom on him then she takes him in at her own pace. She moves at an unrushed pace with her hands resting on his chest for leverage whilst Peter rests his hands on her waist happy for her to take the reins as he watches her, his expression open and adoring.

She feels oddly exposed and vulnerable under the scrutiny of his gaze and part of her wants to shrink away from it, to hide away from this because she’s so unaccustomed to being this open and vulnerable with someone but she suppresses the urge. She reminds herself that Peter has already seen all of her, and she’s been at her most vulnerable in front of him and yet he’s still here, before she moves her hands to clasp his own then she tugs on them gently until Peter sits up bringing them chest to chest so their faces are mere inches apart.

“This is nice,” Peter says his tone meant to be teasing and blasé but the way he looks up at her is far too adoring and worshipful to come off teasing.

“Do you ever shut up?” she breathlessly huffs. Feeling emboldened by the appreciative expression he watches her with, she holds his gaze as she continues to move, her hands grasping his shoulders as her pace gradually increases, starting the steady incline to the peak.

Peter brings his face closer to her, lips hovering just over hers but he doesn’t kiss her and instead just rubs his nose up an down against hers fondly as he breathes her in. His hands that were resting on her lower back snake down, one going to flick at the bundle of nerves at her apex and the other going to rest below her to aid her movements and help her along.

As the speed of their movements increases her inner thighs start to burn slightly from the exertion and Peter must sense it because he impatiently flips them over whilst keeping them connected, and MJ whimpers at the jostling movement.

She doesn’t have it in her to complain as he starts moving again and resumes the motions of his thumb over her sensitive nub almost straight away. He continues until they both stumble to their finish then he collapses over her, laying all his weight on her.

Once he’s caught his breath he presses a quick peck to her neck then to the tip of her nose and MJ scrunches her nose at the action. “Gross,” she complains but she still takes his hand as he pulls her up so they can head to the bathroom.

They take turns peeing then shower together and though her apartment shower isn’t quite big enough to fit the both of them they’re so in sync and work so well together that they’re able to make it work, taking turns under the spray of the water- though she warns him not to get his hair wet otherwise he can’t sleep in her bed.

When they’re done MJ’s wraps herself up in her fluffy robe and gives her towel to Peter which he wraps around his chest, and makes a show of securing it to ensure she can’t see his nipples which makes MJ giggle. She brushes her teeth whilst he watches then when she’s done he puts more toothpaste on the toothbrush and moves to brush his own teeth and she watches him with disgust, “Ew, that’s my toothbrush. What are you doing?”

Peter scoffs, “I don’t see why me using your toothbrush is such a big deal when we’ve exchanged saliva and I literally a-”

MJ shoves the toothbrush into his mouth to stop him finishing that sentence and he makes exaggerated choking noises then laughs at her before brushing his teeth whilst MJ watches him with an uncontrollable grin plastered on her face.

She forgoes her own pyjamas and instead wears his previously discarded boxers and t-shirt whilst he wears baggy sweatpants she lends him then they settle into bed, her on her back and Peter lying his head on her chest whilst her fingers card through his curls.

She laughs loudly and heartily as Peter recounts how he’d been tormented- his word- by Ned and Betty before coming to the bar about using protection. Peter moves his head off her chest and rests it on his elbow to watch her laughing.

“What?” she asks when she notices his stare once she’s stopped laughing at him long enough to speak, that is.

“Nothing,” he replies with a dopey smile on his face and she would mock him for it if it wasn’t for the fact that she probably wears a matching one on her face.

“That’s what I thought, Dumbo,” she says gently tugging at one of his ears before wrapping her arms around his neck to get him to lie down on her chest again.

He moves out of her grasp so he can reach across the bed to switch the bedside lamp off before laying back down, his arm wrapping snugly around her waist to bring her impossibly closer whilst his face nestles into the crook of her neck which he presses a peck to.

“Night, MJ,” he breathes out against her neck and his breathing starts to even out suggesting he’s already falling asleep.

“Night… _Peter_ ,” she whispers into the darkness, feeling content and lighter than she has in a while despite how much of his weight Peter is resting on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have put up w some mild angst so thought you deserved some light happy stuff so hope you enjoyed this latest chapter!! As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated, I am so needy when it comes to feedback so PLS
> 
> Find me on tumblr @tvfanatic97-2 and on twitter @dayaspsychic x


	12. Epilogue

MJ rolls her shoulders in a feeble attempt to release some of the tension there and exhales deeply. She feels exhausted after completing a busy 48-hour on-call shift but all the tension just sort of melts away and a wide grin automatically breaks out on her face at the sight of the figure waiting a few yards ahead of her. “You know, you sure do spend a lot of time here for someone who doesn’t even work here anymore,” she teases in greeting.

He doesn’t respond to her jibe and instead moves to peck her on the lips once she’s close enough. He pulls away when she tries to deepen the kiss and she whines and pouts petulantly at the loss of contact which causes him to snort at her, “Good evening to you too, MJ.”

She leans forward to give him another kiss, this one deeper and more lingering, and his arms move to wrap around her waist and pull her closer. “Hi Pete,” she greets with a small smile when she pulls away. He smiles back at her before he removes his arms from around her and takes a small step back, allowing her to remove her bag from her back and hold it up between them.

“How was your day?” he inquires as he holds her backpack for her so she can find her helmet.

“Eh it was…” she mumbles half-distractedly as she looks through her bag. Once she’s got the helmet out she looks up at him, “It was okay, but work is boring now that we’re not working together.”

“Oh, _really_?” Peter questions, eyebrows raised in surprise at her honest admission as he puts her bag on his back.

“Yep,” she affirms. “It’s not like I can have sex with Abe in the on-call room,” she adds.

Peter sputters momentarily before he recovers, “ _We_ never had sex in the on-call room. Or the hospital in general.”

“We could have if you hadn’t run away and applied to do a Paeds residency at another hospital,” she teases with a small pout.

“Why would I even want to have sex in the on-call room anyway? That’s so gross and we’d be defiling it for other people who use it, that’s so inconsiderate. This isn’t ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ MJ,” he rants incredulously as he gets onto his bike which was chained up next to hers.

MJ smirks triumphantly at successfully having gotten him riled up as she unlocks her bike before climbing onto it then watching him rant for a moment.

He carries on, “And I didn’t run away, I told you I realised that I actually wanted to work with kids instead.”

“Yeah that’s what you say but I know it’s really because working with me once we were together would’ve been too distracting for you. And you’re already pretty slow and can’t keep up with me without the added distraction,” she says with a faux-pitying tone, trying her best to contain her grin then she cycles away before he has the chance to retort.

Once they’re back at his apartment she dumps her bag in his bedroom then goes to shower whilst he makes his way to the kitchen to carry on working on their dinner.

When she’s washed the smell of the hospital off her she comes out of the shower and changes into one of his t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants which are slightly too short on her, coming to rest above her ankles, before padding to the kitchen to watch him working the dough on the kitchen counter.

“When will Ned and Betty be here?” she asks as she moves to perch on the free counter opposite, feet swinging back and forth as she watches him.

“Uh, in like half an hour to 45 minutes, maybe?” he replies distractedly.

She wordlessly hums in response as she continues watching him work. He’s quietly singing “Dancing Queen” and his hips bop along to his singing as he works the dough, the muscles of his back and arms twitching with his movements. She can’t see his face from where she’s sat but she can picture his concentrated expression with brows knitted together.

MJ continues to watch on with a barely contained smile, a familiar fluttering in her chest and a coil of arousal low in her belly blooming. She swings off the counter and crosses the small space of the kitchen to go to him and he’s so intently focused on the task at hand that he doesn’t notice her until she’s stood behind him with her chin resting on his shoulder so she can watch him work.

He startles slightly at her presence before recovering, relaxing completely and unconsciously leaning back against her then carrying on rolling the dough flat.

“You’re so pretentious for making your own fresh pasta,” she comments as her arms come to wrap around his middle.

He snorts at the accusation, “I once promised Betty I’d make her amazing pasta so I’m _gonna_ make her amazing pasta.”

She carries on watching him fold the dough before rolling it flat with the rolling pin a few times, slightly mesmerised by his actions, before her hands that were lightly resting on his stomach trail down. She dips her hands beneath the hem of his t-shirt then lets the tips of her fingers teasingly dance over the warm, sensitive skin just above the waistband of his sweatpants.

Peter’s breath hitches slightly and she feels him tense up momentarily before he shakily exhales in an attempt to re-compose himself. “I need to finish making this pasta, MJ,” he warns, voice sounding more breathless than he probably intended.

MJ turns her head to press a kiss to his neck as one of her hands ventures beneath the waistband of his sweatpants before lightly resting over him, not cupping him or anything but allowing the warm weight of her hand to press against him. “You can just use boxed pasta, it’d be quicker,” she whispers into his ear as she peppers kisses over the shell of his ear.

“Em-” he starts to protest but pauses to catch his breath when she moves her hand up and down over him in a teasing manner.

“C’mon, Peter. Please,” she almost pleads.

Peter takes a deep breath in then out as he looks from the clock on the microwave to the pasta dough in front of him before finally reaching a decision. He moves out of her grasp and rolls the dough up into a ball which he moves to throw in the trash can before he wipes down the counter previously covered in flour.

“This is such a waste of perfectly good pasta dough; you know that right?” he complains once he’s done cleaning up as he guides her out of the kitchen from behind her with two hands that lightly rest on her waist so he can steer her in the direction of his bedroom.

She turns around in his arms to face him. “I’ll make it up to you, promise,” she teases before pressing her lips against his.

Peter groans gratifyingly when the kiss deepens, her tongue dipping into his mouth, as his hands move to properly wrap around her waist and bring her body to press against his.

They stay like that, just heatedly making out whilst their hands roam hungrily over the other, for a prolonged moment until Peter reluctantly pulls away. “C’mon, we gotta be quick,” he says as he grabs her hand and drags her to his bedroom.

After closing the door behind them he moves to reconnect their lips, his hands wondering down to pull her- or his, _whatever_ \- t-shirt off.

“Woah, woah, not so fast there Dumbo. I’m in charge,” MJ protests, not so ready to relinquish her control. She instead pulls the t-shirt and sweatpants off him then pushes him not so gently onto the bed, before divesting herself of her borrowed t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Being at the hospital makes you all hot and bothered, huh?” Peter jokingly asks as he sits up and brings his lips to press against the underside of her jaw once she comes to straddle him.

She closes her eyes and allows herself a moment to revel in the way he kisses and gently nips at the sensitive skin of her jaw before going to continue the same ministrations by her ear. She hums in response to his question, “Yep, which is why we could’ve been having sex in the on-call room if you were still at the Presbyterian.”

Peter offers no response and instead laughs lowly before trailing his lips back up to meet hers as his hand that’s not wrapped around her waist snakes down to draw small, teasing circles over her sensitive nub over the cotton of her underwear.

His kiss is quite sloppy and insistent as he moves to push her underwear aside and continue his motions without the barrier of the cotton. The sensations he draws out of her coupled with the heated kiss makes her feel both over-stimulated and breathless so she has to pull away from him to take a deep shuddering breath in.

“Ned and Betty will be back soon, we should hurry,” she gets out between heavy breaths, her hips grinding down onto his fingers in contradiction to her words.

“Okay,” he says before withdrawing his fingers. He then reclines back against the pillows with one hand coming to prop his head up so he can watch her whilst he brings his other to his lips to clean his fingers.

MJ watches him intently, mesmerised by the action before she snaps out of her haze and reaches across to his bedside table to grab a condom. She removes her own underwear but doesn’t bother to fully remove Peter’s boxers, only pushing them down as much as is needed to get the condom on him.

“You’re on top,” she declares.

“What happened to “ _I’m in charge_ ”,” he jokes, though he moves to switch their positions.

“I _am_ in charge and I’m telling you to get on top,” she declares with an authoritative tone. “Plus, I’ve just done a 48-hour on call,” she adds before reaching a hand down to align him properly.

He presses a misplaced kiss to the corner of her mouth and hooks a hand underneath her right knee to bring her leg up higher and alter the angle as he starts to move with no delay considering they don’t have much time on their hands.

It’s dirty and it’s rough and within just a few minutes MJ is finishing with a particularly loud breathless moan then Peter joins her soon after, biting into her shoulder to muffle his own sounds before he collapses on her.

Her legs that were wrapped tightly around his torso slacken and her nails which were digging into the skin of his back let go as she pulls her hands away from his sweaty back and he winces at the sting. “What happened to “ _You could never hurt me MJ_ ”,” she teases with a laugh.

“Shut up,” he pants out half-heartedly.

She pushes him off her so she can properly catch her breath without his full weight pressing down on her. They both cringe slightly as he pulls out of her before moving off her, laying down right next to her with his head pillowed on her chest.

They stay like that for a few moments, the only sounds in the room being their heavy breathing until they hear the sound of the front door opening and distant voices, indicating that Ned and Betty are home.

Peter is first to move, pressing a brief peck to the underside of her boob then to her neck before finishing off with a peck to the tip of her nose as he always does before he moves off her to dispose of the condom and start getting dressed again.

MJ stretches her limbs lazily from the bed, head turned to the side as she looks at the recently framed picture of her and Peter’s aunt that now sits on his bedside table next to the alarm clock. She turns her head back and props it up on the pillow so she can comfortably watch him pull his boxers back up and slip back into his sweatpants instead of moving to get dressed herself.

After re-tying her hair up in the high ponytail that it’d fallen out of she eventually gets up to get dressed herself after she realises she can’t just stay on the bed watching him forever, as much as she would like to.

Once she’s done getting dressed she fondly watches Peter as he runs his fingers through his hair in some futile attempt to make it look like they hadn’t just been having sex before their friends got home. “C’mere,” she mumbles before grabbing his hand and pushing him to sit on the edge of the bed.

She stands in between his legs and does her best to make his hair look neat again whilst he closes his eyes contentedly, sighing every so often at the soothing motions of her nails scratching against his scalp.

“There, all done,” she says when she gives up on her efforts- it’s just sex, Ned and Betty will get over it.

“Thank you,” Peter says earnestly. He looks up at her with a dopey, content smile- the one he always has after they have sex- and she can’t help but return it.

He moves to get off the bed but she presses a firm hand on his shoulder so he stays put. She then places her hand on his chin and uses it to tilt his head up so he’s looking up directly at her before she leans down slightly to ensure he’s looking directly into her eyes then, “I love you.”

She holds his gaze and doesn’t shy away from it despite the temptation for a prolonged stretch of time, allowing the words to hang in the air between them and sink in before she stands up and walks out of the room to go and greet their friends who are calling their names, leaving Peter behind.

 

* * *

 

When MJ has left the room and the door closes behind her Peter exhales audibly, finally feeling like he can breathe again.

He stays sitting on the bed and allows her words to wash over him and warm him from deep within, the warmth spreading outward until he feels his cheeks heat up as well. He doesn’t even care how he must look sat in his room by himself, smiling at nothing like the dumbass he is but he feels so content and so unbelievably happy that it takes him a moment to realise he hadn’t actually said it back.

Of course he feels the same way and has done for a while now, he’s even told her more than a handful of times- _granted_ , it was whispered into the dark in the middle of the night whilst she was asleep in his arms because he didn’t want to push her or scare her with the declaration if she wasn’t ready for it- but still, he really should’ve said it back to her just then. He knows how much courage it must have taken her to be so open with her feelings like that and he really should’ve said it back instead of sitting there silently.

He hurriedly gets up off the bed intent on letting MJ know just how much he loves her but his steps falter when he goes into the living area and finds his friends chatting happily. MJ looks content and carefree as she laughs at whatever Ned is telling her and Betty so he just stays put, leaning against the doorjamb of his bedroom door to continue watching her unabashedly. She doesn’t seem tense or anything after her previous confession which makes him sigh with relief.

He doesn’t get to watch her for long though, as she almost immediately notices his presence. “Oh Peter, hey. I was just telling Ned and Betty that you didn’t have time to cook since you had to come and pick me up and I finished late and all,” she says the lie easily and with a small knowing smile which he returns before quickly looking away from her before his cheeks start to redden at the thought of what they’d been doing just ten minutes before.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry guys. How about I order takeout from my favorite Italian place to make it up you?” he says as he finally moves to go and join them.

“Already done dude,” Ned tells him in greeting.

“I still expect you to make me that home-made pasta at some point, Peter,” Betty warns him, her eyes narrowed in a way that shouldn’t be so threatening given her small frame.

He lifts his hands up in surrender, “I promise I will.”

The group fall into easy chatter after that, Ned and Betty settling on the larger couch whilst MJ is on the armchair and Peter is perched on the armrest of MJ’s armchair. They’re interrupted by the buzzer signalling that their food has arrived.

“We’ll go get the food downstairs, you guys set up the table,” Betty instructs already moving off the couch, just expecting everyone to do as she says. Which they do, of course.

When the other couple has left the apartment, him and MJ get to work with her grabbing plates and cutlery and him unfolding the table to make it bigger so it can accommodate four people before they set it up together. Ned had insisted they get the table that can fit four people for the apartment when him and MJ officially got together for “all the double dates, dude”.

“Hey MJ?” he asks quietly once they’re finished and have sat down next to each other on one side of the table. He waits for her to look up so he can meet her eye then tells her, “I love you too, by the way. Just in case that wasn’t clear.”

She reaches a hand forward and let hers fingers gently caress his jaw, the affectionate gesture making him shiver slightly and grin but it’s ruined when she moves her hand to tug at his earlobe. “I know you dumbass. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever gonna actually say it to me rather than to a darkened room,” she teases, tugging at his ear one last time before extricating her hand.

“You- you were _awake_ all those times?” he exclaims, his cheeks heating up at the thought of her hearing his quiet confessions.

“Depends on how many times there were,” she fires back with a simple shrug and a smug smile and Ned and Betty walk into the apartment with dinner meaning they can’t carry on their conversation.

They help Ned and Betty unpack all the food they’ve bought then settle to dig into it.

Peter doesn’t contribute much to the group conversation as they eat their food then once they’re done as well, instead focusing mostly on MJ. He sits diagonally in his chair to allow him to watch her whilst still not coming off as rude to Ned and Betty. He watches the changes in her facial expression and body language as she listens to either Betty or Ned tell a story or tells one herself- the furrow of her brow when she’s listening intently, the way she’ll bring her hand up and gesticulate when she’s the one telling a story, the way the corner her eye closest to him crinkles when she smiles bemusedly, or the way she throws her head back in laughter when she finds something particularly funny.

He’s further distracted by the fact that her other hand that she’s not using to gesticulate when she talks sits high up on his thigh. She’s not doing anything that would be considered inappropriate, her hand just lightly rests on his thigh and she likely doesn’t even realise just how close to his crotch her hand is resting but that doesn’t stop how acutely hyper-aware of the weight and warmth of her hand he is.

His hand which was resting on the back of her chair unconsciously moves to lightly rest on the exposed skin at the juncture of her back and neck, fingers caressing the soft, warm skin. He continues watching her listening to the other couple and periodically give responses where necessary but he has no idea what they’re even talking about. He’s too distracted by the supple skin his fingers run over and he smiles slyly to himself at the small reddish purple bruise he finds when he shifts the neckline of the t-shirt away to expose more skin to run his fingertips over.

The way she’d told him she loves him, so easy and so matter of fact, stays at the forefront of his mind and though today is an ordinary Friday night spent with his friends the way he always does whenever he’s not at work, it doesn’t feel all that ordinary. He feels so overjoyed, elated and hopeful for the future as he continues watching her.

He muses about how the morning after his first night with MJ he’d been so horrified at the prospect of having to work in close contact with her after their one night stand and how he had wished he’d known he was going to work with her so he wouldn’t have slept with her. Now though, he’s glad that they slept with each other, that they’d turned out to be co-workers, and that they’d worked closely together because it gave him the chance to get to know her and fall for her. There are some things that he wishes never happened- namely MJ losing her father and the pain that had caused her- but meeting her is definitely not one of them.

Peter can feel his cheeks starting to hurt from how much he is grinning at the thought of how far they’ve come as he watches MJ lift her glass to her lips and take a small sip. He has to hold back a laugh when she suddenly spits the water back out, luckily managing to catch it all in the glass so it doesn’t go all over her or the table.

She turns to look at him expectantly and though she’s very good at schooling her features he can tell she’s embarrassed by something based on the almost imperceptible twitch of the corner of her lips, the way she swallows almost audibly and the way her hand that’s been lightly resting on his thigh squeezes his leg slightly.

“What? What is it?” Peter asks in confusion, turning from her to face the couple opposite them to try and figure out what he’s just missed.

“I was just saying that Betty and I are thinking of moving in together,” Ned explains.

“Aw, that’s cute guys. I’m really happy for you,” Peter beams, genuinely happy for the couple as he goes to pick up his own glass.

“Yeah and I was saying that would obviously leave you and MJ roommate-less so I’d suggested that you two could just move in together as well,” Betty adds with a teasing smirk, awaiting his response.

Now it’s Peter’s turn to spit his drink out, except he doesn’t have MJ’s grace so he isn’t able to stop himself and the drink spills over his t-shirt and a bit goes onto his lap as well.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologises profusely, getting up so he can go and clean himself up and also run away from this conversation.

As he makes his way to the bathroom he feels bad for leaving MJ to face the overbearing couple alone but figures MJ is witty and smart enough to handle them, she could probably throw them a killer one-liner that would shut them up and get them to stop their pestering.

 _Probably_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay that's it phew, hope this epilogue wasn't too disappointing. I am embarrassed by the amount of work I put into making sure this was exactly 52k words in total lol. Anyway, thanks so much for sticking w this, thanks to everyone that's read and left kudos and special thanks to those that took the time to leave comments- I really appreciate y'all.  
> Just a quick fyi- my finals are coming up so I won't be writing/posting for the next 3-4weeks but once I'm done I'll come back and post the final chap of 'Reversal' and I'll update the 'Beyond the Lights' and '10 Things I Hate About You' aus then I'm gonna start posting my MJ as Black Cat au as well. 
> 
> Again- thanks so much for reading and as always, comments and kudos are much appreciated x


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